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Why Is The Pry Minister So Concerned About Our Cups?

“We are a free and fair nation. But that doesn’t mean we should let bad people play us for mugs, and all too often they have. Well, that’s going to stop!”

Tony Abbott’s Speech on Youtube 22/02/15

 

Of course, I’ve always been a little lateral – as opposed to a “bit seismic” like the our PM’s view of the Queensland election. But if we’re not going to play bad people for mugs, then what will the prize be when we take on the rest of the world in the cricket. It’s called the World Cup, and if we’re not playing for a cup, then what are we playing for? And if the people playing against us aren’t bad people, who are they? Because they’re clearly not playing for Team Australia!!

Although, I must admit recent displays by some of the English cricketers, does make me wonder…

Ok, I know that’s not what he means. He doesn’t mean that we’re competing for “mugs” as in a synonym for cup. He’s attempting to suggest that we shouldn’t allow bad people to take advantage of our better nature. That’s something that we should only allow good people to do.

After all, wasn’t that the problem with Julia’s terrible, terrible broken promise: She was a bad person. Not only that – she was a bad woman. And a member of the Labor Party, who only get elected when people forget all the bad things they’ve done like Medicare and compulsory superannuation and the NDIS. I don’t think that I’m being sexist by pointing out that she’s a woman. Because after all, it’s a fact. Just like it’s a fact that she’d bad because she’s a member of the Labor Party so her badness doesn’t come from the fact that she’s a woman. After all, the Liberals have women on their side too. Just look at their front bench.

Whereas, when Tony Abbott broke his promises, that was ok, because he’s a good person. A fact that Joe Hockey reminded us of just the other day.

“[Abbott’s] a good man. He’s a genuinely good human being,” said Jolly Joe.

So not only is he good, but he’s a good man. And a genuinely good human being. Which, apparently, is a distinction worth making. So therefore it’s ok if he plays us for mugs. Him being both a good man and a good human being. But when bad people do it, well, that’s just wrong.

And as Mr Abbott said about Syria, “This is a fight between baddies and baddies”.

Which makes me wonder why we haven’t decided to take unilateral action agains Syria and just send in our submarines, but I don’t have the same sophisticated world view as Mr Abbott. I tend to view things in shades of grey, and not just because of problems with my TV reception or because I live in hope that someone will ask me to write a terrible book that will earn ridiculous amounts of money in spite of the fact that it’s such tripe. (I’m referring to “Fifty Shades of Grey” here, in case I’m being too obscure.)

However, when he said, “It’s clear to me that for too long we have given those who might be a threat to our country the benefit of the doubt”, I immediately thought that we were about to hear him announce his resignation, or at the very least, the sacking of Peta Credlin.

When he continued, “There’s been the benefit of the doubt at our borders, the benefit of the doubt for residency, the benefit of the doubt for citizenship and the benefit of the doubt at Centrelink,” I thought the benefit of the doubt for residency was about concerns that he hadn’t renounced his British citizenship.

But then I realised. I started to put it all together.

 

There was bail

When there should’a been jail

There’s the benefit of the doubt at

Our Borders

There’s the benefit of the doubt at

For Residency

There’s the benefit of the doubt at

At Centrelink.

 

There was bail

when there should’a been been jail

But when I suggest we should all

Join Team Australia

Mainstream Media, they all

Try to nail ya.

 

Everyone now, one more time.

There was bail

when there should’a been been jail

There’s the benefit of the doubt

For the debt

There’s the benefit of the doubt

For Labor’s Mess

But No Benefit For Me

In the Press.

 

It was just an attempt to float a few lyrics for a song that he’s writing after his last one bombed so badly. You know, embed them in our heads so when he appears on Australian Idol or releases his new album, once his political career is over, we’ll think we like them just because they sound so familiar. I mean, even parts of this one worked for a while.

 

Stop the Boats

Stronger Borders

It’s a captain’s call

Take my orders

I’m the PM

And there’s no effin’ broken promises

So shut the f*ck up and I don’t care about the fact that the last line doesn’t scan or rhyme, I’m in charge now and it’s the strawberries*…

 

Yeah, well there is no “F” in broken promises, so I have to give him one.

*For those of you who missed it and don’t understand the strawberries reference, it’s really worth watching both Humphrey Bogart clips in this link.

11 comments

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  1. CMMC

    Credlin really should put more thought into these things, she has brainstorming sessions under the hair-dryer, I imagine.

    ‘Benefit of the doubt’?

    I am certain many Australians watched the P.M. today, giving his trademark awkward School Project – type talk. How many would have thought, or even said out loud ‘Well we’ve given YOU the benefit of the doubt, and you’re a dud.’

  2. roscoe

    it is off the subject, but one other thing that no one seems to be mentioning is the fact that the Navy can’t get enough crew for the six submarines we have now, so what will happen when they need crews for 12?

  3. Harquebus

    C’mon Rossleigh. Tony Abbott is so bad that anyone can do good job of bagging him and in this forum, you are only preaching to the converted. We all know that he is really, really bad. How about starting on some of his lieutenants? I regularly write to many politicians and journalists and will gladly pass along negative sentiments and jokes about them.
    Criticizing and humiliating Tony’s supporters into deserting him will give him what he deserves. A backbench position in opposition that will be a reminder to all Prime Ministerial wannabes about broken promises, arrogance and hubris.
    Joe Hockey doesn’t have to tell jokes to make people laugh. He is one.
    George Brandis is the only clown who doesn’t have to dress up.
    etc.
    Cheers.

  4. Kaye Lee

    Compare Tony reading his school project on death cults to Obama speaking to the students at Queensland University. Who sounds more sincere, genuine, articulate, smart, …..stop me now!

  5. Kaye Lee

    roscoe,

    By the time they are built, coastal dwellers will need them to get to the shops. Perhaps the people of Kiribati can live on them and run a shuttle service.

  6. John Fraser

    <

    I'm waiting for the drinks waiter Robb to do a trade deal with North Korea.

    2 JSF-35s for 1 Kim Un Jong sub.

    I know, I know …………. Australia will still lose out on the deal.

    But what deal has Abbott made that we haven't lost on ?

    "Stop the berries".

    "6 flag tony".

  7. Bilal

    There has been much speculation that this national security issue is being magnified as part of an attempt to increase support for his leadership among disaffected parliamentary backbenchers. Most of them voted against him in the attempted spill, even without anyone offering to replace him. He is in deep trouble and may not survive as PM for very much longer. The fear is that he is not playing directly to the broader Australian electorate, but rather to his Liberal Party colleagues. This would not have been a matter for great concern a few years ago, but now with the party infiltrated by US style Tea Party extremism, it could lead to unfortunate results.

    There is a whiff of burning Reichstags.

  8. Dandark

    I didnt watch the speech by the idiot today, it was 10 minutes of my life I wouldn’t of got back,
    had better things to do 🙂

    0 people killed by “terrorist” attacks in 2015
    14 women murdered as a result of domestic violence in 2015
    Why wasn’t the Minister for women on Q&A tonight to tell us what the gov are doing about
    the “terrorists” who commit these heinous crimes against women and their children on a daily basis
    The cost to society is 13 plus billion a year predicted to go up, the loss of these women to society cannot be measured in dollars,

    This Feral gov should be “dying of shame” as they have cut and slashed services to help victims of domestic violence, that’s maybe why The Minister for Women couldn’t front up to Q&A because he is a hypocrite when it comes to domestic violence, unless its a photo op with Rosie Batty like the other week when he was spruiking ” domestic violence” blah blah blah pfffftttt I
    In a week or so he has jumped from childcare to domestic violence to pedophiles and now back to terrorism
    Geeezuz give me strength to get through next week with this imbecile steering the sinking ship…

  9. Loz

    As far as I know Abbott has never been on Q&A and he knows if he did he would just go down like a lead balloon. Abbott treats the Australian people with contempt and I am sure it was a joke on women when he “knighted” himself Minister for Women and he probably winked at the time. This man is disgusting and why he is still the PM when most people cannot bare the sight of his face is disturbing.

  10. Wayne Turner

    Abbott projecting yet again..

  11. paul walter

    Shame that photo.. really, very urk.

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