In a nutshell, we have a Government who have hoisted us to the top of the international economic tree; who have delivered policies that will drive us into the future; and yet who trail the Opposition badly in the opinion polls. In nutshell number 2, we have a mainstream media who clamber over each other in telling us how incompetent this Government is while instilling in our minds that only Tony Abbott can deliver us from the burning fires of hell.
What if it were the other way around? What if the much-loved Tony Abbott (media loved, that is) had guided us through the global financial crisis (GFC) and safely out the other side; had a raft of policies on the table that held Australia high as a country willing to embrace social and political change, and yet were facing a wipe-out in the September election?
Not only would the Abbott Government be fighting for survival, but the media will be standing with them, shoulder to shoulder, fighting too. What would they be saying about the likely election result?
I’ve candidly put together a number of hypothetical examples. My responses might appear somewhat absurd, but it’s only absurdities that we’ve come to expect from our pathetic media. Let’s play along.
The falling dollar: The dollar is in free fall because the market is nervous about the prospect of Labor taking charge of the economy later this year. They don’t have a good history of economic management and the market is jittery in anticipation. Australian overseas travelers will also be hit hard. Forget those annual trips to Las Vegas taking in shows and shopping. Labor will ruin that for you. Forget too, the annual pilgrimage to Anzac Cove. Labor will ruin that planned holiday as well. Our dollar will sink into irrelevance.
The economy: Joe Hockey not only guided Australia through the Global Financial Crisis but his sound economic management has seen Australia receive AAA credit ratings from the world’s three major rating agencies. This is a first for our country. Nobody before him has been able to achieve this feat. He has also seen interest rates, the unemployment rate and inflation all fall below 5% at the one time. This has not been achieved in over 40 years. Euromoney awarded him with the prestigious Finance Minister of the Year in 2011. Australian voters want to award him with a seat on the Opposition benches.
If Labor win the election and Wayne Swan gets his hands on the savings of hard working Australians then we might become the next Cyprus. Best to keep your savings under the bed.
Refugee boats: How much longer can Julia Gillard promise to ‘stop the boats’ without laying a plan on the table? How much longer can she get away with calling asylum seekers ‘illegal immigrants’? She has been given a free license to scare and to lie and the average voter believes her. And the threat to tow them back to Indonesia could not only create an international incident, put put the lives of Navy personnel at risk.
Julia Gillard’s rudeness: Not even the holder of the highest office in the land commands her respect. Her disgraceful shouts of ‘he’ or ‘him’ when addressing Prime Minister Tony Abbott make one wonder that, given that her arrogance towards the Prime Minister is appalling, how must she then hold hard working Australians in lowly contempt. She’d think she’s even too good to kiss President Obama.
Foreign Affairs: In Julie Bishop Australia has a Foreign Minister we feel proud to represent us on the international stage. Can you imagine Bob Carr attempting dialogue with foreign governments and dignitaries as equally as commanding and gracious than Julie Bishop? Of course not. Do we want a Foreign Minister who just stares at people? One who couldn’t even find Indonesia on a map? One then, who would just stare at maps?
Interest rates: Home buyers have never had it so good under the Abbott Government. The last Labor Government presided over 11 successive increases. No wonder the market is jittery. Oh how easily people forget.
Infrastructure: There will be none. Simple.
Education: Shadow Minister Peter Garrett hasn’t asked one question to his counterpart, Christopher Pyne in two years. Does this display any ounce of interest in his portfolio? He is more interested in glaring at the Speaker or attempting to burst blood vessels in his neck than he is in education. His only comments on education have been to the adoring media that teachers are incompetent which he’ll fix by sacking 43,000 of them across Australia.
The Budget: Labor want to return to a surplus at the expense of jobs and infrastructure. Joe Hockey saved 230,000 Australian jobs with his gutsy move to spend money during the GFC and now Labor want to take those jobs back. Do we really need a surplus if it is going to cost jobs and services?
Those are a few reasons why Labor must not win the 2013 election.
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LMHO. You are a brilliant man MT.
Teddysea, I agree..brilliant. It has one shaking one’s head at how ridiculous things are, once you do a reverse scenario as Michael has done.
Give the man a drink. Teddy, what will it be?
Love it Migs. Exactly how it is with the Liars & their acolytes in the msm. A dark trip into the absurd.
I was thinking of tracking the AUD with the polls…. and seeing how the AUD drops when the likely hood of a change to the coalition gains momentum. Being in Europe and sending money home for the mortgage, I am very sensitive to the exchange rates. It seemed to me (just a feeling) that when Labor had leadership issues or a bad week in parliament (which increase the chances of a coalition government) that the AUD fell… which seems to be that the world thinks that a coalition government will make the AUD less attractive.
Bad for the country in the long run, but good for me and my mortgage.
Joni, I’m sensitive to the exchange rate too. Goodness, I want as many pounds in my pocket as can fit for when we catch up later in the year. The more money, the more beers. It’s simple economics. 😉
What happened to those sedition laws that Howard brought in. Shouldn’t they be used against the Murdoch press. He is clearly trying to bring down the Government of Australia for his own benefit.
Definitely ‘NO’…’never ever’…’dead and buried’…even ‘Lazarus with triple bypass’ could be elected based on this…:D
Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
Ha Ha very very witty 🙂
Just who are the ‘pollsters’ putting out all these negative polls ?????
And I wonder if we realise that a lot of Australians, voted the LP in twice and are now being told by all and sundry in the LNP and our MSM, that those ppl are all idiots! This might just have a hugely unexpected outcome! We can only hope.
Absolutely brilliant Michael!
This reversal highlights the sheer absurdity of the situation we currently find ourselves facing. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so serious.
Migs, great article, but I had real trouble when you got to the economy and started praising Hockey, I found myself involuntarily gaging at the thought of him in charge of the economy ;mrgreen:
But I did get your point 😀
Cheers 😀
A vote for Abbott is a vote wasted. Do you people even read whats in front of you?. Turn off the Murdoch TV / newspaper and actually READ whats going on. DO NOT LET THIS VERMIN INTO OUR LIVES.
Excellent article. Demonstrates how we have been let down by an idle media filling people’s heads with lies & misinformation.
Love it!! Thank you.
If there’s not a mole in the PM media unite I’ll go hee for…
Too witty for your average LNP voter I’m afraid.
Very funny witty sharp writing Michael about the sad truth of the actual situation.
To me, these polls seem outdated. I realise they factor in a moe, but they ring people with landlines from the phone book.
The only people I know who have landlines these days are my parents and in laws. Everyone my age and younger have either just a mobile, or voip. Both which don’t appear in the telephone directory.
The polls are usually in the ball park though, which makes me wonder, how much sway does the MSM have in convincing people of that opinion to begin with and how much herd mentality is involved in just following the crowd?
Brilliant and clever stuff!
I often consider, what it would be like if we could somehow peer into the the neighbouring parallel universe where the LNP formed a minority government at the last election, just so we could conduct a side-by-side comparison of our present situation versus the dystopian world those poor buggers would be enduring?
Hmmm… interesting concept for an article, methinks?
Bloody brilliant
6 record budget deficits despite over 200 times promising surplus, Education revolution Gonski, Business Tax Cuts backflip, 2 pay freezes in 6 years for low income workers while pollies double their wages, Debt up 500%, Unemployment up over 25%. I heard Australia used to have free public education. Nothing to see hear. Julia is magnificent. Go back to sleep Australia.
Nathan, I trust you notice how well the LNP states are doing under their slash and burn policies, yet are still chasing the elusive surplus. If you want to see backflips just check out the QLD government under Newman. – ‘You aint seen nuthin’ yet’
ROFL!
Nothing makes the whole lie stand out like the old proverbials, than a quick reversal, to see if the whole lot of the data balances. Nope, it doesn’t, and we know how much everything likes to balance out in reality.
Well done!
Nice Post, but you over-look that politics is a management system based on a popularity contest. lt does not matter if your management is `perfect` if you cannot maintain, or in Joolya`s case `attain` popularity.
Very amusing but I really don’t think facetious sarcasm helps the cause!
I couldn’t read this tripe in it’s entirety, but will admit there was one truth written here. It is absurd! Also ridiculous and when you paly with hypotheticals you can make anyone look like a fool, including the author of this rubbish and the rusted on sycophants that have applauded this work of fiction.
Jones you have no facts, no manners, no respect = no credibility.
Excellent.
Rofl. The Murdoch press. Yep, because only superior people like some here are capable of seeing the trvth, and everybody else is stupid. Anyone who buys the murdoch press is stupid, because they are unable to think for themselves and are FORCED to buy Murdoch newspapoers at gunpoint. Funny, same people who voted Krudd in a few years ago. But that’s OK, we don’t want them to vote because they are sheeple, and should surrender democracy to people who know what’s good for them. I smell the smug paternalism in the above posts from here.
Seems that some here are unable to process the idea thatPropaganda is an effective tool in the delusion of a population.
Perhaps old Joe won’t be forthcoming with a character reference now.
No, you’ve got it wrong. The media don’t love Tony Abbott. They (like the public) love Rudd.
At least three Liberal National states are in recession/deficit. Blame lies squarely at the feet of the Liberal Nationals.
Jace : No facts, no manners, no respect = no credibility.
Jace, and the tooth fairy will be around shortly to collect your brain cos you’re obviously not using it 🙁
The brain had holes in it and it fell out.