Most people I know loved the film “Billy Elliot” but I must confess that I found it all a bit twee…

Look, I love art and dancing and someone pursuing their own fucking path and all that jazz. I mean, if you knew my life story which I’m quite prepared to tell anyone over a dozen drinks or so but…

Anyway, there’s this scene where the father is heading towards the factory even though the miners are on strike. His friends run after him and stop him, but he explains that his son needs the money for dancing lessons and so they don’t beat him to death and understand…

Ok, it’s a while since I watched it and all I remember is the total disbelief I had about the scene which I can express with the following dialogue which didn’t happen in the film but it’s what I inferred:

“Dancing lessons? Oh, eh, well that’s something important… Our kids just want shoes and food and a roof over their heads but dancing lessons, well… it’s ok to be a scab for that!”

Which, of course, brings me to the fundamental problem of the moment.

Labor has historically been a party of the union movement and, as such, has a very hostile view to those breaking ranks and crossing the floor. Labor has, historically, been a party of the left. Labor has been…

Let’s try and talk about the present for a moment and think ahead…

But first let me establish my credentials as a Labor person…

… Yep, after considerable thought, I have none. I have absolutely no qualifications to speak on the internal machinations of the Labor Party, which makes me wonder why I wasn’t asked to be a guest on “Insiders” this week. I mean, surely Sam Maiden is entitled to long service leave or something…

On a side note, has anyone in the media actually pointed out that while the Liberals are saying the John Setka is telling Labor what to do, Albanese actually compaigned to have Setka expelled leading to the union boss resigning from Labor? No, how strange… Look, I’m not trying to be an apologist for Labor here… I never realised that I’d end up being considered left wing because Labor moved further to right than I did but that’s the way the world works…

So, with my lack of expertise in mind, I’d like to comment on Senator Payman’s decision to cross the floor.

Historically speaking, she’s made a choice that will lead to her expulsion…

Anyway, I keep getting back to this idea that left will decimate themselves if their opponents just keep throwing the right distraction out there… Of course when I say “right distraction” I meant it in terms of correct rather than as a political side, but it works both ways….

I suddenly have this feeling of deja vu, like I’ve written this before but I’ll move on…

While some will argue that Senator Payman should be applauded for taking a principled stance, others will argue that she should be expelled for crossing the floor because that’s the precedent and if we allow that hard and fast rule to be broken with no consequences then what’s to stop it being constantly broken in the future.

Whichever side you land on, you can see that it’s been a great distraction and whichever way Albanese goes, he’ll have some saying that he did the wrong thing. We’ll also have Peter Dutton arguing either that the PM is weak for not taking the sort of strong action that he doesn’t take every time Bridget Archer crosses the floor OR the PM is weak for giving in to the factions and expelling Senator Payman.

Perhaps the only way that Labor can get out of this one is by doing something so outrageous that everyone moves on to the next Big Thing and the media leave this alone to be a problem resolved by Labor without the glare of everyone being asked about it in every interview. After all that seemed to work for the Coalition over the past few years… and by past few years, I mean since Harold Holt went missing which stopped whatever else was in the news for the next few days.

I mean, Labor could say maybe we’ve been a little too hasty to dismiss Dutton’s nuclear idea so we’re appointing Ziggy Switkowski to investigate the economics of nuclear like he did a few years back, and to ask John Howard exactly why he banned it in the first place. That should take up a few thousand columns of Dutton expressing his outrage that anyone should actually investigate the feasibility of an idea that he developed on the back of a drink coaster…

But it doesn’t solve the Payman question and I guess that’s because there is no easy answer. Going against the tradition of caucus solidarity would be difficult for some Labor MPs, but expecting Payman not to cross the floor would be absurd. However, expelling her for crossing the floor when she was actually voting for something that’s Labor policy has a Catch-22 quality about it.

Whatever else, while I found the whole Billy Elliot crossing the picket line moment lacking in plausibility, I must say that when it comes to Senator Payman, she’s not talking about dancing lessons!