Now just to explain. The road back to surplus is a bit like when the family gets in the car and goes on holiday. After a while, the kids will start to ask, “Are we there yet?” at which point, you just point out that the adults are back in charge and that we have a plan and our destination is a place called Surplus.
Ok, some of you in the back seat have been asking what we do when we get there, but it’s a long way off and we’ve got plenty of time to work that out after we get our Google Maps App working but the delay in the NBN means that we don’t have access to it at the moment. (I’d like to point out that the NBN delays are all down to Labor not spending money on fixing the copper wire, but that’s politics and we have more important things to discuss)
Of course, when Labor were behind the driver’s seat, they kept changing drivers and while we had a change of driver recently that was different because we didn’t do it because the driver was lost. We just did it because he wasn’t very good at explaining our route and kept confusing people by talking about boats when asked if we were going to stop for a toilet break.
On the subject of toilet breaks, we think that you should have gone before we left, so even if it is a long journey, the only people who’ll be able to ask for a break are those in the front seat, because, after all, if it wasn’t for those in the front seat, you people wouldn’t even have a back seat to sit in.
Just remember that we know what we’re doing and that if it seems to be taking longer than we said before we started driving that’s because we’ve decided to take a more scenic route and ensure that we don’t rush things because these things take time. Labor, as you remember promised to have us there by 2013, but we haven’t been as specific. All we’ve said is that we’ll have us there tomorrow. And we’ve consistently said tomorrow. And we’ll continue to say tomorrow.
The most important thing is to just sit back and enjoy the ride because there’s no quick way to get there. Helicopter rides are right out and we’re taking the best road possible even if we have to throw granny out of the car because she’s causing us to burn more fuel.
So stop asking, “Are we there yet?” and trying to suggest that we may be heading in the wrong direction. We’re not stuck in traffic, so we’re making great time and if we continue to make this sort of time, we’ll get there sooner even if we are headed south when we should be travelling north. The world is round. What goes down, must go up. Poor people don’t drive. You can’t live beyond your means. A stitch in time saves nine. A bird in the hand is liable to shit on you. Whatever.
Just don’t ask questions. We’re driving. We know where we’re going. We’ll let you know when we’re close. Stop asking when we’ll get there or I’ll get cross. I don’t want to have to stop the car, so just sit back and play, “I spy”.
Shit, a flat tyre. Labor never had to worry about things like that!
