Cop 30 Climate Summit probable change of venue – CorporateHub, Hades
By Nicholas Beelzebub Lucifer
I was a bit disappointed not to be invited to Cop 29, the 2024 United Nations Climate Change Conference. But cheered up by the fact that anybody who’s really anybody is boycotting this fossil fuel financial talkfest anyway – Chinese President Xi Jinping, US President Joe Biden and, Indian Prime Minister Narendra. Heck, even little U.S. hanger-on Australia, is not sending their little man.
And, I can assure you, that even though uninvited, I have had an influence on these gatherings right from the start. International climate action began with the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) in 1992, but really, nothing substantial happened until the Kyoto Protocol in December 1997, when nations sort of agreed to cut their greenhouse gas emissions. I happily predicted that this was doomed to failure, with the USA refusing to sign up, with China not included, and emissions target reductions woefully inadequate. Meanwhile, the many Conferences of the Parties (COPs) held since 1995, have had the aim of reducing global warming, but with little effect.
My minions have worked on behalf of the polluting industries, and little Australia has been especially ingenious in appearing to support climate action, right from its original reluctance to sign and ratify Kyoto, through to its later ingenious use of carbon credits, to weaken climate action, despite its Kyoto and later Paris 2015 climate commitments.
But now it is time to take things into my own hands. So, while Brazil plan for COP 30 is a reasonable venue choice – (I’m happy that President Lula da Silva is boycotting COP 29) – well, it’s not adequate. COP 30 should be held in my capital – CorporateHub, Hades.
I’ve waited a long time since I was so unjustly expelled from my top position in that pompous smug country up above, that tries to boringly suck up souls. Indeed, since then, my goal has been to “go up and down, to and fro in the earth, seeking to destroy the souls of men.” I’ve had moderate success, with quite a few men. Women have been more difficult, but they shouldn’t count anyway. Indeed, if we can eliminate abortion, contraception, family planning etc, they’ll soon be put back in their place.
Mightily powerful and great as I am, I could use a bit of help from the human species. And now comes the time of opportunity. Not only is the USA President boycotting the current climate conference, but the President-elect, Donald Trump is strongly on my side on this climate matter(and on quite a few others!).
- again withdraw from the Paris agreement,
- end climate reporting and regulation, politicising Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) criteria and related climate policies,
- hinder the renewable energy transition by gutting Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act (IRA).
There are so many COP goals that interfere with mine, and with corporate interests – the main goal – cutting back to net zero greenhouse gas emissions is ridiculous and intolerable! Fortunately the big new thing, AI, just boundless energy, boundless fossil fuel emissions, and then radioactive emissions from nuclear power. Then there’s the absurdity of cutting back on water use and deforestation. Oh, it’s a good new era for me, and all my fellow fallen cherubim, and for all our devout corporate, political and media followers.
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3 comments
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Rob -
Canguro -
GL
Return to home pageRe Argentina, I clicked on the link to find what was the problem with financing. Apparently at COP29 in Baku, Argentina walked out when one of the UN-backed bloodsuckers suggested that countries consider a ‘solidarity levy on cryptocurrency to raise billions for climate action’. All that Bitcoin sitting in vaults doing nothing is too much for Team Leeches who see it as rightfully theirs.
Why not grab other people’s wealth to fund their skiing in Davos? Sounds like a good idea to them.
The devil has nothing on COP and their ‘green’ ideology. I wonder what Rosa Koire, author of ‘Behind the Green Mask, UN Agenda 21’ would say about the most recent COP talkfest. I’ll never know, she died in a war zone and we got ICLI.
Well, what to say? In defence of the principle of freedom of speech I suppose one can’t really complain about old Beelzebub popping up here and spruiking his position on the shit state that the planet’s in, and I guess you have to give him credit for his frank assessment of the state of play, vis-a-vis this cyclic charade where the COP members get together and have a sort of adults version of a kiddies fancy dress party where they do a panto act that pretends as if they’re concerned about the fact that the planet is heating up, inexorably, with a few phenomena showing up to awkwardly remind that things actually are, you know, going to shit – the troika of hurricanes, cyclones & typhoons blasting through cities, towns & communities, Ol’ Smokey, that firey bastard, burning down forests across the globe, along with a quite a few cities & towns, Send Her Down Hughie going into overdrive as well, flooding communities willy nilly wherever and whenever he gets sick of all that atmospheric aquatic overburden, so much of a pain in the arse to be hanging on to zillions of tonnes of water vapour for no good reason… just let it go, man, let it go… you’ll feel so much better for it, and fuck the terrestrial consequences… it’s not as if they weren’t told so don’t feel bad when you’ve flooded and destroyed billions of dollars worth of the little people’s infrastructure. Just think of it as God’s plan, a wake-up call to those who won’t listen. Eggs & omelettes, as it were.
Anyway, here we are, so much to say and so little to do; another COP copout under the belt, all that huffing and puffing about how the joint was overrun by fossil fuel lobbyists and backroom deals being done to tie up a few more lucrative oil contracts…jeez man, it’s Azerbaijan… what did you expect… it’s what we do. How naive those guys at the UN are… did they really believe we were in it for the planet.. big lolz 🙂
Cheers Beelzeey, nice to hear from you and I think you’re on the money, man, so, catch ya in Hades for the next round of toss the flamethrower and in the meantime, keep it burning, baby.
Nicholas Beelzebub Lucifer,
Do you really think you will be able to compete with the orange mad man and his coterie of rabid right wing nutcases at COP 30?