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Feline Metathesiophobia

Congratulations, Australia! You cowering clowder of fraidy cats have capitulated in the face of a blatant fear campaign and negative, deceitful sloganeering from Smirker and his coprolytic Luddites and drongos. Frightened? Now you should be; we face three more years of regressive zealotry, incompetence and appalling behaviour because you voters have endorsed it all as being acceptable. Deplorable!

We’ve had six years of a grim regime of cranks, liars, humbugs, religious nutters, bellicose bullies, autocrats and self-interested, dodgy carpet-baggers. Tumult reigned, idiocy prevailed over logic and reason, sabotage and wrecking substituted for policy vision and yet they were returned to wreak further havoc. WTF, Australia? Seriously, WTF?

The Lying Nasty Party implemented a scare campaign for the 2019 election given they could not run on their abysmal track record and are bereft of plans, imagination and ideas. Their intention to play their cherished terrorism scare card was kyboshed by events in Christchurch – you could read the disappointment on ScoMo’s face as he pretended to care about the brownish victims. Ersatzgruppenfuhrer Dutton didn’t pretend at all – empathy not being characteristic of psychopaths.

So, Kill Bill and the Lib mythology of better economic management was overlaid on Chicken Little panic marketing of lies and distortions on tax. And it worked. Ironically the facile spruiking by Morrison the failed marketing man finally succeeded.

No-one ever lost an election by underestimating the intelligence of the general public was FauxMo’s effective take on the old H L Mencken aphorism.

So what are we in for?

The conservatives believe they now have a licence from the electorate to ramp up their belligerence and artiface. Self-satisfied, smug arrogance was on full display as Scotty FauxMo Morrison assembled his grinning claque of second-raters slathering and cheering with relief that their FUD campaign has them delivered three more years in control of the hen house.

That salty, yellow trickle-down will be the effluent from the affluent as FauxMo and Co pass more of the tax burden across to those least able to afford it. The Slogan Bogan’s “a fair go for those who have a go” is an opaque variation of Sloppy Joe Hockey’s “lifters and leaners” and his advice to first home hopefuls to “get a good job that pays good money.” What they really mean of course is that they’ll look after the wealthy and comfortable at the expense of the undeserving “others”. The wealthy bankers have already broken out the Krug and Cubans to celebrate the likely resurrection of $billions in tax breaks and rising share values as self-funded retirees jump aboard the now loudly advertised gravy train of franking credits. “The Bill You Can’t Afford”? You bet they can’t, you bet you can’t.

The “poverty is a choice, winner takes all, for some to win others have to lose” mindset of the mammon-worshipping neo-liberals was grafted into the Liberal Party’s genes by the mean and tricky government of John The Lying Rodent Howard and nurtured by Abbott the egregious ecclesiastic and his supercilious sidekick Hockey. A glimmer of hope in a top hat was brutally extinguished with the political assassination of Malcolm Turnbull as the knuckle-draggers returned to BAU via the connivance of Spud-Dutton and his goon squad whose innumeracy played into the hands of the manufactured guilelessness of FauxMo, their default right-wing saviour.

Dr Heckle and Mr Edward ‘Shouty’ Hyde

The hectoring Mr Shouty, disguised as Mr Fair Dinkum Geniality during the election campaign, will return. That condescending, trademark smirk will be on full display as his pea-and-thimble responses to scrutiny get a full workout. Scotty will be answerable to no-one other than his personal, negatively geared, Mercedes-driving Jesus.

Shouty’s many co-religionists (sans the feral friar from Warringah) have been given licence to reopen the throttle on science-denial, bigotry and dogma. Fear and loathing of “the others” will be encouraged, enthusiastically megaphoned by the Murdoch propaganda machine. The nutters will demand their god-given right to discriminate and stigmatise in the cause of freedom of religion and in service to their homophobic, omnipotent invisible friend in the sky.

And, when you have a friend in Jesus you don’t want evidence, facts and proofs to interfere with your superstitions. Science is just a belief system to be ignored and denigrated. The planet was gifted to these folk by their deity for them to exploit. Climate emergency, mass extinctions? Phhhht!

Our secular democracy has endorsed a creationist – a man with a literal belief in hell, Armageddon and the imminent end of times. Our man in charge thinks it’s all going to end soon and that he and his prosperity-gospelling freaky friends will ascend to the heavens while the rest of us burn for eternity. Good call, Australia.

(I wonder whether the brethren of Horizon Church sign up for extended warranties on their new Beemer SUVs).

Calling in the favours

Clive Palmer did not spend $60 million on his campaign thinking he’d pick up a swathe of seats for the UAP. The blobulous Clive spent that dough to further his interests in opening up the Galilee Basin for his coal mine aspirations via tax-payer funded rail and infrastructure. He’ll be calling in the L/NP IOU that the coal adulators will enthusiastically pay. The deplorable Matt King Coal Canavan and dodgy Well Done Angus Tayor took to the streets almost immediately to trash the ideological foundations of their free enterprise party by insisting we all underwrite the grifters and shonks like Palmer and Adani to further pollute our planet.

The scrotum-headed Rupert Murdoch will expect his flagrant anti-Labor propaganda to be paid for through continuing undermining of the ABC because rampaging free-marketeers hate competition. And the Libs hate scrutiny, seeing any questioning of their dogma or behaviour as some sort of lefty-conspiracy. These are the freaks who voted 2:1 to sell off the ABC at the party’s 2018 annual council. Expect three more years of attacks and undermining of our nation’s most trusted institution.

* * * * *

Pandering to venality, looking the other way on dodgy practices, further privatisation of government to squeeze private profits from essential services, accelerated politicisation and evisceration of the public service, uncontested government contracts handed to mates, stripping assets and outsourcing facilities to opaque Cayman Islands entities, avoidance of scrutiny with a toothless integrity commission, conflicts of interest, in-fighting and backstabbing … all this and more from a cabal of crooks, short-bus passengers, grifters and poltroons. All of it OK’d by an apathetic/ignorant/selfish/scared public who, despite six years warning, decided this rabble was the safest option.

I fucking despair, yet every cloud etc. The village idiot Abbott is gone, defrocked in his Liberal stronghold and providing a glimmer of hope when even the rusted-ons show that they are not prepared to tolerate the climate crazies.

The puce goose from New England has been stripped of any authority and is likely now to remain in his rightful place, if not a jail cell, then as a backbench laughing stock.

An Indigenous Australian has been given ministerial responsibility for Aboriginal Affairs.

Science and the marketplace will by-pass the climate-denial idiocy as renewables continue their inexorable rise in energy generation. The Canavans and Taylors in this government will be sidelined by circumstances.

“Unfortunately today there is no carbon price. And unfortunately it is free to emit carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. It doesn’t feel right and it shouldn’t be like that. There needs to be a cost to change people’s behaviour.” (BP’s global head of carbon management Gardiner Hill, on the sidelines of the APPEA oil and gas conference, defying calls from Resources Minister Matt Canavan for industry to abandon support for a carbon price).

And just as the Coalition government ramps up its efforts to push through the Adani coal mine, and potentially new investments in coal generation, BHP has declared that thermal coal is likely to make a quicker exit than most people expect, and it is getting ready for a decarbonised economy.

BHP’s landmark strategy briefing, delivered by CEO Peter Beaven to analysts … highlights the growing gulf between what individual companies see as the future of renewables and electric vehicles, and the self-interested rhetoric of the business lobbies that represent them and the Coalition government that slavishly adheres to conservative nay-sayers. (; ‘BHP sees early end for thermal coal, plugs in to electric future‘).

Frightened? I’m not frightened, just disgusted and deeply disappointed. You’ve got three years, Australia. Wake up!

A typical LNP voter, maybe? (Image from

See also:

Five aspects of Pentecostalism that shed light on Scott Morrison’s politics – The Conversation

The ‘prosperity doctrine’ and neoliberal Jesusing, Scott Morrison-style – The Guardian

The myth of Coalition economic management – The Drum, ABC

Investigation: Barnaby’s gas bonanza and the pervading influence of the gas lobby – Michael West

Scott Morrison, the opportunist – Mungo MacCallum

Scott Morrison is not an ‘accidental’ Prime Minister – Peter Hartcher


This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer (


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  1. johno

    All in all plenty to be grumpy about. The silver lining in my neck of the woods was Downer not getting back in Mayo, Hurrrah, and oh yeah Sarah Hanson Young increased her vote. Onya Sarah.

  2. Aortic

    Might have been George Carlin, not sure, who said all governments deserve two terms. The first in office and the second in prison. Never a truer word spoken for this incompetent, lying, no policy bunch of fckwits. Christensen, Cash, Robert, Cavanagh, Taylor the list is endless in inability but the wonderfully insightful voters couldn’t see beyond their coal mines and their so called franking ” tax” loss. We are fortunate we have such abundant resources, otherwise we would have been an isolated basket case long before this. Where is the inclusive vision of Whitlam, the larrikin wisdom of Hawke and the this will be good for the country regardless Keating? Where indeed when compared to the this happy clapping no idea God will fix it all PR salesman. What a PrIce we have paid, and so did she thank goodness.

  3. Kronomex


    Go on, let us really know how you really feel about Scummo and The Scumettes.

  4. Grumpy Geezer


    You should hear me when i’ve sipped a coupla chardonnays too many.

  5. Leep

    I am so depressed another three years of inevitable status quo why Australian voters act so dumb why do they feel that they are in the 3% Why they feel that the LNP has all the answers I think it’s true the majority voters don’t make up their minds till day of election and Don’t they realise that we have got an employment problem what do they think that the thousand jobs in the hundred thousand people unemployed will solve their unemployment problems and this minuscule number of jobs will save their bacon and that is only surmised I remember when Adani was promising 10,000 jobs and what happened to that promise and now it’s only 1/10 of that vast number why are they so dumb. Maybe it’s because there Queenslanders.

  6. Kaye Lee

    Excellent article. Thanks GG.

  7. Grumpy Geezer

    Coming from someone as articulate and plausible as yourself Kaye Lee I am a little bit chuffed.


  8. Stephengb

    It seems that the ALP is conconvinced at the lies, misinformation and dirty propaganda lost them the election, I think they are dead right about that and so do most of us on the Left

    Meanwhile Albo says slowly go fwd. The guy on the Left of ALP politics is now indicating a step to the Right, in order to counter the Extreme Right of the LNP.

    Proving emphatically that the populous was right to vote LNP ? Go figure!

  9. Tjerk Dusseldorp

    Like Prince Paul you get down under the language to real clarity. That’s hard to do.

  10. Ill fares the land

    Initial signs for Albo are both concerning and encouraging. I don’t think his factions have let him pick his most talented front bench and that indicates there will be persisitent tensions within Labor. Shorten managed to keep them out of the public gaze, which is essential, because the LNP gets plenty of free kicks and turning the blind eye from the media, including the ABC, whereas Labor get crucified for every little thing – even if the basis of that “thing” is rumour.. Happy to see the typically invisible Don Farrell stand aside, but Husic is a good performer, as is Andrew Leigh.

    On the other hand, Albo handles the media better and more naturally than Shorten, especially with the “off the cuff” stuff. I was impressed with his “that’s a slogan not a policy” retort to a particularly stupid question from the media outside Parliament House. Labor need to make every post a winner to topple the most incompetent band of corrupt liars that htis country has seen in my adult lifetime. No other government has even come close – this government have not only done essentially nothing positive, what they have done has been done badly.

  11. helvityni

    I did not know who Don Farrell was/is, but feel sorry for good performers ( pleasant blokes as well ) Husic and Leigh…

  12. TuffGuy

    As a fellow grumpy geezer I believe your summation of our current situation was most eloquently put.

  13. Grumpy Geezer


    Greetings fellow grumpy and thank you.

    (I am a pending grandparent and there was a debate as to my new title – grandad, pop, poppy etc. The family settled on Grump Pa).

  14. Michael Taylor

    Well done, Grumpy. You’re post is going viral. You’re entering Kaye Lee territory.

  15. Sam

    I wish I could be happy about the small victories but Frazer Anning not getting back in, is the same as Palmer not getting seats in a way. Anning supporters are celebrating that they can’t be ignored any more and that they’ve dragged the political discourse further right. So they see themselves as having still won in a big way. Hard to enjoy a victory over a nazi when the nazi’s still think they won.

    Abbott losing his seat would have been the cherry on top of the Labor victory sundae but now I’m worried that without the threat of Abbott sniping from the backbench, Scummo might have a easier run. I remember a journalist describing the result as a dream come true as he got back in and solved the Abbott problem all in one. Plus I’m over the trend of getting rid of powerful and terrible conservative members with independents with strong conservative tendencies and maybe one progressive idea at best.

    I think maybe I still need at least a few more weeks, to wrap my head around the level of stupidity show at this election.

  16. Grumpy Geezer

    Nice to hear Michael.

    Usually i clear a room.

  17. Jennifer Demas

    Come on voters can only vote on the divisive, scaremongering and toxic polices and politics of media tsars and aggregate of wealth, and agree with Shorten, on the leviathans and has been at it for decades brand democracy of trickle down economic reform then USA President Abe Lincoln, “I see in the near future a crises approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country… corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruptions will follow and the money power of the country will endeavour to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed” and the rest is history trickle down economics on high octane steroids, prejudices against each other ramped to the nth degree and the rest is history, rich richer, ever widening social inequality, economic insecurity the norm, unravelling social fabric a viscerally angry people disengaged and disenfranchised from the political sphere divided against it self as the booty is off-shored to a balmy island and as in the US, Australians caved. Just as then when Australia was being prepared for the 21st century, NBN FTTP, better deal for natural resources, price on carbon educating for the 21st century, etc etc, then it was toxic, divisive, scaremongering to the nth and the finale the from the gutter to their waiting bottomless sewerage farm it was relentless to the point of exhaustion and voters caved in fear.

    Also then JF Kennedy, “The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all”, voters will not deliberately vote in ignorance and against their own and future generations interest, they can only vote on what they being force fed by media tsars and aggregate of wealth than add for good measure aggregate toxicity of, “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping the common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from eating the rich” (Napoleon) yep, and the rest is history. Now just as then the aggregation of wealth and media tsars was toxic, divisive, scaremongering to the nth and the rest is history. So does anybody really honestly still believe media tsars and aggregate wealth hoovered up print, screen, radio, snookered Australia out of any semblance of digitisation for an open free, equal transparent democracy not just at the ballot box really?, nah it always was and will be democracy of for and by the aggregate wealth, media tsars, as evidenced by the enemy of my enemy is my friend, hook up of a mining magnate, media tsar, aggregation of wealth add the stuff that keeps the common people quiet game over voters caved and the rest is history. It would be nice if the self absorbed journos with their own self importance give the voter a break, they can only go and the journalistic force feed and that has always been brand democracy of for and by media tsars and moneyed corporations. To the 4th estate just own your co-creation.

  18. Jack Russell

    I don’t know how most Australians haven’t figured out that we are being denied a 21st Century because of the stunted mind-sets of a few.

    They day they/we do will be interesting …

  19. New England Cocky

    Geez Geezer, I trust you feel better after getting that all out. Mind you, I think that you may have offended a number of species, like rats, geese and cats, by associating them with the Lazy Nasty People misgovernment.

    Especially the geese, who are a declining species in the farmyards of economically declining New England, where the representative of MDB water thieves continues in his single remaining role of Adulterer-in-Chief of the Nat$ awaiting of the outcome of the investigation by NSW Police into the suspicious fire at the former Armidale Club immediately after the announcement of that site for the APVMA in Armidale town rather than the UNE Campus as originally reported.

    Barnyard is possibly in a difficult position now that he has been properly excluded from both the Federal Ministeries of Agriculture and Water. His Federal position remains under threat from the ambitious Adam “Holla4A” Marshall, Member for Northern Tablelands (Nat$) and NSW Minister for Agriculture in the electorate that has expanded to include many of the broad are farmers accused of MDB water theft. There is local speculation that these good citizens will turner their allegiance to the person having power over water supply rather than a randy rooster sitting on the back bench.

    Ionically, the Hecton Products Sheep Handling Equipment advertised under your article is most appropriate and there are unsubstantiated reports that the Nat$ will call for tenders to install such equipment at every polling booth in the New England and Northern Tablelands electorates for the next NSW and Federal elections.

  20. Keitha Granville

    Brilliant, perfect summation ! I have been so depressed since the election, but every day I read great pieces like this and know that I am not alone and we WILL get there next time – if we still have a country left.

    Congrats on the grandparent thing- my husband has been called Grumpy all his working life, but to our littles he is just silly old Pa. It’s nice.

  21. Margot Korbell

    And from the right wing press.

    David Van Gend 25 May 2019
    Scott Morrison, having parted Labor’s red sea and led his astonished people to the promised land, must seize his Moses moment. He and his right hand man, Joshua (named after Moses’ all-conquering general) must show appropriate gratitude for this miraculous deliverance and smash some pagan idols.


    Who is David Van Gend I hear you ask. David van Gend is a family doctor in Queensland and President of the Australian Marriage Forum and author of Stealing from a Child: The Injustice of ‘Marriage Equality’

    Then there is Chris Kenny who wrote this in the Weekend Australian.

    Deplorables of middle Australia got it right, again
    JUNE 1, 2019

    Credit where it is due, we have emerged from a period of puerile political sparring. The national debate is returning to the centre with sensible discussion about managing climate policy while protecting energy interests, keeping taxes as low as possible and protecting liberties such as religious freedoms.
    And the people to thank for this resurgence of rationality are not the elites; most of the political class, academics, business leaders and media commentators were useless or complicit in the preceding chaos, as they failed to challenge the outlandish agenda taken to two elections by Bill Shorten and Labor or encouraged it.
    Instead of being sceptical or concerned about an unprecedented jump in the tax take, ­acceleration of spending and escalation of energy upheaval, most of the so-called elites applauded. The nation dodged a bullet and it need not thank its political/media class.
    No, we were protected, once more, by the common sense of the mainstream. Even under the ­expanding influence of a recalcitrant and ideological public broadcaster and distorted and disproportionately amplified social media, voters remained steadfastly connected to reality.
    Let’s be frank, the political/media class tends to be like an evil inversion of the three wise monkeys — see no sense, hear no sense, speak no sense.
    Shorten got a dream run from most of the media. The public broadcasting behemoths of the ABC and SBS campaigned for him; Nine Media (except for Macquarie Radio) was on board; the Canberra press gallery was largely onside and a host of online and social media entities barracked for his issues and success.
    Only News Corp and Macquarie Radio applied any scrutiny to Labor’s agenda. Big business stayed right out of the central ­arguments, showing more interest in supporting Labor’s climate and social issue virtue signalling than it did in endorsing tax cuts and climate caution.

  22. corvus boreus

    Margot Korbell,
    Interesting to see the Spectator giving a forum for a Qld GP to blow the biblical trumpets of both Moses and Joshua.
    Joshua, although not classed as a divine prophet, was much more pure of purpose than Moses.
    When Moses invaded his neighbours, he slaughtered civilian captives, but spared virgin girls and livestock as spoils of war.
    When Joshua conquered, his modus operandi was to commit complete genocide (including women, children, livestock and pets).
    I guess the take-home is that both Dr Van Gend and the editorial staff at the Spectator endorse invasive conquests involving the slaughter of civilians, the sexual enslavement of children and acts of genocide.
    Demented sickos.

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