Do The Saints Keep Losing Because Jesus’ Father Didn’t Marry His Mum…

Image from thenewdaily.com.au (AAP photo)

Look I know that Essendon are the Bombers, but the Saints made a better headline and like the mainstream media I’m more concerned with sounding good than actually conveying accuracy in my headlines.

By the way, I loved the front page that I saw today: CHALMERS OFFENSIVE. I’m presuming that it was meant to be a play on the phrase “charm offensive” even though there’s no suggestion that the Treasurer is launching one. The paper managed to get easy with calling Dr Jim offensive without any link to what they’d written. Where’s “Mad As Hell” to use that one and say just a bit of fun, eh? The actual piece was about how abolishing the Stage 3 tax cuts was going to hit teachers, nurses and tradies. I could write a whole piece about how the Stage 3 tax cuts could be manipulated a bit so that, not only were they fairer, but they could be made less costly without abolishing them entirely. It’s interesting though, because the media is wildly speculating that Labor are “softening us up” for a change and then complaining bitterly about their broken promise… which mightn’t actually happen. Labor may actually mean it when they say that they intend to go ahead with them.

Whatever Labor end up doing, I’d like to suggest that while it’s good to keep promises, reassessing a situation closer to the time is always important. I’m sure that nobody would argue that Barry should keep his promise to drive his mum to church this Sunday even though it means dragging her out of the hospital where she’s on a respirator.

But before I got distracted by the whole tax cut thing, I was going to comment on that poor guy who lost his job because of his religious views, Now, if you read the original version of the Bible you may end up a wee bit confused…

No, not just because it was written in a foreign language…

Was it originally written in Hebrew, Latin or some other language?

Whatever, it certainly wasn’t written in English so there’s a whole range of things that may have been lost in translation.

Anyway, in case you haven’t followed the news, Andrew Thorburn was asked to resign from the job that he’d been given after an extensive search by Andrew himself, after which he concluded that the best person for the job was him. (Yes, yes, shades of Morrison, but stop interrupting and making me lose my train of thought!)

Andrew Thorburn has an impressive track record in the corporate world where he told the Banking Royal Commission that he had no idea what was going on and that dead people were being charged for financial advice that they weren’t receiving. In some cases, this was because they were dead, but as Mr Thorburn believes in life after death, he may not have seen it as a problem… unlike all the problems he acknowledged as problems even though he had no idea they were going on because he was just the CEO, so how could he be expected to know what was happening?

Let’s just pause a minute here and look at the way things are meant to work in a secular, inclusive society according to those outraged by Mr Thorburn’s sacking/resignation:

  • Nobody should exclude anyone from a job on the basis of their religion, unless the body doing the employing is religious itself, in which case they shouldn’t be forced to employ someone who doesn’t adhere to their values.
  • Nobody who’s religious should be excluded from a job based on the position of their religion on certain topics, even if that position is in direct conflict with some of the views of the organisation employing him, her or them.
  • Schools don’t open on Christmas Day, indicating a refusal to celebrate Christmas and all schools should be celebrating Christmas even if the teachers employed there have a religious objection.
  • Australia has the right to insist on certain values and people who don’t adhere to Australian values should go back to where they came from, even if their objection to the value is religious in nature.
  • If the people not adhering to Australian values happen to be non-migrants who are just doing things like calling January 26th Invasion day, then they should be sacked from any job they hold because they don’t appreciate how lucky they are, because if the British hadn’t invaded then it would have been the French and that would have been a bigger problem because most of us don’t speak French.

Peter Dutton thinks that Andrew Thorburn should be re-instated, and not just because Dan Andrews thought that removing him was a good idea. No, it’s like I said: religious institutions have the right to consider religious views when hiring and firing, but nobody else does.

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

7 Comments

  1. Okay, to give a practical example. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t accept blood products. If a Jehovah’s Witness’s doctor says, “The treatment for this is an infusion of a blood product,” and they replied, “It’s against my beliefs to accept blood products,” I’d say fine. If the doctor then asked them if they were happy being a burden on society, I would want to see that doctor reprimanded. If, however, a Jehovah’s Witness says, “This should be made illegal, because it’s against my religious beliefs.” I would say, “No, you’ve gone beyond your station.”
    I don’t agree with Andrew Thorburn’s beliefs and I believe it should have been put to him, “Okay, what will you do when Pride Round comes up?” and his answer should have determined his fate. I believe that Rugby Australia was right to sack Israel Folau.
    The greatest prat to emerge over this, however, has been Matthew Guy!

  2. Cool,Pete.Matty Guy,AKA ‘Lobster Boy” is clutching at any straw that will get him some notice,and is currently heading the Dutton turd in the race to eternal non entity.There’s something seriously amiss at Essendon to even have Thorburn anywhere near the club,or perhaps the trashing by a Royal Commission doesn’t count in their “values”Like the Liberal Party, they should disband and start again…preferably in another country.
    Rossleigh,the Saints are in shit street until the Vatican can be convinced of three(3) miracles that can be attributed to them.The first,I’d suggest, is to win a premiership, thereby negating the need for canonisation.

  3. Mr Thorburn was in the position of being top dog at two organisations. As such he would be expected to represent what each organisation stands for. The problem is that what the organisations stand for are diametrically opposed. As his bible tells him: “you can’t serve two masters”. Mr Thorburn chose his church. Fair enough. End of story.

  4. Sorry Rossleigh, conducting a small science experiment and also I feel the need to be a pedantic prick. I notice the pressures of deadlines weigh heavily, no time to re read what has been typed before posting.

    . . . “ in which case they shouldn’t be forced to empty someone who doesn’t adhere to their values.”

    Yes, I appreciate I should be complimenting your excellent communication skills and blah blah blah, but, as I mentioned, just felt a late afternoon urge to be a prick.

  5. The religion of thorburn ‘city on the hill’, like all hebrew bible based sects, has intolerance issues. These range from simple withholding information from non-members to verbal/physical harassment and violence.
    The activities of churches are all protected by the nebulous term ‘free exercise of religion’.
    How sad is essendon?
    They badger Hird till he accepts the coaching job and then give him a druggie, Mark Thomson of the geelong supplements. QED.
    Their next selection as the coach is the man in charge of the first group of obvious drug users.
    Now another selection ends up with a man, head of an intolerant religion, calling for tolerance.
    How the hell did thorburn get through an interview and get appointed?
    The best the bombers can do, is accept ‘mea culpa’ say the rosary and as penance relocate to Tassie or the NT and start again.

  6. For the record, the collection of (heavily edited and reinterpreted) selection of wriitings commonly known as The Bible, was originally written in a number of different languages, principally Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek. After generations of oral transmission in the case of the earlier sections.

    As for the Saints, they have still all the glory of having beaten Collingwood in a Grand Final by one point, that final score being gained after the siren. There is no greater achievement possible in Aussie football.

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