The AIM Network

Ah, Now I Understand That Timmy Wilson And Me Are Part Of The Left…

Image from YouTube

The recent CPAC…

I guess I should pause here and explain that CPAC stands for something like Conservative People Against Change… No, that’s not it. Conservative Performers And Cu.. No, that’s not it either… Christ, Penises Are Compulsory. Nope.

I guess I could use the internet and look up what the initials actually mean…

Ah, it’s actually Conservative Political Action Conference… which is pretty ironic because they spent most of their time just talking about what needs to be done. Which, for conservatives is pretty close to action.

“We need to stand for something,” they say, although many of them said this while seated.

Hey, before you accuse me of hypocrisy, I’d like to point out that I have a standing desk. And that makes the typing even harder because I can’t see the keys when I’m sitting.

Speaking of hypocrisy, I saw something on the News.com.au website which used the word ‘hypocracisy” which is really hard to spell because it’s not actually a word and my computer kept trying to turn into the actual word they meant… I mean I know that Murdoch is too cheap for proof readers but, dear god, spell check is free!!

And soon they’ll have something about illiterate kids because the teachers in NSW are involved with discussions about better conditions… in Victoria, there’s grate moos becoz thu victoreun librills anowenst that fonnix will b tort in awl skools if they win guvment. That shood solv everything…

Anyway, one of the highlights of the conference…

Before I go on, I should point out that I didn’t go because it was:

  1. In Sydney
  2. Expensive
  3. Full of people that would have made me feel like I was teaching Year 8 on a Friday where every argument I put forward was just ignored because there is nobody who can argue with a Year 8 on Friday because every discussion will end with either “You can’t prove that!” or “Because I say so!”

Anyway. Tina McQueena… sorry, not Tina, Teena and not McQueena, McQueen. I always get Prude McSween, Tina Arena, Margaret Court Arena and Teena McQueen confused because of their close connection with reality.

Anyway, Teena McQueen, the Liberal vice-president, told the conference the she was happy that the previous election got rid of those “lefties” in the Liberal Party who were in Parliament.

At this point it became clear why some people consider me a “lefty” in spite of the fact that I’m a (relatively) privileged white male living in a middle class suburb with a mortgage I hope to pay off before interest rates make that impossible but more importantly before we make the peasant class so angry that they launch the revolution and I’m one of the first shot because I’ve become a landowner.

Whatever, it made me wonder who she meant. Josh “I love Maggie” Frydenberg? Tim “All the Way, with IPA” Wilson? Dave “I’m one of the intellectual ones so I can slum it on Twitter till they make me leader” Sharma.

And so, I must conclude that I am to the left of many of the people given media coverage even if I’m not planning to storm the Bastille any time soon. But if Timmy and Josh were considered the left by one of the Liberal powerbrokers it’s hard to be anything else.

 

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