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Why Alan Jones Deserves Another Chance… Or Two!

Now Alan Jones attracted a lot of outrage with his suggestion that he hoped that Scott Morrison would “shove a sock” down Jacinda Ardern’s throat. Of course, Alan had to apologise the next day because some people wilfully misinterpreted this literally when all he meant that Jacinda herself should “put a sock in it”…

Of course, this begs the question, why did he bring Scottie into if it was the NZ PM herself who was meant to place the offending sock in a place that was nonspecific in Jones’s apology? I mean, there’s a world of difference in Don Corleone saying that you should hold your tongue and him saying that he hopes that one of his henchmen rips out your tongue…

Mm, that analogy may be inappropriate because it suggests that Scottie is merely a puppet of Alan Jones who’ll do exactly as he’s told when we all know that our PM doesn’t take orders from Jones, even if Malcolm Turnbull thinks we should cut Morrison some slack because he has to operate in the real world. Yes, Malcolm is bitter and never misses a chance to remind us about Tony Abbott and his inability to do that. However, Turnbull was even nastier when went on to say about ScoMo, “He’s not a dictator or a president, he’s a prime minister, like I was.”  I didn’t actually think that Morrison was quite that wishy-washy, but when Turnbull says that he resembled him as a PM, it’s a pretty nasty assessment.

I mean, Scott Morrison has been getting on the front foot and actually doing positive things like ignoring the investigation into GetUp! which found that they weren’t a political party and announcing that he’d be doing something about them because they were hiding something and that they were “a wolf in wolf’s clothing”,.. Now I’d think that a wolf in wolf’s clothing is being pretty upfront about who they are, but I guess that’s why I’m not leader of the Liberal Party.

Anyway, this is about Alan Jones and climate change so I shouldn’t be distracted by things like Turnbull telling us that Liberal leaders can’t do anything about climate change because of the strong minority in the party opposing it. Yes, I guess one can infer that just leaves the weak majority who’d like to do something but you know how minorities dictate everything these days…

I shouldn’t even get distracted by the Deputy PM saying that the Pacific Islanders shouldn’t worry about climate change because they can always come here and pick fruit. I particularly shouldn’t get distracted by that comment because, when I try to imagine just what he meant by that, my head hurts in ways that make me wonder if this guy is the best the Nationals can do as leader, what would the worst look like? Before you say Barnaby Joyce, remember we could ask the same about him…

Anyway, let’s take Alan at his word and accept that he wasn’t trying to encourage our PM to assault the leader of New Zealand. I mean, after all, we know that Alan has a history of saying something that gets misunderstood. For example, he didn’t mean to incite the Cronulla riots when he read out texts like: “Come to Cronulla this weekend to take revenge. This Sunday every Aussie in the Shire get down to North Cronulla to support the Leb and wog bashing day …” He went on to caution people shouldn’t take the law into their own hands, so he wasn’t endorsing vigilante justice even if those Lebanese guys deserved it…

And when he said that Julia Gillard should be put in a chaff bag and thrown into the sea, he didn’t mean a literal chaff bag, any bag would have done. Of course, this did mean some ambiguity about the word “sacked”, when he suggested that Opera House chief, Louise Herron, should be sacked for refusing to acquiesce to his demands over a horse race.

And when one of Turnbull’s lawyers contacted him, the old rascal realised that calling Malcolm “a traitor to the nation” may have been open to misinterpretation.

Then, of course, was his comments last year when the leadership of Turnbull was under threat: “The n—– in the woodpile here, if one can use that expression – and I’m not going to yield to people who tell us that certain words in the language are forbidden – the person who’s playing hard to get is Mathias Cormann.”

Yes, Alan Jones deserves a second chance. We all make mistakes and say things that we don’t mean in the heat of the moment… It’s just that most of us don’t do it on radio because we don’t have our own sock jock show. Whoops, I meant shock jock.

So let’s be like Alan’s employers and forgive him so long as he promises that this is the last time, as well as promising that he really means it this time. If he doesn’t, I think that someone should show him the real meaning of “shock” and actually give him a literal one…

Oh, I just realised, that last statement could be misinterpreted and someone could think that I was advocating strapping electrodes on Jones and giving him electric shocks.

Whoops. Sorry, Alan. Hope that doesn’t happen.

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24 comments

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  1. Wat Tyler

    People should read ‘Jonestown’ by Chris Masters. All the fatuous claims Jones has made.
    He has represented Australia in all sporting codes. There are probably many other unknown achievements. Perhaps he also held the camera in the moon landing, snapping Armstrong with his brownie.
    What a scumbag he is.
    What an indictment of radio he is.
    What an indictment of AUSTRALIA he is.
    He’s stood in too many gutters waiting at the kerb.

  2. Josephus

    Never having heard the redneck nitwit spit his venom I wonder why anyone listens to him. Adern must feel flattered. Thugs demean only those that pose a threat.

  3. David Bruce

    Words are interesting in that once said they can’t easily be retracted. I guess that is why our spacesuit has two eyes, two ears and only one mouth?

  4. Kaye Lee

    The list of defamation cases, contempt of court, and tribunal rulings against Jones is astonishing and has gone on for decades.

    Last year….

    2018: Jones was successfully sued by members of the Wagner family after he accused them of being responsible for the deaths of 12 people during the 2010–11 Queensland floods following the collapse of a wall in a quarry they owned. Jones and the radio stations that broadcast him were ordered to pay $3.7 million in damages to the Wagner family.

    2018: Jones was sued by Jeff Parnell, a NSW government acoustic scientist, who was accused by Jones of altering an independent noise-monitoring report for a wind farm.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Jones_(radio_broadcaster)#Court_actions_and_tribunal_findings

  5. Vikingduk

    And when he said, in that London shithouse, get a load of this Aussie snag, unfortunately to a cop, he really was talking about the forthcoming barbq. And when he plagiarised, that good old parrot, well fuck, they was only words. And his hatred for women, well what’s a bitchy little queen to do, free speech only for fat white guys of the right political persuasions. Another example of all that is wrong in this society. Governments dictated to by a boorish bully, a bombastic bastard, a snivelling cowardly custard.

  6. New England Cocky

    Rossleigh, you appear to be suffering from a sever case of “tongue in cheek”.

    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2019/aug/17/alan-jones-told-he-will-be-sacked-if-he-makes-more-offensive-comments-on-radio?utm_term=RWRpdG9yaWFsX0d1YXJkaWFuVG9kYXlBVVMtMTkwODE4&utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GuardianTodayAUS&CMP=GTAU_email&fbclid=IwAR1DhBCiIpLgQ1glGRipgr1dpMP0NYk1Q-GAnL5A0YsybNThNxnM-z4OjEo

    @Wat Tyler: Actually he seems to prefer public toilets frequented by homosexuals seeking sexual gratification, according to media reports from those times in London and Bondi.

  7. Max Gross

    Boycott 2GB and Nine Network advertisers. And let them know it!

  8. whatever

    Yes, indeed. Jones is now part of the Costellofax media empire that includes the SMH. Will he now have a regular column at that once highly-respected newspaper?

  9. Kaye Lee

    Alan Jones has released a statement clarifying comments made on his program this morning:

    “There are many people who would relish the opportunity to misinterpret things that I have said as we have seen online this afternoon. Of course I would not wish any harm to Jacinda Ardern.

    This wilful misinterpretation distracts from my point that she was wrong about climate change and wrong about Australia’s contribution to carbon dioxide levels.”

    In 2011, the ACMA found that Jones had breached the commercial radio code of practice in his reporting of environmental issues. His reporting was found to lack accuracy and failed to allow other viewpoints to be heard.

    Then in 2012, after Jones claimed that “human beings produce 0.001 per cent of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere”, he was ordered by the ACMA to undergo factual accuracy training and employ a fact-checker.

    Meaning no offence whatsoever Alan, how about you shut yer ignorant gob.

  10. Terence Mills

    Have you noticed that with Jones his misogyny is always aimed at powerful, intelligent and
    articulate women ?

    Does he as an old gay man feel challenged by strong women ? Is that a thing ?

  11. paul walter

    The mistake with Jones came many years ago came when the broadcasting authority did not come down hard on him for Cash for Comments.
    Don’t forget he is not only a lewd rabble rouser, but corrupt like we cant believe.
    When you think about this, the ascendancy of Australian fascism begins here.

  12. Kaye Lee

    “OVER time I thought of Alan Jones as leading seven lives – not one of them his own. Read on and you will meet them all. There is the blokey, foul-mouthed ex-football coach; the courtly, non-swearing charmer of older women; the farmer’s (miner’s/union official’s/teacher’s) son; the thwarted prime minister; the ombudsman of Struggle Street; the Oxford orator; and the hidden homosexual, forever hunting for love among the twentysomethings.

    The masking of his homosexuality is a defining feature of the Jones persona. Jones’s apparent self-belief that, on the one hand, he is damaged and, on the other hand, special, goes a long way to explaining an unusual personality. It informs consistently curious behaviour, his private self frequently intruding on the public self.”

    https://www.smh.com.au/national/the-demons-that-drive-alan-jones-20061021-gdone7.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1

  13. Winifred Jeavons

    If a man (?) is highly paid to use words, we would expect that he is competent to do so, that is, he says what he means and he means what he says. He is condemned out o f his own mouth!

  14. Phil

    I would love to know the percentage of votes this creep and his fellow rancid right wing creeps who waffle on – on talk back radio, have on an election outcome.

  15. Kitty

    Not only is Jones a nasty bullying misogynist he is also a self confessed liar and cheat and a proud member of the IPA.

    💧
    Sleeping Giants Oz
    📣
    @slpng_giants_oz
    For those who missed the Alan Jones “confession” last night – a recap.
    Alan Jones admitted he has no hesitation & no conscience – he will lie and cheat to get what he wants.
    #Auspol cc @MSMWatchdog2013
    Jun 13, 2019
    https://twitter.com/slpng_giants_oz/status/1138989117159559168?s=20

    Institute of Public Affairs
    @TheIPA
    @AlanJones
    explains why he is a member of the Institute of Public Affairs, and why you should be too
    Jun 25, 2019
    https://twitter.com/TheIPA/status/1143389854895443968?s=20

  16. Henry Rodrigues

    I wonder if any of the commentators here remember when jonesy was coach of the Balmain Tigers, Benny Elias was captain and was asked why he, Benny, and another teammate, were cooling their dongers in buckets of ice after the game, replied that ‘coachie always loves a couple of cold ones after the game. Of course jonesy has moved on from that, to personally acquainting himself with the all the advantages and rich pickings of public toilets, here and in London, where there are better opportunities to indulge his particular needs and desires.

    Go on jonesy, I can’t wait for you sue me, you bastard.

  17. Lambert Simnel

    Still shaking with laughter at Kaye Lee’s, 4.15, knowing full well this is the last thing I should do.

    Shouldn’t laugh at a dark adder because it miserably crawls on its belly.

  18. johno

    So Jones is a climate scientist, ha effing ha. Not that one even needs to be an expert to see the obvious.

  19. wam

    Thanks, Rossleigh,
    It’s great to get out of the pool and have a giggle(I miss, lord and his thinks).

    ‘I was advocating strapping electrodes on Jones and giving him electric shocks.’
    What a delicious image. Could it be on the cards?
    It is probable that many of jones’ listeners and political backers are homophobes who believe homosexuality is a choice.
    Wonder if the conversion therapy still uses the pommie the electrodes and ‘picture’ process from Alan Turing day??
    There is evidence that therapy and god get together to effect a cure?
    ‘Rev. Ted Haggard, an evangelical pastor dismissed from his Colorado megachurch in a gay-sex scandal, had undergone three weeks of intense therapy and then reportedly concluded that he was “completely heterosexual.”

    ps Henry,
    Did Hopoate play for jones??

  20. JudithW

    Jones’ male privilege prevents him from comprehending the real depths of his misogynistic rants and how much it feels (to me as a woman) like he is inciting and condoning violence against women.

  21. Wayne Turner

    Stay classy Alan, said no one ever.

    The fact that the gutless ABC still gives this turd air time,from time to time, shows why the ABC has long ago gone down the drain. If the ABC had a spine and standards, after his previous inciting violence against women,they would NOT give him an airing. A disgrace.

    From inciting the Cronulla riots, inciting violence against a then sitting PM (Imagine the up roar if it was said my a muslim regarding a coalition PM.),to this.

    He’s a disgrace,that won’t change.

  22. Henry Rodrigues

    Wam…..I can’t recall if Hopoate ever played under jonesy but Hopoate probably would have chosen to let his wayward fingers play the leading role.

    The news that more advertisers are pulling out of sponsorship deals with Macquarie is pleasing and long overdue. But gap toothed Josh fried burger’s reluctant criticism of the parrot is deplorable. Don’t the coalition numbskulls ever understand what it means to be insulted by such an arsehole ?

  23. Matters Not

    Jones coached the Balmain Tigers. Never the West Tigers. Hopoate played for the West Tigers. Never the Balmain Tigers. It follows that …

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