“Beer?”
“No, I’m not drinking.”
“Yeah, these cost of living pressures are a real problem. I can’t see how Morrison can possibly win the election if the interest rates go up next week.”
“Now hang on mate, that’s not his fault. I had a long chat with my local member the other day when he gave me a bag full of goodies and asked if I had any questions?”
“And did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Have any questions?”
“No, I just thanked him for the bag because I thought it would seem ungrateful to ask him anything. I said something about how great it was that unemployment had reached the point where businesses were crying out for workers and he told me that it was both a good thing and a bad thing.”
“How so?”
“Well, he explained it all in great detail. His party is the party of small government and the low unemployment is a good thing because it’s a direct result of their economic plan where they stand back and do nothing and let the market sort it out, but it’s a bad thing because it puts upward pressure on wages and with rising inflation the last thing we want is wages to drive up costs.”
“But don’t people need higher wages to help with the higher prices?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the government’s problem. Or rather it’s not their job. Their job is to ensure that the economy runs smoothly and the best way of ensuring that it to ensure that business has the best conditions to prosper.”
“I see. So what are they going to do about inflation?”
“Well, nothing. Inflation’s not their fault so they can’t be worried about anything that’s not their fault. No, what the government needs to do is to step back and let the market sort it out.”
“I see. But then why do we need a government?”
“Well, to make sure that unions don’t run rampart and stop businesses from creating jobs. And to make sure that some companies get the odd bit of taxpayer money to help them continue to make money.”
“But if the government doesn’t believe in doing things why should it be giving businesses money?”
“That’s so they can thrive and benefit the country by creating jobs.”
“Right. But in the meantime, you’re not having a beer.”
“Exactly.”
“So, as I understand it: anything good that happens is because the government sat back and didn’t do anything because the economy benefits from small government, but anything bad that happens is because it was outside the government’s control.”
“Yep. Unless we’ve got a Labor government. They don’t believe in small government so when things go wrong under a Labor government it’s probably because of something they’ve done.”
“I see. And if there’s an interest rate rise next week…”
“It’s probably because the Reserve Bank is anticipating a Labor victory. But that’s not why I’m not drinking. The doctor told me that I have to lose fifteen kilos by the end of the year.”
“By the end of the year? But it’s still April.”
“So?”
“Well, you’ve committed to losing the weight by the end of the year.”
“Yeah?”
“Can’t you say that it’s enough to have a commitment and that you’ll look at different possible ways of getting there once you reach November and that there’s no need to deprive yourself now?”
“But that’s ridiculous. Surely I need to start now if I’m going to…”
“Well, how about if you just commit to it on two or three days a week?”
“Again, that’s…”
“But isn’t that what the Coalition’s doing about net zero. They’re committed to it but they don’t see any need to actually do anything because well, the commitment’s enough and anyway not all of them are committed so…”
“Fair point. I’ll keep drinking now and hope that something turns up by December. I mean there’s technological breakthroughs all the time.”
“Exactly.”
“Yeah, it’d be pretty silly to start now when anything might happen between now and December. You might as well get a jug and save the walk to the bar. I’ll get the next one!”
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