How is this tangerine arse trumpet even in contention?

Cartoon by Alan Moir (moir.com.au)

George Washington’s last great experiment may get voluntarily flushed down a gold-plated toilet.

We Australians are all well accustomed to Americans, but they are not like you and me.

They don’t pronounce the ‘h’ in herb.

They call it gas but it’s a liquid.

Tuna fish. WTF? Cow mammal?

They live within walking distance of a school shooting.

Guns and Jesus. Jesus was a white American BTW.

The NRA.

Wealth = virtue.

More = better. Large, jumbo or Godzilla-size?

The last holdout of imperial measurements.

MM/DD/YY.

They don’t know what communism is but they know they don’t like it.

98 icecream flavours. Frothed chocolate chip cookie dough lattes. Marshmallow infused breakfast cereal.

The flag. Everywhere.

The World Series (sic).

The widespread deployment of middle initials.

Child beauty pageants. Ew!

Visiting foreign countries wherein to search out Starbucks and McDonalds.

The electoral college.

“Thank you for your service.”

Joe Exotic.

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Bobert. Wonton killings, gazpacho police, peach tree dishes, Jewish space lasers and hand jobs in movie theatres.

Their left-wing is right-wing and their right-wing is an amoral, swivel-eyed fever swamp of nasty idiocy (see previous point).

The USA comprises diverse citizenries but generalisations can be generally true. How else other than shared nationalistic quirks to explain the wide embrace of the grotesqueries of Trump, the MAGAe and the sewage farm that is the GOP?

“Because fuck you. We are ‘merkins. USA! USA! USA!”

Americans are so inculcated with American exceptionalism they think everyone else wants to be them. There’s no need to immerse oneself in American culture to recognise that they’re fervent subscribers to their own hand over heart jingoism. Ronald Reagan believed that to be born in America was to win life’s lottery, conveniently over-looking the vast disparities between the rich and the poor – the top 1% of households in the United States now hold 32.3% of the country’s wealth while the bottom 50% hold 2.6%.

John Steinbeck once observed that socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. But for too many the shiny, red Mustang in the double garage that symbolises the American dream has now become a rust-riddled, clapped out76 Ford-O-Matic Country Squire abandoned in a casino car park and <insert scapegoat of convenience> is to blame.

Innovation vs entrepreneurism is wherein they possess a robust belief that inventiveness is a distinctly American version of capitalism yet the industrial revolution was British, the first man in space was a Russian, it was German Nazis what got ’em to the moon, Alexander Graham Bell was a Scot as was John Logie Baird. Einstein and the automobile were incubated in Germany, the first known artificial form of refrigeration was demonstrated by William Cullen at the University of Glasgow, Michael Faraday was English, Nikola Tesla a Serb, Tim Berners-Lee an Englishman. You get the drift. What Americans excel at is claiming credit while making a buck in the process ala Thomas Edison. But they do cultivate a culture where creativity can thrive, imported or no, good or bad.

“The US ranks No. 1 in the world on research”, and highly for “literature, theatre, film, music and art”. It is heavily represented in the rankings of the world’s best universities yet “UNESCO reports adult literacy in the US at 86 per cent, while Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Canada, Ireland, France, Germany, Italy and Japan are at 99 per cent. (Barry Jones. The Saturday Paper).

The self-proclaimed beacon of democracy, occupying the moral high ground, was founded on the principle that privileged, rich men shouldn’t pay taxes.

The land of the free scores 83/100 on the U.S.-based non-governmental organization Freedom House’s world freedom index. (Australia scores 95/100.)

They confuse influence and power with character – might makes right, yet the more thoughtful are capable of introspection:

 

The Newsroom – America is not the greatest country in the world anymore

 

“The world’s greatest democracy could collapse due to a reality TV game show host, after one political party lost its sanity following the election of a black President.” (Unknown).

The personification of the country’s worst characteristics is a bloated, deluded, flatulent, big noting, grifting, lying, cheating, sexual predator and vulgarian. This despot-fawning lickspittle, a convicted felon, a treasonous spiv, an orange-stuccoed fraud at the pointy end of his feculent spawn’s crime spree is a viable contender for the most influential role on the planet.

To commemorate Independence Day 2024 this faithless Republican nominee for POTUS went on air to tout his $59.99 God Bless the USA Bible™ (free copy of the constitution included. He has read neither).

“When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a Bible.” (Attributed to Sinclair Lewis).

Whether bloviating to a tawdry arriviste audience and their duck-lipped, silicon-titted trophy shags at his Kitsch-O-Rama sur la mer golf motel/stolen document repository or playing his invisible accordion to an effluvium of grinning thralls and occupants of the upper right corner of the fuckwit quadrant he’s lauded by these fools to his last imbecilic gibberings.

He says he “wants to be able” to override the Constitution to “pick” when elections are held, he calls for televised military tribunals for his political opponents and the red-capped, bovine espousers of America as the best kind of democracy wave their placards and shit on their flag. The tangerine man knows boosterism is a vote winner. MAGA is where the USA is the greatest at everything should the woke, radical left anti-fascist fascist Marxists be excluded as they indulge in unfettered arson of what once was a nation they could be proud of. Ooohkay.

“The U.S will never be destroyed from the outside, if we lose our freedoms it’s because we have destroyed ourselves from with in.” (Abraham Lincoln).

Perhaps one double cheeseburger too many will have him drooling and shitting his pants in a sunny corner of the recreation room at the Rainbow’s End Assisted Living facility for Enfeebled Fucktards rather than wiping the fried chicken grease from his tiny fingers onto the Oval Office curtains once more.

I believe that a decent America will assign this crime magnate to the land fill bucket at history’s liposuction clinic. However, Trumpism may live on and that’s a whole other story.

 

A syphilitic gobshite, charlatan, rapist and traitor

 

WARNING: If you click the like icon or add a comment you will simply be encouraging my rantings.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer

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About Grumpy Geezer 103 Articles
Having been released from the constraints of the red in tooth and claw capitalist running dogs by retirement the grumpy one now expresses opinions that would have previously limited his career options. (The pseudonym is used simply to avoid familial arguments with Tory-voting kin.) A loathing of Tory politicians is supplemented by an equal disdain for bad language - the corporatese and the flim-flam of sales spruikers, marketers, spin doctors, bureaucrats and politicians. Red-penning the tosh from such types was an upside to having to work with them. The crankiness is offset by a love of motorbicycles, the occasional glass of claret too many and the sun glittering off a blue swell just down the road. Could possibly be identified from the ash down his shirtfront and the egg in his beard.

12 Comments

  1. Cutting sublime to the chase: MAGA & the GOP – ‘They confuse influence and power with character [confabulation and malice with reason and justice] – might makes right [no matter the cost]’ – The fanatical lunacy and immorality of American Republicanism.

  2. I think the voters will the right thing. That, however, means nothing if Electoral College members decide to flout the electorate’s wishes, and SCOTUS upholds their decision.

  3. It’s just another indication of an empire in decline – financially, socially and morally.

    The worrying aspect is that Trump supporters seem to know what sort of person Trump is but they simply don’t care.

    It’s a world where denialism seems rampant and conspiracists are everywhere so electing a proven contrarian political outsider is just a way for the powerless to lash out at “the establishment” they blame for their own personal problems, while the mega-wealthy see him as a way of securing or improving their privileged positions.

    Things will get ugly and a lot worse before they can get better.

  4. lt is a truth universally acknowledged that ” pride goeth before a fall” . The pride is ridiculous , the fall will be monumental . But the planet will experience the tsunami that follows , l don’t expect it to be pretty . A nation claims christianity for its own, but spurns christian ( or even human ) humility , charity and truth as primary values .

  5. Jeavons:

    The actual line is: Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Same difference.
    Even better when you read it in context. 😉
    (Proverbs16:18)

  6. The US is largely fucked and far from home. A failed state. Next stop autocracy. The Meat-headed States of America. It’s about time Austraya backed away, bigly.

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