Interesting ABC story headline: ”Climate change costings a cause for concern as Coalition ups its attack on Labor’s commitments”
Now, I don’t know if you’ll think that I’m just being obsessed about semantics, but I do think that it’s a fair point to make. Labor’s policy aren’t ‘climate change costings”; they’re attempts to avoid climate change costings. The cost of climate change will be doing nothing about it.
I guess if I’m trying to be balanced like the ABC is meant to be, I’d write “so-called climate change” because that’s how Tony Abbott referred to it recently. However, it seems that the ABC has a strange idea about balance these days.
If the ABC ran the election debate, I suspect it’d go something like this:
Moderator: Mr Morrison, would you like to lead off by saying how well you’ve managed the economy?
Morrison: Thanks. We’ve done really well because we’ve paid off Labor’s debt and unemployment is practically zero and people who pay no income tax are entitled to their franking credits but Labor want to take that away and give it to people who don’t have a go.
Moderator: Now, Mr Shorten, how do you respond to the idea that Labor can’t manage the economy, control the borders or reward those who deserve it?
Shorten: Well, there’s quite a few issues there…
Moderator: We know, and that’s why you’re unpopular. Can you overcome all this and still run a positive campaign?
Shorten: Well, in response to the first issue…
Morrison: Hang on, he’s got two chances to respond. Where’s my next question?
Moderator: Sorry, Mr Morrison, um, so what’s your favourite colour?
Morrison: Thanks for the question. Blue is my favourite colour.
Moderator: it’s a lovely colour. Mr Shorten, how will you manage the shortfall in revenue without raising taxes and causing a recession?
Shorten: Well, we’ve announced all our intended tax changes and, if there’s a danger of a recession, should we be so obsessed with a Budget surplus?
Moderator: So you don’t think you can manage a surplus?
Shorten: That’s not what I said. But why is he getting questions like what’s your favourite colour and I’m getting grilled on my policies?
Moderator: Do you have something to hide?
Shorten: No, but his questions are easier.
Moderator: Ok, what’s Mr Morrison’s favourite colour?
Shorten: Blue!
Moderator: Aren’t you just copying the PM when you say that?
Shorten: Of course I am, it’s his favourite colour, after all.
Morrison: Can I just interject? I mean, Bill Shorten is basically getting a free run here and I’m very upset that the ABC isn’t giving me a chance to point out that Mr Shorten is trying to suggest that he knows my favourite colour when clearly he has no idea.
Shorten: You just said it was blue!
Moderator: Please don’t interrupt! You’ve had a fair go.
Morrison: Thank you. This is just typical of the Labor Party. They think they can dictate people’s favourite colour and…
Shorten: I’m just quoting what you said. Personally I don’t care what anyone’s favourite colour is. I think it’s a matter of personal taste and I don’t think it’s really an issue.
Moderator: I’ll give the last word to you Mr Morrison. What are the dangers of voting Labor?
Morrison: it’s simple really. Labor will take away the incentive to work by forcing everyone to drive electric cars and they’ll drive up energy prices by refusing to even consider nuclear power which we’re not considering, and it was a total beat-up to suggest such a thing and they throw retirees into the sea.
Moderator: Very clear. Thanks to both of you.
Next day: Headline would be: “Shorten Refuses To Talk About Economy And Demands People Stop Talking About Colour Issues”
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