The wonderful serendipity of the internet caused me to stumble across something I wrote or in February, 2017. (You can read the whole thing if you like by clicking on this link: The Future Is Different! If That Seems Obvious Then Why Are So Many Acting As Though It Isn’t!).

Anyway, remembering this was written in 2017 which was before 2019 where those with long memories will remember that Scott Morrison told us that Bill Shorten would destroy the weekend with his plan to have a 2030 target for EVs of fifty percent of new cars sold. Those with long memories will also remember that Mr Morrison assured us in 2022 that he said nothing against electric cars and that he was just against Labor’s policy of “forcing” everyone to have one by adopting a target of 50% electric vehicles at a date ten years into the future. In the 2017 piece I wrote:

Actually, I wonder if Tony and Malcolm and Scott had been alive a hundred years ago whether we’d have heard something like this:

“The horse and cart will be part of our transport mix for a long time to come. Some states are putting unrealistic targets on the number of automobiles and are suggesting that by 1930 we’ll have as much as fifty percent of our goods moved by truck. Let’s be clear we need a baseload system and you can’t go past the horse for that. While some people are complaining about the horseshit, we think that it’s important to remember that it’s a naturally occuring thing and good for plants, so how could it be damaging to anyone’s health? The fact remains that automobiles are currently much, much more expensive to run than horses and they are nowhere near as reliable. The idea that they’ll ever be produced in the sort of numbers that would bring their price down to where they’d be able to compete with horses is just a silly dream. Besides, it’s all right for those in the city, but once you venture into the country, where will you get the petrol from? It’s not like they’ll ever have a way of providing petrol outside the major cities like Sydney and Melbourne. No, we in the Liberal Party are committed to the horse and cart, while Labor are pushing transport costs higher with their suggestion that the new, expensive invention can provide a reliable means of transport.”

I must say that I’ve decided that I shouldn’t be writing satire. Instead I should be writing speeches and electoral material for the Liberal Party because I imagine that it’s a very well paid job. Ok, I might have to tone down the irony a bit, but if that’s too hard, I could always write David Littleproud’s speeches, or take over Vikki Campion’s column, unless the latter job comes with the requirement of marrying Barnaby.

Speaking of Ms. Campion, I notice that she was quoting “research” which suggested that wind farms could make bushfires worse because there’d be a “drying effect” downwind. While I’m not an expert in the field but, unlike Andrew Bolt, I actually have a tertiary degree even if it is in Arts with a Drama Major, I still feel that I am qualified to ask respectfully, “What the actual fuck is the person on?”. If someone has more expertise than me on the topic, I’d like to know how placing a wind turbine or two in front of a wind would create more a stronger wind behind the wind farm and whether that would lead to a significant drying of the bush.

Notwithstanding my objections to Peter Dutton’s world view, I am quite prepared to forego that if the price is right and offer a few thoughts for his attempt to pretend that the Coalition have actually developed an energy policy that will last longer than Liz Truss’s tenure as British PM once they were in government.

Liberal Energy Talking Points for Election: 

• Renewables need renewing whereas once we’ve used uranium in the nuclear plant we won’t be using it again.
• Wind farms will slow the wind which will make the planet hotter.
• While gas and coal can be taxed, we can’t tax the sun or wind, so there’ll be less money for things like hospitals and roads.
• The sun won’t last forever and once it goes, solar won’t work.

Mm, I hope Mr Dutton doesn’t see these and purloin them without giving me a job!