A very high source in the Liberal Party has told me that Bronwyn Bishop is considering her options and thinks that the Liberals may need her to stop the rot and the socialists… which are, after all, the same thing. Like all good journalists, I’m not going to reveal my source because apart from anything else he may sue me for alleging that he was high. Although the very idea that anyone could suggest that Bishop would improve the party’s problems would have to be on something.
Besides, there have been much more reasonable suggestions. Take Michael Kroger’s leak to The Australian that Tony Abbott was a possibility. When I say “leak”, it’s probably the wrong terminology because Kroger put his name to it and leaks are usually – like sources – anonymous. Of course, the difference is quite obvious. In the case of leaks, it’s because someone with access to important information has informed a journalist so that the information can be made public, while in the case of “sources close to” it’s because the story is largely made up, either by the person getting the free lunch or by the journalists themselves. The fact that Kroger has put his name to it suggests that he’s quite happy to be identified as the person who made the stupid suggestion of Tony Abbott. Perhaps he’s done so in the hope that people forget that he was a strategist in the 2018 Victorian election.
Cory Bernardi has ruled himself out because he left the Liberals when nobody was listening to him. As yet, he is still to do the same thing with his show on Sky but he’s definitely not in the running for the Senate vacancy left by the death of Jim Molan who was a patriot.
I know Jim Molan was a patriot because every single tribute to him said that. This sort of begs the question, aren’t Liberals usually patriots, and wasn’t there something more unique about him? I mean, when I’ve been asked to say a few words about a teacher leaving I tend to try and say something more than, “One thing about Barry was that he was a human being, I think we’d all agree on that, so good luck in your new role Barry where I’m sure you’ll continue to be the same human being we’ve all come to know and to accept for your human beingness…”
It seems that a much stronger contender than Abbott is Katherine Deves. Nothing says we’re listening to the electorate more than shoehorning in someone who failed to win a seat at the previous election… (Speaking of Senator Henderson, she’s blocked me on Twitter which I find strange because I’ve never commented on her tweets, but there you go.) Anyway, nominating Katherine Deves should please Alan Jones who said that the party needs to stand for something and, who cares if that something is someone whose main concern was the unfairness of transgender people playing women’s sport because it was dangerous. She was given a big tick by Scott Morrison who showed just how dangerous sport can be when he tackled a kid in a game of soccer.
The front-runner, however, is Dallas McInerney. He ticks all the boxes. He’s in the Party. He’s from NSW. He’s in the Right faction of the factionless Liberal Party. And most importantly, he’s male, so nobody can suggest that he’s just there to fill a quota and then he didn’t get there on merit.
Finally, a source has explained to me that the Liberals position on the Voice is very simple: They want it to go away, but because they can’t just delay it like they did when in government they have to find a way of keeping the racists in their party happy, without appearing to be pandering to them. So they’ve decided to adopt the strategy that worked so well with the Apology. Any day now Peter Dutton will announce that we weren’t the ones who didn’t set up the Voice in the Constitution so why should we be responsible for it when it wasn’t us and any Voice might set a precedent and we’d be held liable for all the things that our ancestors did. He’ll then say that – like the Apology – it’s just virtue signaling and that it won’t do anything to deliver practical solutions because there’s no obligation for Parliament to listen to it and that it would be better to listen to the First Nations people actually in Parliament like Jacinta Price because she opposes the Voice.
Oh, as far as the Senate vacancy goes, I can confirm that there is no truth to the rumour that Scott Morrison has already been secretly sworn in, taking on a role in both Houses.
At least, I think there’s no truth to it. I’d better check with David Hurley. You know, the Governor-General who people used to accuse of never doing anything. Little did we know how hard he was working, swearing in Scotty to a new ministry every second week!
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