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Fake Empire – Clive Palmer, Craig Kelly, and the questionable memberships

By Peter Wicks

Craig Kelly’s claim of 30,000 new members has many wondering if his counting ability is any more reliable than his Covid treatments.

The fastest growing political party on earth.

That’s what Clive Palmer and Craig Kelly would like us to think the United Australia Party has achieved. This however, appears to be smoke and mirrors.

Some of you may have seen the full page advert in the press over the weekend bragging about achieving 30,000 new members in 10 days.

 

 

I thought I’d reach out to some of them to see what was attracting them to the party of Covid denial and crackpot theories.

Fortunately I was able to reach several of them on the same number. I spoke to a lovely lady whose UAP membership recognises as Usad Dickface. So impressed with the sound policies and professional medical opinions of Craig Kelly was young Ms Dickface that she thought she’d sign up a few memberships for some of her imaginary friends as well.

It’s not just the expert advice on Covid treatments attracting members like Dickface however, Mr Kelly is known to have active members of staff such as Frank Zumbo, who is widely regarded as one of the most ‘hands-on’ staffers around. For all the wrong reasons.

Another new member of UAP that I spoke with was surprised when his membership details including his membership number appeared in his inbox. It was a surprise to him as he would rather inject bleach into his own head than join the party that likely thinks this is a legitimate Covid treatment.

 

 

Given there is no cost involved in joining, Grant assumed that someone was having a bit of a joke at his expense.

 

Craig Kelly and Frank Zumbo (Image from the ABC)

 

The United Australia Party seems more intent on creating an impression rather than building a legitimate party. It is a plan as pathetic as a Senator buying Twitter followers, but arguably even less convincing.

The UAP membership page has such a low standard of authentication checking that many would assume that it has been designed to allow people to sign up anyone or anything they like. I sure as hell do.

Here’s how it all works.

I was fortunate to have an IT expert, Michelle Stevens, helping me out. Her speciality is search algorithms, and how government and private enterprise use algorithms for personalisation.

The authentication system used by Palmer on the UAP site, a Zoho Webform site is substandard. It will allow you to put anything in and will still accept your membership.

For example, here’s one we did for the Hulk, Mr Louis Ferrigno. His federal electorate is Cork in Ireland but he lives in Queensland with a postcode that doesn’t exist.

Here’s UAP’s membership form accepting the data.

 

 

 

Here’s Australia Post confirming the postcode doesn’t exist.

 

 

Here is the confirmation of UAP accepting the application.

 

Note that the email address matches the one on the membership form

 

It is important to note that the major parties have a proper authentication system that would never allow this to happen. They want real members, not fake members.

Even if you scrape the bottom of the barrel, you’ll find One Nation have better authentication.

It is also important to note that most parties have a membership fee. Most people are less inclined to set up 100 fake memberships for Ronald McDonald etc if there’s a cost involved. Clive and Craig don’t care.

Recently there has been an increase in burst blood vessels in peoples temples as phone owners nationwide are bombarded by unwanted texts from Mr 5G himself, Craig Kelly.

People have been understandably furious that he has obtained their phone number without their permission. Well I’ll let you in on a little secret. He hasn’t.

UAP will have been using a random number generator which will take the first two numbers as 04 and then just pump out texts to randomly generated numbers. This is why texts have been received on different days, it’s the cycle of the generator rather than an uploaded list of numbers. Unfortunately however, Clive and Craig may know yours is a legitimate number if you respond with warm wishes, as I’m sure many have.

 

Screenshot from a random number generator

 

Some minor parties have been doing membership drives in a struggle to reach the new minimum membership threshold. Many have been vocal about having to find 1500 members in a country of over 25 Million.

A few things to remember, we all struggle with the road-map sized Senate ballot, those complaining are seeking to make it bigger still. Taxpayers foot the bill for this enormous ballot paper, the smaller the ballot, the lower the cost to the taxpayer. If a party can’t rally 1500 members then it’s time to form a knitting circle or something.

I have had many people contact me recently about the process of resigning from a minor party.

If you have joined a party and wish to leave you just need to cancel your membership in writing to the Party’s head office. The AEC will be doing random checks from membership lists provided by the parties, if they contact you, simply say you are no longer a member.

If a party claims a member that has left or doesn’t exist here’s what the AEC confirmed with me today;

“…from an electoral law perspective is that the AEC being advised that people on the membership have never been, or are no longer, a member could result in a party being deregistered.”

With 30,000 new members of the calibre of our big green friend Louis Ferrigno, I reckon someone in Craig Kelly’s office has a big job in front of them.

 

Don’t call me a fake member

 

This article was originally published on Wixxyleaks.

You can follow Peter on Twitter @madwixxy.

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9 comments

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  1. Cynthia Mitchell

    Twice I have received unwanted unsolicited messages and emails to my phone number from Kelly’s outfit; immediately deleted unopened.
    Surely they cannot count unwanted spam mail to a random phone number as “membership”.

  2. Jennifer A Meyer-Smith

    UAP, Kelly and Palmer are fake peddlers for sure.

  3. Jennifer A Meyer-Smith

    Hating UAP, Palmer and Kelly is no reason to argue against the rise of minor parties.

    Labor would do well to extend the hand of friendship to the likes of the Greens, TNL and the Australian Progressives.

    To vote with the LNP Regime to exclude minor parties by increasing mandatory memberships, just makes Labor look like part of the problem and not part of the solution.

    Perhaps you could give Tony Burke some friendly advice on that front since the #DinosaurDuopoly is Dead.

  4. Michael Taylor

    I’ve been spammed twice now.

  5. Warren

    I was happy to join the Federal ICAC Now (FIN) Party. And the Science Party. But only one membership counts toward party registration.Palmer/Kelly suffer from Huckfed disease.

  6. Williambtm

    I have to admit that the ethics of Craig Kelly and Clive Palmer denote the same ethics of John Howard’s L/NP party government best practices for election.

    There has not been any proper leadership demonstrated by the current L/NP, yet it seems that Craig Kelly is still fixated on the nothingness of the former Howard’s revamped manual of just tell ’em lies, then f/’em.

    This same has been demonstrated by today’s L/NP party functioning with their strict adherence to the book of L/NP party ‘electoral guidance’ authored by the treacherous Howard since his 1996 appointment as an L/NP party Prime Minister.

    Old Clive Palmer has more money than most, as well may be due to his dodgy dealings and purchased approvals toward any continuing mining operation bearing his ownership.
    He is just another of the mining charlatans out there, another is Glencore, they are also an untrustable major American-based mining consortium bent on plundering our Australian resources and paying f/all of their due income taxes.

    So much so that an honest government would have already told them to f/off from Australia.
    A huge problem has already been created by the US HQ’d Chevron corporation ownership of Australia’s major gas production fields.
    Chevron refuses to supply the East Coast of Australia with this natural gas below our lands or within our nearshore gas fields, is exporting our gas to bloody near all of what could have been Australia’s owned gas exporter of what should have remained our exclusive gas fields.
    A combination of Palmer and Kelly if elected will not be seeking to serve the best interests of our people.

  7. BB

    Not in the least bit surprised at the blatant fraudulent activity, misrepresentation and propaganda of such crude low life.

    I’ve been spammed twice as well now Michael, and I don’t even have a mobile phone, it’s just the number of my broadband mobile internet modem, and appears as a text msg on the modem msg board. lol. I simply delete without opening the msg.

    The random number generator must be on a repeat loop.. so expect more… Just goes to prove what a desperado UAP is..

    Here’s a link to check on the registration of parties..
    https://www.aec.gov.au/parties_and_representatives/party_registration/Registered_parties/

    “In accordance with Part XI of the Commonwealth Electoral Act 1918, the political party whose details appear below was registered on 12 December 2018. The current particulars of the party, as amended on 7 September 2021, are:-“

    NOTE that UAP just amended it’s details yesterday on the 7th of Sept 2021…
    Mmm I wonder what details were amended? (😉😉, say no more)

    Clive Palmer and his bosom buddy bed mate Graig Kelly are two disgusting seriously obese arseholes flatulating downwind!

    DANGER! BEWARE! POISONOUS GAS LEAK

  8. Terence Mills

    Would it be immature to sign up for UAP membership using silly names like, for instance :

    Seymour Buttz, Pulmah Finga, Stella Virgin, Yuri Nator, Lou Sirr, Annie Position

    When Messrs Palmer and Kelly obviously have our best interests at heart it would probably be childish but a bit of fun nonetheless

  9. GL

    Terence,

    I’m considering filling in two applications –

    Doctor Clive Kelly.
    Professor Craig Palmer.

    A little obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells but this is Dense and Denserer we’re talking about here.

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