“Beer?”
“Thanks”
“So what you been up to this week?”
“I went on a march to support the No Campaign.”
“Really, why?”
“Look there’s no need to attack me just because I don’t support apartheid in Australia and I want to stop aboriginals being given my house.”
“I wasn’t attacking you, I just wondered why you were marching when you’ve never been political before.”
“Yeah, well, most political causes rely on you knowing what you’re talking about and some smart-arse will tie you up in knots, but this time it’s great because the whole case behind No is about knowing nothing. They said: “If you don’t know, vote No!” and I thought that sounds like me, so…”
“I just worry that some of the people who were telling us to us to “do our own research” during the pandemic are now telling us that we shouldn’t do any and just vote accordingly…”
“Look mate, there were a whole range of different people marching. Men, women, black, white, old, young. There were all sorts.”
“Nazis?”
“Yeah, like I said, there were all sorts.”
“It doesn’t worry you that you’re on the same side as the Nazis?”
“Why should it? I mean we didn’t invite them and if they choose to come and march with us, why can’t they. It’s a free country.”
“Yeah but doesn’t it worry you that you’re on the same side as them.”
“Nah, you got that wrong. It’s them who are on the same side as us. We don’t support their views, they just happen to support ours.”
“I don’t really see the difference.”
“Look, if someone’s walking down the road and you start going in the same direction, then you’re following them, but if you start walking before they do, then it’s them that’s following you…”
“Yeah but if you’re both going in the same direction, isn’t that a worry?”
“Nah, why should it be?”
“Well, if you don’t wonder why you’re both going to the same place… I mean, it’d worry me if I was in a group and I found that we were all going to line up to get tickets to a Rolf Harris tribute band…”
“Is there a Rolf Harris tribute band?”
“No I was just… Anyway, let’s change the subject. Did you hear that Tony Abbott’s been appointed to the News Corp board?”
“Yeah, great move. Whether you agree with him or not, he’s a man who always says what he thinks. He was one of the few leaders to tell us that this climate change stuff is all crap.”
“But he said he didn’t say that!”
“Well, he had to say that to get elected, didn’t he?”
“You just said that he was a man who always says what he thinks and now…”
“You can’t always say what you think when you’re in politics, but I always knew what he was thinking.”
“I never he knew when he was thinking.”
“Ha ha. No Tony was one of those who really stuck it to the inner-city elites who keep trying to tell us what to do.”
“How exactly?”
“Well, by becoming Prime Minister and pissing them all off by stopping all that politically correct, cancel culture nonsense.”
“And then the Liberal Party cancelled him, followed by his own electorate.”
“Yeah, that’s the trouble: people don’t know what’s good for them.”
“So they should be told what to do?”
“Yeah!”
“But not by inner city elites. I see.”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“Look people get sick of being told what to do by people who think that they’re superior. Take Sam Newman. All he said was that people should boo the welcome to country and all these virtue signallers said that he was an old fart who’s had too much botox and it’s gone to his brain. I mean who are they to tell Sam what to do. He’s got as much right as anyone to come out and tell people to boo. That’s the trouble with the country today people who think that they’re always right and feel that they should be able to dictate to others and I don’t think that it should be allowed!”
“But you’re just contradicting yourself. It’s like all those people who complained that Russell Brand is innocent until proven guilty and that they know that all the people making accusations are part of some giant conspiracy.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, if Brand has the right to the presumption of innocence, don’t his accusers have the same right?”
“No!”
“Why not?”
“Because they’re probably guilty.”
“But… Never mind. Do you want another beer?”
“Nah, I better be getting back to work. I’ve got an opinion piece to write on how schools are dumbing down the curriculum and making our kids stupider.”
“Ah, are you for or against?”
“Against. How could anyone be in favour of people being dumber?”
“Yeah, I wonder that myself sometimes.”
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