“Earlier this week, a Labor backbencher, Michelle Rowland, was denied a ‘pair’ in spite of having a sick child. We have in the studio, Mr War-on Inch explaining this decision. Good afternoon, Mr Inch”

“Good afternoon, I’d just like to point out that we have since given her the pair and now Ms Rowland is home where she should have been all along.”

“This is being used by the Labor Party to suggest that you’re out of touch when it comes to the needs of the working mother.”

“That’s just typical. Tony Abbott is introducing the Parental Leave (PPL) scheme to enable mothers to stay at home. And he has a wife and daughters, not to mention the fact that his mother was a woman. He certainly understands women far better than the PM.”

“So why didn’t you give her the pair earlier?”

“We didn’t know that her child was sick.”

“But she’s produced a letter where you talk of her child being unwell. before saying that the pair won’t be granted.”

“Yes, but she didn’t say ‘sick’. I mean, people in the workforce get sick leave, they don’t get unwell leave.”

“That seems to be splitting straws.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I think you’ll find the expression is ‘splitting hairs’. No-one says splitting straws.”

“But the point is surely that you should have given her the pair earlier in the week!”

“No the point is that she shouldn’t have waited until Thursday. She should have been home with her child and not even come to Parliament.”

“So you’d have given her a pair if she hadn’t turned up at all?”

“No, I’m just saying that it just shows what sort of parent she is. Leaving a sick child.”

“Surely she has an obligation to represent her electorate. I mean would you stay home if you had a sick child?”

“I’m not a mother!”

“That’s a matter of opinion …”