The question on Facebook was; “Do you know anyone with COVID-19?” And further reading gave every indication that the person behind the question was a conspiracy theorist.
I didn’t join in the conversation because, in my view, the initial response to any question should be good and thoughtful, and my mood wasn’t anywhere near considerate.
In any case there might be some theorists reading this and I couldn’t give a toss for any negative exchanges at the moment. I just want to tell you how I felt.
Why these people support theories (feelings) before facts is a process that I find unfathomable and it is very difficult to contend with those of inflexible opinion.
As I said, my mind at the time of reading this question was nowhere near calm and docile. It was more annoyance and frustration.
It’s rather like the death of a family member who has been ill for some time.
Even when the announcement of their death is made the suddenness envelops you and it still comes as a shock. So it was when l found out that my son had tested positive to the COVID-19 virus.
He immediately self-isolated. Having no idea where he might have picked it up his first thoughts were for his partner daughter and son who had visited a few days earlier. He was working from home and had, as he says, practices impeccable habits of hygiene.
We now had a wait over the weekend to find out if his partner and their talented and beautiful 10-year-old daughter were also infected.
The waiting itself is like a custodial, totality, excruciating sentence. Hour after hour ticks by as your thoughts imagine the worst. The tyranny of distance and a parental need to action is unbearable, overwhelming in its desire to help.
I hold hands with my wife as she too thinks the worst and I worry with unrelenting nervousness.
“Fuck you,” I think to myself, “you idiots of conspiracy theory.”
My son, at the time, is in hospital on oxygen.
I ring my own doctor and he has volumes of information. I tell him I have had the sniffles for a couple of days and he tells me to get tested. I do, and I’m negative. Results are taking too long though.
Then they came in for my grandchild and her mother. They are both positive and as parents and grandparents, we are isolated both in mind and body.
My son has returned home having escaped the pneumonia that besets he and I from time to time. It could have been fatal. I feel guilty for my powerlessness and my numerous worst thoughts of; “What if?”
A few more days pass and my son sends me a note containing words that make me think. They are short but long in thought. We are hopeful in time for a full recovery.
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My thoughts for the day
The knowledge that the one and only life we are living is but short should make it all the more precious.
Presenting facts to people who have reasoned by virtue of their feelings that they are right is totally fucked.
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