Interviewer – Good afternoon, we were promised an interview with the Prime Minister, Mr Abbott, but unfortunately he’s had to cancel. In his place a spokesman, Polly Gist will be answering the question that we were intending to put to the PM.
Gist – Excuse me, but I don’t think that you can say that you were “promised” an interview by the Prime Minister.
Interviewer – No, we actually said “with” not “by”. We didn’t actually speak to Mr Abbott.
Gist – Because it’s important that the public isn’t misled about the actual situation. Mr Abbott is an extremely busy man and he wouldn’t go around promising interviews. He has more important things to do.
Interviewer – Such as fixing the Budget?
Gist – Yes, that’s his number one priority.
Interviewer – So about the broken promises in the Budget…
Gist – Let me just stop you there. What broken promises?
Interviewer – Well, you said that there’d be no new taxes…
Gist – And there aren’t.
Interviewer – What about the increase in the Fuel Excise?
Gist – That’s not a new tax.
Interviewer – It’s not?
Gist – No it’s an increase on an old tax.
Interview – Well, what about the levy on high income earners?
Gist – That’s not a new tax because it’s only temporary.
Interviewer – Wasn’t the Carbon Tax only temporary?
Gist – What’s your point?
Interviewer – Well, if the levy doesn’t count because it was temporary, why should the Carbon Tax?
Gist – Look, I’m here to answer questions, but if you’re just going to show your true colours by making speeches on behalf of the Labor Party.
Interviewer – I was just wondering if you could explain the difference between one temporary tax and another.
Gist – It’s simple. The Carbon Tax was A GREAT BIG TAX ON EVERYTHING and the levy on high income earners only affects a few. Besides it’s there to help our budget bottom line.
Interviewer – Doesn’t the Carbon Tax help the Budget bottom line?
Gist – No.
Interviewer – Why not?
Gist – Because it’s a tax on everything.
Interviewer – But the government collects it. Doesn’t it help to reduce the deficit?
Gist – Of course not.
Interviewer – Could you explain that?
Gist – I already have.
Interviewer – When?
Gist – Before.
Interviewer – Befpre? When?
Gist – When I said, “Of course not”.
Interviewer – That’s not an explanation.
Gist – Is that a question?
Interviewer – All right, moving on. Before the election, when Tony Abbott was Opposition Leader he made a number of commitments.
Gist – I don’t think that’s true.
Interviewer – You don’t think that he made a number of commitments.
Gist – No, I don’t think that Tony Abbott was ever Opposition Leader.
Interviewer – You’re denying Tony Abbott was ever Opposition Leader?
Gist – If he was it was definitely Labor’s fault so he can’t be held responsible for something that Labor did, can he?
Interviewer – As for the commitments he made…
Gist – Any commitments he made before he was Prime Minister don’t count.
Interviewer – Why not?
Gist – Well, he was doing a different job. When you change your job, you’re no longer responsible for what you used to do in your old job, are you?
Interviewer – Yes, but surely a politician is responsible for the commitments he makes before an election, isn’t he?
Gist – Only the one about getting the Budget back in the black.
Interviewer – So why did he make the others?
Gist – Labor lied about the Carbon Tax, you know.
Interviewer – Even if that’s true, what’s that got to do with your promises?
Gist – Labor created this mess, Labor created this mess. And they drowned a thousand asylum seekers.
Interviewer – That’s all we have time for.
Gist – But you haven’t even asked me to explain about how we didn’t cut funding to Health, Education or the ABC…
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