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Tony Abbott puts his faith in an onion

I have been rummaging through articles at The AIMN looking for totally bizarre comments from Tony Abbott but I downed tools when I read this on the Prime Minister’s own web page (from a doorstop interview):

Prime Minister, how concerned are you about the problems in China and Greece, those economic problems spreading to Australia and specially the plunge in Chinese stock prices?

Prime Minister: Michael, look, the important thing to do is whatever we can to build a strong and prosperous economy locally, and again I get back the the Grocery Code of Conduct. This is about ensuring that we have the strongest possible local businesses. We have a great supermarket system. That rests on the shoulders of great local suppliers and this is about ensuring that we continue to have very strong local suppliers, best possible product at the best possible price so that we get the best possible deal for consumers – and if we do that we will avoid the problems that we see overseas.

Seriously, his response would have been more intelligent if he had just stood there with head trembling. (If the interviewer wanted an intelligent answer he would have certainly got one from AIMN author John Kelly).

I can’t believe he said that. Does he know it’s on his web site for all the world to see and mock? Maybe it’s there as a practical joke. Maybe someone in his office hates him.

I began to doubt if even here at The AIMN I could find something so utterly bizarre. So utterly out-of-this-world stupid.

But I carried on with the onerous task. Surely there had to be something to match this incompetence.

And there was! From Tony Abbott’s Environment was this gem:

Ever since I was old enough to understand the term, I have regarded myself as a conservationist.

As a child, I used to play in the gullies and creeks surrounding the Lane Cove National Park. I wasn’t as careful then as now about protecting fauna, such as the red-bellied black snake, but I loved the bush for its potential for adventure and sense of solitude.

In the valley behind our house, I first learnt to sleep under the stars. On canoeing trips, I learnt to read a map. On student bush walks, I developed a sense of direction.

What was so stupid or incompetent about that? Nothing on the surface of it, but it was when the author dissected it down that the true stupidity was revealed:

Reading a map on a river. In a canoe! Wow. What a life changing moment that must have been. It clearly made him an expert in the field on the environment.

No wonder people such as Andrew Bolt rate him more credible than most of the world’s scientists. Scientists spend at least three years studying at university to become knowledgeable in their field. Tony Abbott reads maps. While floating down a river. How could you doubt him? How could you doubt a person who has a sense of direction because he walked in the bush yet needs a map to paddle a canoe?

I think we’ve got some worries ahead of us. We could be handing the future of our environment over to a man who needs a map to paddle a canoe.

Or is basing our whole economic survival on an onion (which I hope has prominence in the Grocery Code of Conduct).

I must admit, our Prime Minister is a deep reservoir of knowledge.



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  1. Harquebus

    Tony Abbott again!
    Bill Shorten is no different. Blinded by the ideology of growth, talks nothing but bullshit and will be just as hopeless as our current Prime Minister.
    Should we trade the incompetent nincompoop that we criticize now for another who will be just as bad?

  2. Roswell

    Harquebus, I have written negative posts about Bill Shorten, but this is not one of them.

    This one is about Tony Abbott.

  3. jagman48

    Harquebus, a good track record of this. Bill Shorten only says things once. All he needs to do to be a better speaker.

  4. Figserello

    “I wasn’t as careful then as now about protecting fauna, such as the red-bellied black snake”

    Tony is a pathetic emotionally stunted and cruel child. He’s a grown man supposedly talking about valuing the Australian bush and has to get in the suggestion that he used to kill snakes. Big macho man!

  5. Harquebus

    I’ll take your word on that one Roswell. I’ve looked and can’t find.
    There is a plethora of anti Abbott articles on this site. Too many. Jus’ sayin’.

    Bill Shorten is a master of speaking while saying absolutely nothing.

  6. Rosemary (@RosemaryJ36)

    We do not want either leader to have unlimited control which is why it is important to have as many independents and Greens as possible elected next time.

  7. kerri

    Harquebus I totally agree with you on Shorten. He is not the man I want as PM so like in all those multiple choice exams at school and Uni you have to select by process of elimination. So Abbott v Shorten? Shorten wins on many women’s issues, education, climate change, welfare, unions and many other issues that involve those of us without a silver spoon. The Greens trump Shorten on asylum seekers, big C climate change, big W welfare, education and so on! The Independants all have their own worth and I mean that! Some of them are pretty screwy but on an issue they believe in will stand their ground to our benefit!
    Now as for negative posts about Abbott? Can any of us make a positive point? We need constant reminding of how abysmal Abbott is so when we look at Bill we remember the lesser of two evil and vote Green or Independant with preferences to Another Liberal Party (ALP) and last votes for the ever abysmal Abbott.

  8. Michael Taylor

    I see that the bloke in the black suit feels the need to hold an onion just because Tony is. Anyone not holding an onion must be a lefty.

  9. keerti

    Reservoir of knowledge? More likely a cavity filled with excrement!

  10. Harquebus

    I agree and also despise Bill Shorten. Being constantly reminded that Abbott is a tosser is not necessary. He does that all by himself every time his lips move in public and sometimes, even when they don’t.

    That must be why politicians stand up to speak and one never hears them fart. That would blow their brains out.

  11. Kyran

    There are so many aspects to this article. That our deer leader is a conversationalist certainly explains why he says things twice, I think. Twice, I think. His early development of a sense of direction quite likely explains his appreciation of solitude. Not that he would have got lost (often). It also explains many of his current ‘attributes’. Obviously, his sense of adventure has not been dampened by anything life affords us mere mortals – wisdom, maturity and so many other tiresome traits.
    At the risk of sounding pedantic, I think it was a creek he was in, not a river. I’m off now to seek a map, which I should rightly source from the 1950’s, with the purpose of assisting our deer leader. I think I know the name of the creek. It shouldn’t be too hard to locate the spot where he lost the paddle. Thank you for the inspiration, Roswell. Take care

  12. eli nes

    The rabbutt has an onion approach: layers of lies. The new or versions of the successful. hiding the old. All supported by murdoch and the morning shows. Like this morning where semi-serious Karl’s throw ins to maurie, on little billy, were delivered with pure ‘bolts’ highlighting that the images of the leaders are set by karl and koch both of whom rarely present ‘evidence’ and, almost, never ‘balance’. One leader talks with karl baby but avoids lisa and koch(who have asked awkward questions) the other avoids all three.
    Balance is becoming rare, even on the ABC, because it requires the audience to think and remember the previous point of view. The skill of using your brain to understand the conflicts of interest that drive the media or to apply a critical eye to opinion is becoming rare to the intelligent 50% and the rest take the opinions of 7 and 9 and, more recently, the drum and the project, at face value
    To my bias, in 2010 the media made a ratings decision and, despite the obvious difference in communication skills and application that were obvious at every interview, they began a campaign to deify one leader and demonise the other. The pro/con movement gathered such negative momentum that no gillard success or abbutt gaffe affected the status quo. The fervour of abbuttian shouts screaming how the woman had transgressed and must go won and go she did albeit with strength and dignity.

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