Here’s ya hat, what’s ya hurry?
Skiddy leaves his mark
Full of shit and full of himself, Scooter has left the building.
His greatest contribution to Australian governance is his departure from it. A vacuous blowhard given to bovine slogans, a Pentecostal nutter convinced of celestial endorsement from a deity whose prosperity ethos luckily aligns with his own, yet he was also sufficiently self-aware as to disguise his odious actuality with his daggy dad artiface and endless photo-op dress-ups.
The ever-present, punchable smirk belied any of his claims to humility; rather it underlined his belief in his own devine exceptionalism – a would-be theocrat thwarted by secular reason:
“God’s kingdom will come. It is in his hands, we trust in Him. We don’t trust in governments.” (Preaching at the Victory Life Centre in Perth, 2022).
Following the electorate’s clear gag reflex at the notion of this disingenuous gobshite continuing to represent the values of our country the image of a now forlorn figure on the Opposition’s backbench nose-bleed seats ironically elicited some entirely undeserved empathy. Scrolling his phone hoping someone had returned his calls, his “if you’re good at your job, you’ll get a job” banality taking its time to manifest itself, he was due instead the forensic grilling by a no-nonsense Catherine Holmes at the Robodebt Royal Commission where he distinguished himself as a practised sophist and blame shifter. And, due also, the ignominy of his too-clever-by-half ‘secret ministries’ parliamentary censure – a loose equivalent to the impeachment of his orange BFF and fellow twatwaffle Dorito Donny.
History will record, and many will now recall his many failings – his cravenness and inaction in the face of adversity, his ducking of accountability, his claiming of the success of others, his malice and bullying, repurposing taxpayers’ money to cronies and right-wing supplicants – all manifestations of his lack of character.
A shrivelled, one-dimensional intellect, a light-weight incapable of reflection or forethought with underlying smarm and personality defects, mentored by a proselytizing grifter and informed by an eagle painting he was impervious to self-reflection – comfortable in the belief he was the Chosen One.
In his departing sermon presented as a valedictory speech he professed “faith in Jesus Christ, which gives me the faith to both forgive but also to be honest about my own failings and shortcomings” which he then failed to be honest about by neglecting to mention any.
Manifestly unsuited to the job he is a study in how megalomania, verbal diarrhea, treachery and happenstance can reward a shameless fabulist and serial failure.
A creationist’s literal belief in biblical fables and his related, rampaging case of gynophobia are the 2 standouts in his compendium of personality defects.
He was visibly confused by the notion that women are equal.
He referred to females, including ministers, by their 1st names, men by their titles.
He mansplained over the top of his senior minister Anne Ruston when she was asked about the Lib government’s treatment of women.
Women to him were packaging:
“1st party room as PM. B4 media came he requested all women MPs move seats & sit in front of him. As props. For the cameras. When media left, Scott’s men took their seats” (Julia Banks, former member for Chisholm).
Counsel for all things female, the eponymous “Jenny”, was required to alert him to the unacceptability of rape via reference to his own daughters.
“I’ve had plenty of mates who have asked me if they can be my special envoy to sort the issue out with Pamela Anderson” he told Gold Coast radio station Hot Tomato FM. Wink, snerk, guffaw, eh? eh? Imagine that pasty slug pawing a woman. No actually. Don’t do that.
He did get handsy with unsuspecting disaster victims, admitting to copping a quick feel as some sort of subliminal, evangelical healing process by his God’s emissary – himself.
Inanity and beyond was a feature of the slogan bogan – each facile declaration followed by the smirk as if he’d passed on an inspirational maxim. The restraint shown by not shooting women protesters is a standout for the clueless galoot as was his spittle-flecked tirade against Christine Holgate who had the audacity to be a strong female role model as chief postie.
Which brings me to his trademark malice and bullying:
“The pattern is that if you attack Scott Morrison… he will lash out and background against you in the most vicious of ways.” (Samantha Maiden, The Drum).
This godly man, this humble servant of a benevolent divinity was ever eager to punch down, to victimise, torment, ignore and defame. Toddlers, Kopika, and Tharnicaa, asylum seekers, grannies,the unemployed. If some died, they died – his conscience was clear.
The black hole of honesty (truth bends around him) cultivated a regime where rorting was not a crime but a credential. The open disdain he held for established and trusted institutions went beyond the traditional Tory aversion to acountability – his God’s will over-ruled any and all. Science? Evidence? Proof? Veracity? Phhht!
When he needed to step up he stepped out; when opportunity arose to show true leadership he hid behind the curtains. He was anti-anti-corruption, aesthetically unpleasant, duplicitous and wantonly cruel.
His loyalty is transactional – Brother Brian? Who? Brother Stuie? Who? His most valuable gofer was his photographer. His closest confidante fled for the exit as an integrity commission was coming to fruition.
He claims credit for two issues as stand-out big wins for his legacy – the response to Covid and the AUKUS pact. Let us remain mindful of the context:
Australia came through the worst of Covid better than most. This is not due to The Galoot who was tardy with vaccines – worsening lockdowns and blaming the premiers. He, and cherubic Rubbery Figures Frydenberg were dragged kicking and screaming by the premiers (and, FFS, Igor Mortis John Howard) to implement the JobKeeper initiative of Greg Combet and Sally McManus.
AUKUS cedes our residual sovereignty to the Americans for decades and for a brain-bleeding price. Delivery is on the never-never and we can be sure the Seppos will bill us for every one of their inevitable FUBARS.
It looked for too long a while that we’d never be rid of The Galoot – stuck like a clock spring on the soap. Now to be referred to in the past tense, his name should become a verb synonymous with opportunistic duplicity – “That car yard sold me a lemon. I was Morrisoned.”
“He departs the parliament having scarred democracy, diminished trust in government, creating a legacy of shallow politics and photo op policies, of raising the individual above the collective, of switching the story to fit the circumstances; of above all, advancing Scott Morrison.” (Amy Remeikis, The Guardian).
Worst ever PM. Fuck off!
References
As Scott Morrison leaves Parliament, where does he rank among Australian prime ministers? The New Daily
Decoding ScoMo: the hidden story and messages in his Pentecostal mashup. Crikey ($)
This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.
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Return to home pageGrumpy Geezer, this was such a joy to read – what a brilliant wordsmith you are, you are. What a beautiful wordsmith you are! This is the bestest.
Cheers Tess, and I’ll fanboy back at ya…
Ah, Grumpy. What would Morrison’s farewell be without your wonderful send off?
I loved the reference to bending truth around a black hole (where time stands still). Remember that the bending allows for the revealing of what is true behind the singularity. That black hole was Morrison and as per Hawking radiation, has evaporated and now time can move forward again.
Heyya Roswell!
Indeed. GG a beautifully stated send-off.
Having promised myself some time ago (after his move to the backbench), I’d no longer listen to anything the Black Hole had to say.
The closing vid was a brutal reminder. But I truly loved the caption “Worst ever PM. Fuck Off!”
Australia has an extradition treaty with the USA… right?
Mad maggoty misfit Morrison, the most childish, regressive, haemorrhoidal, inadequate egofixated brown dropping ever in the P M role… How??
And now the Costello meedja is trying to polish this towering turgid stench laden turd with pieces like the following:
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/what-the-haters-need-to-know-about-scott-morrison-20240227-p5f852.html
A perfect package of political analysis, chuckles and schadenfreude…marvellous, thank you!
thank you Mr Grumpy
Scotty assured us it was his God’s will that he become PM, others might hold that Scotty’s God was less than impressed and sicced the four horseman of the apocalypse on us.
The only five words any intelligent, compassionate and egalitarian Australian can find to say about Morrison’s welcomed resignation and ignominious exit from politics is this: “Good riddance to bad rubbish”!
Morrison will go down in history as an absolutely reprehensible, callously inhumane, totally corrupt, self-serving megalomaniacal sociopath! The fact that he tried to (surreptitiously) take over at least FIVE political portfolios in order to rule over us like some demented, third world dictator says SO MUCH about him and NONE of it good! Morrison ticks every box as a narcissistic, self-promoting, undemocratic fascist who was prepared to stoop to ANY low level – even if it was illegal – in order to satiate his obscene desire for absolute power at the expense of our democracy! Even his own colleagues despise him with the ex-NSW LNP Premier, Gladys Berejiklian, astutely describing Morrison as a “horrible horrible person who could NEVER be trusted!” When your OWN political colleagues (correctly) describe a member of their own political party in such derogatory terms, Australians should take note and see that as a RED FLAG WARNING that the backstabbing tyrant (so described) isn’t fit to run a bath let alone mismanage our nation into oblivion!
If THAT wasn’t bad enough, we have Morrison, an internationally-exposed pathological liar and signed-up member of the paedophile-protecting CULT of Hillsong – attempting (and failing) to hide his shocking level of backstabbing disloyalty, self-serving megalomania and callously inhumane contempt for the most vulnerable people in our community behind a transparent, layer of nauseating bible-thumping hypocrisy!
Just when we thought we couldn’t do worse than that judgemental hypocrite, the rusted-on misogynist: Phony Abbott, along comes the Mother and Father of ALL sanctimonious two-faced disingenuous “whited sepulchre”, the non-achieving, bone idle Sloth Morrison, a staggering, deeply unpopular, judgemental political psychopath! Can the LNP do worse? Well, NOW the LNP – totally bereft of ANYONE who has even the most basic levels of intelligence, compassion or foresight – a regime so deluded, so short-sighted and displaying such a horrendous contempt for any Australian who wasn’t a signed-up member of the Top 1% – having the GALL to prop up that callously inhumane, child-torturing political psychopath, Peter Dutton, as yet ANOTHER unspeakably corrupt, self-serving, elitist and totally inappropriate “prospective leader” of our nation! My God! The LNP have now deteriorated to the sewer level of depravity! The detestable entitlement displayed by just about every member of the LNP cabinet – at State and Federal levels – shows an almost insurmountable level of born-to-rule arrogance, a complete disregard for our democracy and a malevolent condescending contempt for working- and middle-class Australians! As such, it is our moral DUTY to keep these political psychopaths in the LNP in OPPOSITION indefinitely!
Best ever in my opinion Grumpy.
It was sickening to me,to watch those who knew better, following protocol by not being truthful about what they really thought.
The unlimited accurate objective description of arguably the only Prim Monster to be worse than Billy McMahon ….. without mentioning Scummo’s sins of Robodebt and the treasonous fivesecret ministeries. Well done GG!!!
Good one, GG. Those opening two paragraphs should be read out in Parliament.
“Scomo has left the building…”
I am looking forward to his Marketplace ads displaying his range of cosplay wear, hard-hats, sharkies crap, etc. The “garage sale op of a lifetime”
To the liarfromtheshire, from all of us here in reality.
” Goodbye, good riddance, and stat f….d off”
Good one mate,laid it on that c%$& nt beautifully.However the parliament remains only partially cleansed..we have an insulting remnant of incompetent fuckheads who behave as if the previous ten years never existed,led by lance corporal Voldemort, who has no memory of anything beyond his last desperate brain fart.Talentless,shameless and dumb,which describes most of our political cohort.
I can’t wait for his transfiguration! But then he probably doesn’t know what that is exactly otherwise he would have mentioned it in his valedictory self congratulating sermon with other biblical quotes he wrongly cited.
…and this blinding light came upon me, he had forked no lightning, everyone sighed, and someone from the back row declared, ‘Morrison has left the stage’. The applause was deafening, but not for the reason he and his acolytes who wanted to shake his hand, would believe
🤣
Jon,
In a world of happy outcomes, “…and this blinding light came upon me…” would have ended with, “…and then Scummo realised that he should not stepped into the middle of the oncoming traffic to look at the approaching light along with the sound of of an angelic horn…”
GL – Yes I see, on the road to Damascus. It must have blinded Scomo too.
PS Great mug shot, looking to see if anyone was at the door? God No!
I don’t know.
I feel as though I have just flagellated myself red-raw with one of those religious thingies, one of which Skiddy I am sure keeps for “special occasions”.
Making worse my sufferance for my sins in reading this reminder of our worst PM ever are the scrolling “Down With Labor” adverts that are in-my-face on this particular site in the lead-up to the byelection in my seat of Dunkley.
Please Labor, rewin the seat and allay this awful nauseousness I am feeling.
I hope his new job as a spy for the American military industrial complex does to that industry what his term as PM did to this country.
Well done, Grumpy.
But I just want to add one little detail. About Scotty and Covid. He was not too quick on that – or anything else, really. Medical people, especially pandemic specialists, knew so much more and worked so hard over years. Yet there are- and still are – so many ignoramuses who have no idea about what Covid is/was. Antivaxxers everywhere, specially in certain puffed-up media.
Jack sprat:
Boy that could be a heap of damage.
Still wonder how long the useless numpty would last among the cream of US political double-dealers, surely not long enough to cause much damage.
But some nice incentives for treason, sure…the awkward deal in exchange for a cosy post-politics sinecure with an international consulting firm best known for its work in the defence sector, American Global Strategies (AGS) led by founder Robert O’Brien, who moonlighted as National Security Advisor for U.S. President Donald Trump from 2019 to 2021, plus a strategic adviser role with awkward investor Dyne Maritime alongside former US Secretary of State and ex CIA Director, Mike Pompeo…
A great set of verbal images, Grumpy.
The only sad thing is: these words are true when we wish morrison’s stint, as a politician, was fiction