By Barddylbach
Would you celebrate ‘Earth Day’ after an invasion by Alien Boondoggles from Alpha Centauri who declared Earth Terra Nullius because we didn’t have any interstellar sailing ships, planetary engineers, psychohistorians, blue skin and we thought hermaphrodites were just exceptionally rare freaks and common snails?
Would you fire up the barbecue, drink boiling purple alcoholic hop extract, eat room temperature cloned prickly bogglers in cryogenic blue cheese that gave you chronic indigestion and smile gratefully because now you too could teleport to see your great great grandmother in Kakadu, providing you could afford the mortgage for your ticket?
And would you proudly fly the planetary flag of Proxima B under the third thumb of our colonial masters who declared Earth off limits to migrants from Little Britain (our genetic allies) and banged them up in an off-earth cavern on the moon under the tyrannical rule of remote island clangers who survived on supplies from Proxima B and not for re-sale cryogenic blue cheese?
I am sure you would be leaping over the moon not because you can, but you too could drink Proxima B purple alcoholic hop extract mixed with a little rum from your rusty still, thanks to a renegotiated Trans-Planetary Partnership Agreement that Little Britain had just banned as a load of nonsense because it disagreed with Cryogenic Added Tax (CAT) on exports, slavery and plasma proton articles.
And to your consternation you just found out that the head hermaphrodite was a half cast blue lizard tongue descendant of the honorary apostles Trumpelstiltskin and Malco Turbo 230 Alpha Moon Cycles ago, courtesy psychomedia coalition party corporate release from the Duttocide Border Force Empire.
The problem is no-one bothered to tell you what true blue Boondoggle values were before you signed up for citizenship on your own planet other than, if you didn’t agree with the date of V-Day (Earth Day) your Murdoch 6.2 global savings account would be hung drawn and quartered and re-distributed to the Turncrite aristocracy. You knew it was treason to disagree with the cause, so you kept your mouth shut while slamming another cloned prickly boggler in cryogenic blue cheese down your heaving throat, trying desperately to look like an ignorant white male sycophant.
And oh my god, you just heard the head hermaphrodite give his ‘Earth Day’ 69th Boondoogle citizen and celebration speech on your wrist powered iHolopad Galaxy and you thought no-one noticed you vomiting E-Coli infested Moreton Bay Bugs, and still you say ‘Earth Day’ is soulful magic and anything else said is heresy.
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Related links:
Australia Day – Invasion Day : Lessons from The Silk Road – The AIM Network, 23 January 2018 https://theaimn.com/australia-day-invasion-day-lessons-silk-road/
Proxima b will be our prime laboratory in the search for extraterrestrial life – The Guardian 25 August 2015
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/aug/24/proxima-b-will-be-our-prime-laboratory-in-the-search-for-extraterrestrial-life
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Bangbangboom – Poem by Barddylbach 2018 https://allpoetry.com/poem/13705951-Bangbangboom-by-Barddylbach
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