The AIM Network

Turnbull Solves Bullying By Writing To Every School Principal And Telling Them It Shouldn’t Be Happening!

You’ve got to hand it to people who’ve worked their way to the top in private industry…

Well, you don’t really have to do that, because if you don’t hand it to them, they’ll find some way to take it anyway…

But I digress. I was interested to see that Malcolm has decided to solve bullying in schools the same way he solved the energy “crisis”. You tell them that you’re in charge and that you’d like them to fix it. And if they don’t fix it, you’ll be cross.

That seemed to me to be the NEG in a nutshell. You remember the NEG? The National Energy Guarantee? Turnbull told us that he’d called all the parties together and after a jolly good lunch, he’s informed them that they better ensure that we have cheap, reliable energy sometime after the next election, or else. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you but when my mother said: “Or else!”, I was never game to find out what “or else” meant so I expect that the people sucking millions of dollars out of the system would be the same sort of men I was when I was a child. No, not greedy and spoilt. Geez. I meant, easily intimidated by an authority figure!

Whatever, I don’t understand energy or I’d have more of it, and I’d go to the gym at least once in my life.

I’m not concerned with the NEG at the moment, I’m more intrigued by the idea that Malcolm thinks that writing to the school principals about bullying is a good idea. I mean, does he imagine a scenario like this?

Principal (to his or her staff, after receiving the letter) – Fellow educators, I just received a letter from our illustrious leader. He thinks it would be a good idea if we made an effort to stop bullying.

Teacher 1 – Wow, what a great idea!

Teacher 2 – Yes, I never thought of doing anything about that poor boy who was being kicked by the older boys. I just thought it could be a learning experience for him. 

Principal – Not just that, but he wants to stop online bullying too.

Teacher 2 – How does he want us to to tackle that?

Principal – He’s got that all solved with the NBN. By the time, the nasty comments have uploaded, the child will be a grown-up and less vulnerable to the bullying. 

Teacher 3 – So are we getting extra training or support on how to do this?

Principal – Of course not. Surely now that you’ve been told to stop kids bullying other kids that should be enough.

Teacher 3 – Yes, of course, silly me. Just Malcolm saying it should be enough.

Teacher 4 – There’s something I don’t understand though.

Principal – Yes?

Teacher 4 – Well, given the fact that Turnbull thinks Michaelia Cash was justified in threatening to repeat rumours because she was being bullied by Doug Cameron, why doesn’t he just write to Bill Shorten and ask him to stop it.

Principal – Now, now, that’s asking me to make a political statement and we all know that principals are just here to make miracles happen when politicians decide that they should.

Teacher 4 – Oh yes, silly me. So it’s an assembly tomorrow where we tell the kids that henceforth, there’ll be no bullying. 

Principal – Not just that. I’ll be reading Mr Turnbull’s letter to them. That should be more than enough. I really don’t know why we haven’t thought of stopping bullying before. Thank goodness we have a man like Turnbull to show us the way!

Mm, yeah… Well, I could be wrong, but I think that the money spent on postage could have been better spent somehow…

Unless the idea is to improve Australia Post’s profit before selling it off.

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