Just in time for Christmas . . .
By Richard O’Brien
With Christmas just around the corner, Commonwealth Toys ® has announced a new range of action figurines – the Political Leaders series.
Poor sales figures earlier in the year lead to the manufacturer issuing a recall of the Tony Abbott action figurine – which most children found disappointing no matter what outfit it was dressed it in.
Its replacement, the Malcolm Turnbull figurine, has resulted in much better sales. The Turnbull model’s primary feature is a 300 watt torch located in its posterior. While tests by No Choice Magazine found there was a significant risk of the torch dazzling children and temporarily blinding them to everything else that was going on, they also indicated that this effect was likely to fade with time.
Despite costing 15% more than other figurines in the range, all Turnbull models with principles have sold out. Instead all purchases of the Turnbull model now come with a free Warren Truss figurine – which doesn’t really do anything but helps complete the set.
Redesigned after the manufacturer discovered it was a choking hazard, the Bill Shorten figurine has proved less popular with children this year, despite now being made up of parts that are almost impossible for most children to swallow. The new design also incorporates greater joint articulation, allowing the figurine to fold more easily – making it compatible with the offshore detention series of accessories. Spine sold separately.
Made from recycled plastic, the Richard Di Natale figurine comes mounted on its own moral high ground. Popular with younger children the figurine has had considerably more success competing with the Shorten model than the Turnbull model – despite offering little in the way of new features and accessories.
Sales of the Clive Palmer figurine have continued to decline steadily – despite coming with a range of accessories including a model of the Titanic, a dinosaur park and the now defunct Gold Coast United Football Club – it is expected to be discontinued sometime next year.