Excellent Work, Mr Abbott, Now Let’s Apply The Same Logic To A Few Other Areas

Image from The Chaser

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. As you may remember, the Government went to the last election with a policy of reducing accidental deaths in the workplace by twenty percent. We’re pleased to say that, not only are we on target to achieve this, the current indication is that we should exceed this target by a third. Obviously, this means that we can now announce that safety equipment should be considered optional and no new money should be spent on workplace safety.”

Mm, doesn’t sound plausible? What about:

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. As you may remember, the Government went to the last election with a policy of reducing government waste by twenty percent. We’re pleased to say that, not only are we on target to achieve this, the current indication is that we should exceed this target by a third. Obviously, this means that we must now embark on a spending spree so that we don’t exceed this target. Please send us your suggestions as to how we can spend frivolously to ensure that we only just meet our aim because to exceed it would be silly.”

All right then, so why does the Industry Minister Ian Macfarlane think that it’s fine to reduce the amount of energy produced by renewable energy projects by 2020 from 41,000 gigawatt hours to about 26,000?

“It won’t be a 27 per cent renewable energy target, it will be 20 per cent renewable energy target.”

 

But we all know that renewable energy costs more, right? Well, it does for the moment but according to the Murdoch Government’s own review, it should be cheaper by 2020, so we don’t want too much of that renewable stuff floating round. I mean, don’t wind farms slow down the wind which’d make the planet hotter? Doesn’t using too much solar risk us having less sunshine in winter? Not to mention those “unsightly wind farms” that so disturb Joe Hockey.

You know, Joe Hockey who assured the British that we have the “cleanest coal in the world”. After all, we have lots of brown coal and that must surely be cleaner than black coal, in spite of what the scientists say. Scientists, as we all know, would say anything if it suited their agenda of turning the world into a place where research was valued as much as the winner of the Melbourne Cup. (Personally, I like Guest of Honour and Side Glance for the Cox Plate, even though they’re both foreign horses!)

The Warburton Review found that this change to renewables would have the effect of redistributing wealth. From the fossil fuel industry to the renewable sector. And it might even lead to lower prices, which would mean that they were paying less tax and that’d mean that there’d be less money to spend on schools, hospitals, jet fighters, Middle Eastern Crusades, public information campaigns, shifting tables to the G20 and paying ASIO to troll the internet and change websites from what people had actually written to what they were actually thinking so that we didn’t have to wait until they’d actually done something before arresting them.

  • * *

Can’t finish without paying tribute to Gough. It’s all been said, so all can do is add my “Vale Mr Whitlam”.

Of course, Mr Pyne thought it appropriate to mention that the news of the dismissal occurred while he was watching “Adventure Island” and that his mother was crying tears of joy while she was doing the ironing. I guess she was just one those lucky women who got a lot of pleasure out of ironing…

 

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

40 Comments

  1. “Of course, Mr Pyne thought it appropriate to mention that the news of the dismissal occurred while he was watching “Adventure Island” and that his mother was crying tears of joy while she was doing the ironing.”

    Lots of complimentary remarks have been made about Gough since his passing. I doubt anyone will be able to put together even a small fraction of them for the worm that is Christopher Pyne when his time comes.

  2. Don’t believe what politicians and the mainstream media say Ross. Wind power has been cheaper than coal for a year or two, and now with the new archimedes turbines which are almost double the efficiency again, and silent as well, coal is looking really sad.

    Solar power is getting close to the cost of coal, and will be cheaper in the very near future, we probably won’t have to wait the 6 years for 2020. Solar is already being taken up faster than mobile phones!

    On the coastline (where most Australians are) wind is as reliable as clockwork, being driven by the daily heat difference between the land and water.

    Inland, solar thermal towers can use molten salt to generate electricity 24 hours a day. Rooftop solar as photovoltaic cuts the cost of electricity and makes the grid more reliable, producing electricity exactly when it is needed most — during the day.

    Rooftop solar water heaters replace one of the most expensive energy needs: heating water, and they do it for free, even on cloudy days and even in snowbound climates.

    Our politicians are corrupt imbeciles and they need to get out of the way.

    The writing has been on the wall for some time now. Coal is dead, as far as an energy source is concerned. Let’s get on with using it the way we should: as a source of complex hydrocarbons for plastics and other useful chemicals.

  3. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Yes, I was housebound with four young children and little money, Yes, I was doing the ironing. A pile that one never seemed to decrease in any way.

    The ironing board was placed before a old, floor standing wooden radio. Old even for that time. My days where filled listening to Parliament. In those days, question time was fun,. Many c lever retorts much noise and movement.,

    Fred Daly was a favourite., Between the radio and current affairs show, I think I missed very little.

    It was a sad day. With four young kids, I went from not being able to call in a doctor, to having the luxury calling on them when needed.

    Thanks to Mr Whitlam, much in my life improved for the better.

    No, I did not laugh and dance. Did not cry. I was too angry for either.

    I still think much of what happened over that period of time, should have ended in court.

    I suspect we will hear all aqnout5 the scandals and love affairs

    I have not heard the Queensland Premier mentioned, and the part he played in play in setting up the scenario, breaking convention, appointing a senator outside Labor, giving he Oppositions control of the senate.,

    Maybe Whitlam was right, like Gorton before him, to give the fight up that stage.,

    By the way, we also got Blue Poles, thanks to Whitlam. I got out of a violent marriage, with easier divorce and legal aid. I got a university education. I no longer fear my kids getting sick. I , also benefitted from single mother benefits.

  4. Rossleigh ……….

    Are you losing your sardonic wit ? ……….. Nah – I don’t think so. …. Methinks you are sitting on a pearler – about to be published.

    This is a great arcitcle, none-the-less.

    The ‘gov’mint’ seems to be playing a Monopoly Game with Renewable Energy ….. get out of jail free – is the most played ( or stolen ) . ?? …. Based on the Gov’mints’ version of the game.

    I kind of think you have been a tiny bit harsh on scientists …. they are rarely given the accolades they deserve, but keep on working for the betterment of human kind. Well – at least a large % of them do. ….. I don’t think they have their own agenda’s for grandiose stands in the community … they are way too ‘nerdish’ and obsessed with their pursuits to be bothered with political – or other – hubris.

    And of course, there is no such bloody thing as ‘clean coal’. ……. why then do the Government insist on it being a viable solution to produce energy ? ….. Guess that’s got a lot of us, tossed.

    I cannot fathom that, and neither can most sane thinking people.

    Good article Rossleigh ………. thank you again.

    .

  5. Re Pyne : He is a vile creation, and can always be relied upon to bring down …. denegrate, deride and admonish – anything that anyone else thinks is sacrosanct or worthy of great applause for the work they do | did. ………. He cannot stomach being outdone in anyway, and frankly I think, needs medical attention and intervention.

    I dare not say when I hope Pynes’ time comes ! ! ! ……

    ========

    Florence …….. ironing NEVER decreases !!! …. I just ignore it mostly these days. LOL.

    I was overseas when all that happened ( on my birthday I might add – when Gough – bless his soul – was tipped out of his legitimate place in politics. ). He was a true ” spirit of Australia “. ……. I damn near had a fit when I finally caught up with that news ( in the U.S. which is not exactly up to par with overseas happenings – – – – – ever ).

    =======

    Miriam ….. your comments are extremely interesting. Well said – well done . and thank you for the insight and information into wind and solar power. Info. I had only heard some of before …….

    ——

  6. I listened to the speeches given in parliament about Gough. The irony was overwhelming. From Hansard, here is an excerpt from Warren Truss.

    “The list of Gough’s enduring stamp on our nation is long. I will note just a few. He was unquestionably the father of the modern welfare system. He made welfare a right and took away the shame or embarrassment of receiving a pension or welfare assistance. He abolished military conscription and completed the withdrawal from Vietnam. He extended Commonwealth influence into areas that had traditionally been the influence of the state, such as universal health care, needs-based school funding and fee-free university education. He abolished the death penalty and overhauled legal aid. He recognised the basic unfairness that Indigenous Australians suffered. He introduced the Family Law Court and no-fault divorce.

    There are other things that people remember him for as well. He removed the word ‘Commonwealth’ from the government and changed it to ‘Australian government’—which did not last all that much longer after he retired from government. He also abolished the imperial honours, he changed the national anthem and I think he would have changed the Australian flag if he could have got away with it. Many of those changes were highly controversial then but they are pretty well universally accepted now. Indeed, they are taken for granted as part of the Australian way of life, our identity and our sense of fundamental fairness. In many ways the Whitlam era, though brief, brought Australia into the 20th century. It certainly brought politics and social policy up to date with the social dynamic of the time and meshed policy with the modern Australian community.”

    I agree except for one point…”Indeed, they WERE taken for granted as part of the Australian way of life, our identity and our sense of fundamental fairness” until Abbott dragged us back to the 50s and Hockey, the girlinator, and Kevin bloody Andrews decided the “leaners” should be blamed, and pay, for the GFC.

  7. Never iron today. I was listening to Eva Cox this morning. Someone I had as a lecturer back in the distant past. I agree with what she had to stay. Good governance is not about the economy. It is about creating a civil and just society. Words to that effect.

    We have a government that every utterance now appear to be ;lies/ We have Senate Estimates where department heads no nothing of what this government is doing. That included trips that Abbott takes aboard. We have unions being removed from advisory boards on such things as training, including for those being put out of work by the closing down of the auto industry. Worse, the government is handing over responsibility for planning of skill training, directly to the bosses. Communit6y input not wanted. When it comes to CSIRO research is industry is being given control.

    Now seems RET has to go,, to prop up the coal industry.

    When it comes to the Obelo issue, things are even more scary Dutton lying through his teeth, as nothing has been done., Nothing at all. Pleas from UK, USA and the African countries have been ignored.

    Dutton’s lies when they come to so called $7 gap payment. Even putting words into the mouths of Whitlam and Hawke to back up his claims

    Trouble is, they never said what he claimed.

    Abbott needs to learn, he is there to govern for the people, not big business

  8. I would like to say that I have ‘mostly’ followed this convo 🙂 ….. except for one thingy me whatsit 😮 ….. WHAT’S an Iron?? :/ ….. and what does one mean whence one says “ironing” :/ ??????? 😕 ….jest sayin’ 😉

  9. <

    Murdochs hired criminal Bolt had his big moan about Gough Whitlam bringing ….. wait for it ….. Racial Discrimination laws.

    All published here today in Queensland in the American Murdoch's "The Idiots Mail".

  10. Rossleigh:

    Todays post have nearly sent me stark raving mad with gob smacking early onset dementia while rigor mortise is setting in.

    My mind cannot believe what my eyes are seeing.

    The old brain has skipped a beat and is radically overheating.

    I envisage a brain shower sometime soon.

    Nah! let’s just ditch one of the most important and critical growth industries while the price of coal crashes and renewables are embraced internationally.

    Nepotism reigns fee.

    We have become a country of thundering dunderhead idiots driven by wackos with no grasp on the real world.

    I have almost come to my wits end and am just short of causing irreparable harm to certain members of Team Insane Troglodyte Madhouse Effing Australia.

    There I did it I swore so things are not just bad they are really, really, really, really ad infinitum bad.

    Oh great and glorious Gombo when the hell does it all stop?

    I am living my worst political nightmare.

    Now there turning on Russia big time because the West is in such a horrible mess that, that is all that is left.

    These goons are scared shitless of the BRICs developing their own currency and undermining the US dollar and so they are in absolute panic mode.

    Third world war rhetoric?

    Ye God’s the right has turned out to be the greatest vile greed infested wrong of all time.

    Have no great affection for Putin but he is outplaying ya boys.

    Hint: Try sorting out the Middle East first, then your own economies including massive poverty and ever increasing inequality.

    I am literally and metaphorically knackered.

  11. It’s ‘funny’ how Abbott is so reluctant to put Australians in harm’s way regarding the pleas by the US and UK to send personnel to the west of Africa to aid the ebola crisis. But he is as mean as custard to send troops to the ME where they may be hurt, killed or screwed up with PTSD. And to risk the actions of local fanatics at home.

    I hope the upcoming (or is is ‘downcoming’?) VIC election results in the Libs conceding defeat at about 7pm on election evening – or earlier. And, when the final figures come in, the negative-swing is of such a colossal magnitude that it could not be explained by even the feds as a result of ‘local’ or ‘state’ issues alone. No doubt the state Libs would help the feds appreciate this point.

    Should this fantasy of mine come true Cap’n Crackers and Co. would be donning their brown underwear and dacks and the sight of this, revolting as it may be, would nevertheless be marvelous too.

    Ahem…

  12. Pyne is losing it. Confused gender observations “I want her to be Prime Minister for 10 years’….He was thinking of J. Bishop, but stated that he meant Tony Abbott.

    ‘Her’…….?

  13. LOVO, an iron is golfing implement. As in a number 5 iron. It’s used to hit a little ball around the course while taking a walk.

  14. To CMMC …….

    Pyne ‘lost it’ long ago.

    Was the ‘her’ …. really a slip of the tongue ?

    I wonder. !!

  15. Rob031 …….

    I heard that on the TV news last night – I think it was on both Ch 9 and the ABC …. where the UK and the US have ” requested ” help from us to go to West Africa – which is in fact a rather nice way of chiding us big time.

    I shrieked and clapped loudly …… to think we have been put ON THE MAT for our gross lack of assistance in the Ebola torn West African countries. …… It is outrageous, that we ( J. Bishop in fact ) …. can acknowledge proudly that we could ‘deal with it in OUR region’ …. ‘ we have plans in place etc ‘ …. yet cannot ” go the extra miles ” ( literally ) to West Africa or an area just outside of that — to send in doctors and nurses from this country – who are more than willing to go.

    We all know there is something seriously wrong with the whole of this current Government. What worries me is how far down will they get to, to be even further in the poo – with us and the rest of the world. ……. As a group, they are in serious need of psychological assistance.

    We just might find out more, when Morrison brings them all down in a screaming heap. From the 5 x 5 Labor newsletter this morning ( which many of you would have read but for those who haven’t ) :

    ____________________

    ………” This may come as a shock. Scott Morrison is not very popular, even among his colleagues.
    We now get report after report of him trying to take over the work of other Ministers, which they
    don’t seem to like. ….When asked in question time how his portfolio crossed over with Foreign Affairs,
    Defence, Agriculture, Health, Defence, Attorney-Generals and Prime Minister and Cabinet it wasn’t
    only our side of the chamber laughing at him.

    Bronwyn Bishop ruled he didn’t have to answer.” ( surprise, surprise ).

    ____________________

    So apparently it wasn’t only Labor laughing, but Liberals as well …. I did not see Question Time yesterday. … Did anyone here see it ?

    If he indeed is encroaching on others’ portfolios, that will cause a rift – hopefully one deep enough to divide the monsters, and have them crawling around blindly, searching for their dummy’s – er…. pacifiers !!!

    Which might – just might ….. bring about a good result.

    =======

  16. Pharmaceutical Benefits Advisory Committee has rejected subsidy for Hepatitis C treatment Sofosbuvir.

    Death sentence for thousands.

  17. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pyne, all gloss, glazes and giggles, clouds white powder when he sneezes.

  18. Corvus …..

    Um ! …. It’s the gloss, glaze and giggle that worries me a little ( – what he is or isn’t is not my business, kind of ) … and far be it for me to say or suggest whatever ????? 😉 LOL.

    It’s the clouds of white powder that’s perhaps a problem. hmmm …..Maybe he needs his adenoids done – to help a little ????

    His facial expressions are never handsome | nice | non-aggressive or kindly. A ginormously aggressive character is the Pyne.

    I dread the night that I might dream of the bloke ! ( heaven forbid ).

    ——-

    Yep – off topic I know, but seriously – that Pyne fella frightens the hell outta me. .. something definitely awry there !!

  19. He kept getting kicked out of class for disruptions until his mum took over as teacher.
    Now all the other kids get kicked out for picking on Precious.

  20. To CMMC and StephenTardrew. ……….. it all makes me sick to my stomach.

    Rejected subsidy for Hep C “Sofosbufir” treatment ….. ?? ( an utter disgrace ).

    ………… ” Health lobby Hepatitis Australia is warning that, without immediate government intervention, there will be a tidal wave of life-threatening liver disease as a result of hepatitis C infections. ”

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-17/hepatitis-c-drug-cure/5750904

    This article shows that the ABC is NOT — repeat NOT – siding with the extreme right wing crap that is currently running ( or rather – running down ) our country. ( I have several links that show that the so called MSM is not ALTOGETHER in the same ball park as the LNP – anymore !!! They may be obedient journos’ but among them there are just a few brains remaining. – I suggest ).

    ======

    Re : your link Stephen ………. which I have read.

    There will be some inane excuse and inexplicable ‘explanation’ from the Gov’mint, for their lack of interest, and their idiotic apathy toward this situation.

    The gross arrogance and ineptitude of this alleged Government, astounds me and I feel very much like turning my back on the whole situation and simply …… hoping for the best.

    That ‘ best ‘ MAY come because of Morrisons’ crazed ideas that he can dabble in – and even take over – – – – other ministerial portfolios in the LNP !

    I think I have mentioned it on another post. … If he continues with this almighty — all powerful push ( FFS ) …. it will cause a major rift in the LNP …. and that could be their undoing ( one can hope ). Which could lead to heaven knows what – election wise.

    After all – there is NO honor amongst thieves.

  21. Very funny | clever …. how amazing that ‘ HE ‘ managed to get his words out correctly without any ums, ahs’ and ers. ?

    Or is my hearing cactus, more than I thought it was ???? …. Did I miss something ? LOL.

    Maybe that’s the PM’s forte in reality – ……… RAP !!!

    Thanks for the laugh.

  22. Annie if he had said all them um ers and ahhs we would be still watching it, because it would of gone for twice as long, I watched a video awhile ago, and when they cut all them ums and ers etc out, what Rabbit the Hun said in real words would of only taken 30 seconds not 3 minutes lol he is such a time waster, what a leaner Abbott is wasting time any minute he gets 🙂

  23. Funny , Funny that rappin’ rhyme of G20 and Tony and the green stick man from wait awhile.

    Great humour from Rossleigh of Brisbane where the LNP is the Bane of everyday.

    Mincing Poodle Pyne is just a sordid piece of dogshit stuck to sole of Australia’s shoe, and he too shall pass like piss and wind.. Me thinks he would be stupid enough to piss upwind on a boat.

    Abbott and his rabble of Liarbral’s masquerading as leaders while awarding the stolen spoils of Australia’s fair go, equality to the corporate donors.

    Stephen Tardrew, erudite as usual and the fbomb is in time. The third world War began at the completion of the Second WW and is known as the war on the Environment.

    Who but the delusional and fbomb stupid will allow the planet’s biosphere to be trashed so that Human Life and all other sentient beings can not survive. that would Tony Abbott of course and his special(specious) band of donors and the brain dead electorate.

  24. re the IRON – in my daughter’s house I asked my grand-daughter to fetch the iron for me (doing some quilting and needed to press the blocks) and she responded ‘ what’s an iron?’ I informed her that it was something you ironed the clothes with. She then wanted to know that if that was an iron what was an ‘ironer’! I was reduced to silence. Needless to say my daughter, at that time, did not possess an iron.

  25. I cannot imagine anyone mourning the demise of the iron, no more than seeing the coal industry following in it’s wake.

  26. DanDark ….. um – er – ah – coff ….. I didn’t think of that ….. LOL.

    Words now fail me to begin to describe what kind of creature we have at the top of our political tree here. It LOOKS human ?

    But I wonder !! ….. I really do.

  27. Just had a thought. Abbott seems to see women standing at the ironing board for much of the week. I cannot imagine Margie ironing anymore than most do today. I suspect that the man has little idea of how his wife spends her day. Cannot imagine him around the house, as he seems to lead the life of a single man.

    I suspect our Tony sees the role of the housewife as he remembers his mother doing when he was a child.

    Could be wrong.

    I do not even believe that creature at the top of the tree looks human., Well does not walk like a human.

  28. Florence nee ……… Have often wondered why we don’t see more of little wifey …. Abbott’s missus Margie . ….. She doesn’t appear much, although I have no doubt she does do some good works ( most likely to the orders of her husband ). …. And is probably a very nice lady.

    I rather think he would use her – when and how he wished. On the very rare occasions she is seen ( newspapers / telecasts ) she is quiet and reserved, like a little mouse. That has always struck me forcibly.

    He definitely does seem to live the role of a single man. Perhaps he never quite left ( psychologically ) the seminary ?

    As for the way he walks – don’t let me get started on that !! It’s aggressive, delilberately pseudo macho and … um – reminds me of primates who beat their chests ? ( apologies to those beautiful silver back Mountain gorillas ).

    Enough said ……

  29. I find the wife different. I believe she would be a strong women, who takes no rubbish from our Tony. She has her own life, and could be very happy for it to be that way. She runs a community occasional day care. Has her own charity interest.

    She is studying to add to her teachers degree she was doing when she met her husband. Not sure whether she finishes her teachers degree.

    What she is doing now, she needs to continue I the job she holds. Labor ,improvements to childcare, means more have to be qualified. I expect that to be downgraded under this government,

    I wonder how many nights she spends at Kirribilli.

  30. Florence nee ….. Interesting info – tku — didn’t know that. …. Did think though she would have charity interests.

    …..

    Lee …… I agree with you.

    ……

    Florence nee ……. Perhaps she has at that. – – – She seems to be rather conspicuous by her absence.

  31. Vickie, reminded me of an old joke; “My family is in the iron and steel business, my mother ironed and my father stole”.

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