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Wonderful Humanitarians – The Altruism of Our New Coal Miners

“Coal is good for humanity, coal is good for prosperity, coal is an essential part of our economic future, here in Australia, and right around the world.”

Tony Abbott.

Now you’ve probably read something about the wonderful humanitarian efforts of Adani and Shenhua and their plans to create thousands of jobs with new coal mines. Of course, when I say “thousands” that’s at the upper estimate, so a more realistic estimate might be dozens of jobs by the time both mines are operational. Mainly in the PR industry.

But I can’t help but wonder what makes these companies so altruistic. Why start a big new coal mine when you could buy one? And when I say “you”, I’m not speaking generally, I mean you personally. If you don’t think you have the money I’ll lend it to you.

Actually, in fairness, I should say that we may have missed our chance because the mine I’m referring to was actually sold the other day. Price? $1. Maybe we could offer the new owners $2 and give them the chance to double their money in a week. The mine I’m referring to is Isaac Plains, so you can check that I’m not making it up by clicking the link.

But don’t worry there are plenty of other mines for sale. Just Google “coal mines for sale Australia” and you’ll see plenty.

Which makes the plans by Adani and Shenhua seem terribly generous. They’re going to all that trouble to set up a new mine when a mine like Isaac Plains – which a Japanese firm bought for $430 million in 2011 – can be snapped up for small change… literally. Those two companies must surely be just thinking of Australians and how they can help us out by starting a brand new mine in an industry which has about as much future as a buggy whip company. (Although “Fifty Shades of Grey” has led to a bit of a resurgence in those…)

I can see no other reason about from sheer altruism for them embarking on these projects. Although I am overlooking sheer incompetence.

I mean, Shehua Australia Holdings, for example, don’t seem all that good at financial management, filing its accounts late in 2014. And 2013. Mm, oh 2012 as well. But wait in 2011… nah, sorry, they were late then as well. Ok, anyone can be late. I mean, it’s not against the law. Oh, the Coorporations Act? Let’s not get technical. If it was good enough for the Abbott Government to break the law by releasing the Intergenerational Report late, it should be good enough for a company.

Univeristy of NSW lecturer, Jeff Knapp seems to think that Shenhua is pretty sloppy with their adherence to the rules, pointing out that they made a basic mistake in 2012 by including interest paid as cash paid to suppliers and employers in their financial report, but then he’s an academic, so what would he know. According to Knapp this a pretty basic mistake, but then he also thought that refusing to release tax details of millionaires for fear of kidnapping was pretty silly, so like all those interested in accounting, he clearly has an anti-Abbott agenda.

So let’s hear a big cheer for these two companies who are doing something out of the goodness of their hearts and not simply out for profit, like the wind and solar industries.

And as they’re not established industries – after all, clean coal is still in the development phase – perhaps we could get the Clean Energy Finance Coorporation to lend them some money, because they’ll have a pretty hard job getting it from a bank!

Gee, I hope that’s not another idea of mine that the Abbott Government steal.



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  1. Blinkyewok

    Let’s hope Abbott and Hockey don’t finance them, after all “coal is our future!” They can’t possibly be stupid enough to believe that; they are gambling with the future of their own kids as well as ours. Do they have a secret recipe for turning coal into food? More likely they have some radical idiotic plan to pump chemicals into the atmosphere to counteract the carbon emissions. Australia and North Korea have been listed as rogue states most likely to try some unilateral potentially disastrous scheme.

  2. Kaye Lee

    “perhaps we could get the Clean Energy Finance Corporation to lend them some money”

    No need…we have a $5 billion fund to help develop northern Australia that will build ports and rail lines and roads and anything else they may need.

    “The Minister for Finance could not rule out mining companies making use of these loans to fund the building of mine related infrastructure.”

  3. brickbob

    Coal is good for humanity will haunt Abbott for the rest of his miserable life.””””

  4. kerri

    Hockey and Abbott are not gambling with their kids futures?
    They will be swimming in inherited wealth!
    Don’t you worry about them!

  5. Peter F

    @brickbob “Coal is good for humanity will haunt Abbott for the rest of his miserable life.””””

    Let us hope that he doesn’t suffer long.

  6. Bronte ALLAN

    SACK TONY ABSCESS & SACK JOE WOBBLY!!! They are both flat earth, tea party, right wing, conservative idiots, especially bloody Abscess, after all, he is “our” Minister for Science” (??). I hope “coal is good for humanity” continues to bite him on the bum for the rest of his life, idiot!

  7. Anomander

    If Vegetarians eat vegetables – the term Humanitarians is apt for coal miners.

  8. Anomander

    What you’ve forgotten here Ross is that unlike renewables, which are not cost effective and need to be constantly subsidised – coal is a long established business that creates thousands of hundreds of trillions of jobs in mining alone – wait until I tell you about the tens of billions created in the wider community through industries associated with mining. I’ve heard that just mentioning the word “mining” in any business can cause revenue to triple and hundreds of jobs to be created in nearby suburbs.

    Mining revenue also feeds gazillions of dollars back into the economy, through the onerous taxes, levies and royalties imposed by ruthless state governments able to strong-arm the poor, helpless, hapless miners – propping-up those blood-sucking welfare sponges who should be out trying to find a good job working in the mines for $2 per day.

    In fact! If it wasn’t for mining Australia wouldn’t even have an economy at all, remember how all those unskilled workers abandoned their lazy-arse office jobs and scored honest jobs driving giant trucks? Well they managed to save us from the GFC, you know.

    I mean it’s not as if miners need any form of subsidies, they can do fine on their own without $41 billion worth of subsidies in 2015, as supposedly reported by the IMF, what would they know anyway? Everyone knows renewables are far more expensive than fossil fuels, just ask Tony or Alan.

    Nah, mining can stand firmly on it’s own two feet, unlike those inefficient solar panels and the horrible, unsightly wind turbines that make cause diseases, kill birds and make your head explode.

  9. Harquebus

    Mining companies can do without the subsidies but, political parties still want their donations.

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