Ok, I tried to get an interview with one of the Federal Ministers who’ve been telling us that there’s no need to raise the amount that unemployed people are getting, but apparently they’re all too busy ensuring that people have jobs… Not everyone, mind you, just the people who are aspirational and having a go… Oh, and their mates, of course.
Eventually, after much ringing around, I was able to get an interview with someone who works for Centrelink. Yes, I know. It’s a sign of my privilege and contacts that I was able to actually speak to a Centrelink worker, but I’ve never tried to hide the fact that I’m an Anglo male, so I can do or say things that would get anyone else into trouble. The Centrelink person spoke on condition that I keep him (or her) anonymous and don’t expose any links he (or she) may have to any human living or dead. In fact, like any Centrelink worker, any resemblance with any real person is pure coincidence. For the purpose of this, we shall call him (or her), “Worker”.
Me: Now, a number of politicians have been suggesting that two thirds of people are on Newstart for less than a year. Is this true?
Worker: Yes.
Me: So, most people find a job within a year?
Worker: No, we just find a way to kick them off benefits by doing things like sending them Robodebt notices and while they’re on the phone waiting to sort that out, they usually miss a job interview so we can suspend their benefits.
Me: Are you admitting that Robodebt is just a scam to punish the unemployed?
Worker: Not at all. It’s a perfectly reasonable way of ensuring that welfare expenditure has been well-spent.
Me: But it’s totally flawed and it frequently targets people who don’t really owe the money.
Worker: Yes. What was your question?
Me: Is that fair?
Worker: No, of course not. I just told you it’s all about ensuring welfare expenditure is well-spent and spending it on the unemployed is really a bit of a waste.
Me: But you just admitted it wasn’t fair…
Worker: I don’t understand why you’re having trouble understanding that point. What’s fairness got to do with it? Are you a socialist or something?
Me: I’m just saying that it seems strange that you admit that it’s unfair when there have been suggestions that Robodebt letters have led to suicides and that nobody responsible seems to care…
Worker: That’s a shocking accusation!
Me: So how would you refute it?
Worker: Now, stop trying to verbal me. I said it was a shocking accusation, I never said that it wasn’t true.
Me: So you have no problem with the idea that the policies you implement are causing suicides?
Worker: Look, I’m just doing what I can to help the government get expenditure down so we can balance the budget. I don’t make policy. I just follow orders and if what I’m doing helps to reduce the number of unemployed then that should help reduce the bottom line.
Me: So how does what you’re doing help anyone get a job?
Worker: I never said it did. I just said it reduced the number of unemployed.
Me: Are you telling me that this is a deliberate policy to drive people to suicide?
Worker: That’s a shocking accusation!
Me: So you’re denying that you… Oh! Forget it.
Worker: Yes, that’s what most people end up saying!
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