When I was in Grade 2 – as we called it in those days – I decided to count to a thousand in my head.
It took me from the start of the day until sometime in the middle of Playtime (Recess) because there were all these other tasks that I had to do as well because I didn’t take the teacher into my confidence and explain that I was counting to a thousand for reasons I don’t understand now but I presume that I had some reason… Like all those mundane tasks had some point even though I could do them and count in between the spelling test or the national anthem or whatever.
Anyway, I remember the epiphany when I got there. Now it’s just the same thing again until I get to two thousand and then three thousand and then…
I realised that I could count forever and not stop…
My school career, like the rest of my life, has been punctuated by moments of extreme stupidity and extreme cleverness which sometimes surprised my teachers and those around me because for a large part of it, I cruised. Of course, it was only when I surprised myself that anything meant something to me.
My life since school has had more trouble than I ever would have expected for someone with so much potential. God, I got sent to an elite private school for the latter part of my secondary education because my mother had faith in me – or maybe she just hoped that one of her offspring would be the person she knew she could have been in a different time.
In the midst of my darkest hours, I remember that not only did I develop empathy, but that I understood that I owed it to the whole human race to survive. Not just because I could but because every time that someone gives up, then the bastards get a little closer to winning.
I realised that I counted. And so does every single human who is worn down by the grinding machine that never seems to relent.
I realised that I could count forever and not stop…
We all count. Sometimes one is enough.
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