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Fella Down Under – Birthright Born to Rule: Balmoral, Where the Bloody Hell Are Ya?

To our persistent, unrelenting shame and misfortune, he has nothing to offer on climate change, but another great tour, scheme to unravel (yet to be announced) and photo opportunity with an Australian general election coming up. Hotter than heaven here on earth and hell hath no fury than a great Aussie bushfire fanned by a climate chameleon Così fan tutte.

Yup, Morrison did Cornwall in June and now he’s going to Glasgow, to proclaim perhaps his fifth great-grandfather on the other side of the family was a Jacobite.

Watch out Scotland Morrison’s on his way to tour your country and claim his Scottish birthright!

‘More than two centuries after his ancestor was cast out of Cornwall for stealing and sent to Australia with hundreds of other convicts, Scott Morrison returned to the area on Friday as prime minister of Australia’.

‘“It’s a long time since one of my family was in Cornwall,” Mr. Morrison said in a speech in Perth on Wednesday before traveling to meet with other world leaders at the Group of 7 conference’.

‘Mr. Morrison said Mr. Roberts was his “fifth great-grandfather.”’ (NY Times).

Thanks to the New York Times PM exposé in Cornwall in June, where the roots of heritage and birthright are only a stone’s throw over the Atlantic:

“He stole some yarn in Cornwall, and the rest is history,” Mr. Morrison said. “More than 200 years of it, so it’ll be interesting to be going back there.”

He’s been stealing and spreading yarns ever since and while he was director of the New Zealand Office of Tourism and Sport, Liberal Party of Australia (NSW division) and Tourism Australia. It runs in the blood and now he’s our Prime Minister, the worst and saddest yarn in our political history, corrupt as a blood sucking Aussie blow fly on the boil of Ned Kelly’s arse. But I doubt it will stop him wanting to plonk his own sorry butt before the Scottish throne if only for another minute of demigoddery. But he might have to kneel and squeal before the Queen for that little pearl of destiny. We’ve warned the Queen about it before and we have good reason to believe she’s been listening this time, which is more than we can say for Morrison and his Aussie salute to women.

Message for the wee folks in Scotland we love you, so you might want to deport and detain him indefinitely on St Kilda, we don’t want him back and the French don’t like him either!

Ask Greta Thunberg, she has a bone or two to pick with him and it’s not about the JokeKeeper billboard in Times Square.



Wouldn’t we all love to see Greta throw him a question in Glasgow now. Gloves off, I bet he’ll leave by the back door in a limousine bound for a famous distillery on a photo shoot and chat up, shake hands with the natives. From Jamaica Inn to Dumgoyne, my grand old Aunt Matilda who stole some malt – One for the Washington Post or perhaps we can dig up an opera house or nursery rhyme for the family treasure chest. That’s about as close as he’ll ever get to the Pearly Gates. ‘Don’t tell me’ says St Peter satirically rolling his eyes to the Kingdom, ‘Come to visit Mr Roberts I presume and bugger the whisky!’


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  1. Phil Pryor

    It would be desirable to have nothing to say about the P M, a Mr. Hoothafark-Izzy to Pres. Biden. If he were out of public life where all loudmouthed superstitious, ignorant idiots belong, the smell alone would improve. We have been disgraced and shamed by the turd.

  2. New England Cocky

    Geez Jon, where did you get that most appropriate pic?

    Perhaps it could become a one way ticket to the Outer Hebrides or beyond ….. but wait!! THAT would leave Beetrooter as (Acting) Prim Monster. and then think of all the opportunities for the unChristian politicians to whoop it up in the Chapel …. adultery and alcohol …. all at taxpayer’s expense.

  3. Josephus

    Love this article and comments. But it isn’t funny. Rather one eye crying one eye laughing. Oh the selfishness oh the stupidity, oh the smugness.
    That said, Labor must sack his own vote stacker and stop being silent on new coal , some of it due to destroy sacred sites. Else there will be more independents, probably a good thing mind you.

  4. Michael Taylor

    NEC, I can recommend the Orkney Islands. You won’t get any power bills in the Orkneys as enough power is generated from the sun, the wind, and the tides for all their needs. Whatever power is left over (usually 20 per cent a year) is sold off to Scotland.

    PS: Take plenty of winter clothes.

  5. Jack the Lad.

    Australia is, and has been for all my life, America’s most reliable henchman. No job is too dirty, and not only does Australia wait to be asked to do it, but has been known to beg to be allowed. For that devotion we are rewarded with being treated with contempt because we are so craven. Biden could have finished the sentence .. that fella from Down Under with ‘Y’know, the country that trashed its markets with China because they are on our side, markets that our boys quickly stepped in to fill. No offence, fella from down under, business is business.’
    That fella from down under – a lying bible basher without a shred of integrity – is still very popular with 54% of the electorate overall and 60% in Queensland, the state that handed him 23 seats to ensure a win that he believes God guaranteed.
    I’m going to spoil my ballot next time… first time ever. There are no Whitlams or Rudds in the modern ALP, and all the Indies are just disgruntled Liberals,

  6. Jon Chesterson

    Hey guys what’s wrong with St Kilda, the most remote populated island in Scotland as Christmas Island is to Australia. I did think of Rockall, a granite rock in the North Atlantic, more suited for his miracle existence, but given corporate celebrities are taking to space, Rocknest is the safest candidate – sandy beach on the surface of Aeolis Palus, foot of Aeolis Mons in the Gale crater on planet Mars. Aussies don’t seem to mind how much they are paying for peace of mind these days, although hot water is all they ever get. Polls are real creepy like those Queenslanders still voting for the LNP runaway freight train and beaming sunshine Scotty.

  7. BB

    Aye, the bawbag will turn up in a kilt mumbling Yer bum’s oot the windae! I trust Morrison gets greeted with a Glaswegian kiss.

  8. Michael Taylor

    BB, Glasgow is about as Left as a place could be.

    Doug Cameron was a Glaswegian, and he was telling me that on the first day in his working life he was told; “You’re joining the union, laddy.”

    We need more Glaswegians in Aussie politics.

  9. Michael Taylor

    PS: The reason they are called Glaswegians is because of all the Norwegian Vikings who settled there.

  10. John Boyd

    ‘…I’m going to spoil my ballot next time…’ Tks…another vote for the LNP. While I would like to see a Whitlam, not Rudd, Mr A is doing a good job with a great team Sure there are bits of policy that one doesn’t agree with, (I am a member), but please don’t make the mistake of equating Labor’s failure to meet your high standards with the total failure of the LNP on any measure. Doing so just reinforces the ‘they’re all the same’ narrative. I can argue that the denigration of Bill Shorten for being less than perfect, by commentators in outlets that one would expect to be populated with sensible opinion, contributed to the loss in 2019. It only took a few thousand votes in key electorates.

  11. Florence Howarth

    Last night 4 Corners showed us how a true Christian leader acts.

  12. Michael Taylor

    Jack, you’d like our independent, Helen Haines. She fights for more Labor values than Labor does.

  13. BB

    Aye Michael,
    Glasgow, left of politics, unions and Viking heritage, a warrior race..
    Which is why I hope the scots give Morrison a proper greeting, a Glaswegian kiss, (and for those not familiar with the term),
    it means a hard headbutt to the nose resulting in a bleeding and broken nose. Yes please….😁😁😁

    This is an interesting article in the ABC…

    Mr Blackburn said another fundamental problem for Australia was neoliberal ideology and deregulation, which had “done some good”, but had led it “into a very vulnerable position” due to a lack of common sense.

    “I reckon if state and territory leaders get together a national cabinet that is not run by the Prime Minister, we might have some really interesting conversations,” he said.

    “The states have already got the lead on climate change, for example. The net zero stuff they’re pushing is way over the federal government’s head.”

  14. leefe

    “PS: The reason they are called Glaswegians is because of all the Norwegian Vikings who settled there.”

    Well, thank you. That name has always bugged me because it didn’t make sense but now it does.
    Now if only I could get people to stop calling us southerners “Taswegians” …

  15. O’Rourke

    It’s actually a ‘Glesga kiss’, almost identical to a ‘Liverpool kiss.’ Neither is pleasant. I’ve been the subject of the latter, and my nose still hurts after 40 years.
    The Viking heritage persists in many place names in the north of England, many ending in ‘by’, or including ‘thing’ in them, eg Helsby or Thingwall in the Wirral peninsula
    And Liverpool’s famous Scouse is a shortening of the Norwegian ‘lobscouse.’
    Vegetarian Scouse is called ‘blind Scouse’ – and it is usually blind by mistake, or it had better be. A lunch server would dread to hear ‘Eh you! This friggin’ Scouse is blind, yer tight get!’ because there is no meat in it…Woe betide it’s deliberate.

  16. BB


    Thank you for such “enlightenment”. The term actually has different local variations ok, so please refrain from lecturing…
    It’s of “nose” wonder you got “kissed”, if you were trying to be as pedantic back then as you are trying to be now! 🤣

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