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Who Fracking Tonight? And Other Great Hits By DJ ScoBroMo…

Ok, when somebody asks if I’ve got a fifty dollar bill followed by, “Put your hands up!”, it suggests to me that I’m about to be robbed.

Just in case this is a little unclear, you need to see the clip which Sco “The Bro” Mo tweeted. Of course, you can’t because Scottie put it up and Scottie took it down. It’s unclear whether he took it down because it was a clear breach of the guidelines for the use of Parliamentary clips or whether he took it down because people were worried that the later lyric of “Who fucking tonight?” may have Barnaby Joyce putting his hand in the air.

Of course it’s a shame that this should take away the momentum from all the achievements of the Morrison government. Just a few weeks after there were allegations of bullying, Scott has successfully put a stop to this. In the past few days, it’s been made very clear that we won’t have any more of these sorts of allegations. Nope. It wasn’t bullying, it was just the same sort of misunderstanding as someone asking you about your money and telling you to put your hands in the air. If you interpret that as a robbery and hand over your money, well, it’s hardly the robber’s fault. Similarly, standing in someone’s office and saying you won’t leave until they sign is the same sort of tactics that any good salesmen would use. Bullying, pah. And anyone who says that there was will be dealt with.

Speaking of bullying, did anyone find Pauline’s response to the nine year old confusing. She said that she’d like to give her “a kick up the backside”. Now I do realise that she was probably being metaphoric… Obviously, you can’t kick someone up the backside when they’re refusing to stand. However, while she was suggesting that the parents had put the child up to it, she was threatening to do (metaphoric) physical harm to the child, rather than the parents. She was telling us that the parents were brainwashing the child and her response was that the child should be thrown out of school. Was she suggesting that the girl would be better off being homeschooled?

Of course it’s been a week for contradictions. We just had Liberal MP, Ian Macdonald tell his colleagues not to send Peter Dutton to the High Court because: “A byelection in Dickson wouldn’t be easy, and could change the government six months before the Australian people go to a general election.” Strange. I thought that the legal advice was that there was definitely no need to send him to the High Court because he was completely in the clear and there was absolutely no doubt and that it would just be a “lawyers’ picnic”. Yet it seems that some Liberals are suggesting that they shouldn’t send him to the High Court because that might cause a byelection. But how could it when there’s no doubt that he doesn’t need to go?

But back to the achievements of the Morrison governments. They’re doing their bit to ensure more women in Parliament by endorsing a man for the seat of Wentworth. Ok, they preselected a man, but Scott Morrison, Peter Dutton and Malcolm Turnbull all seem to be working in unison to ensure that Kerryn Phelps, the female independent candidate, gets elected.

However, that’s not all the Liberals are doing to help get more women into Parliament. No, Helen Kroger has adopted their successful NEG strategy. That’s the one where you give something a name and then you tell everyone that this is your plan and, hey presto, everyone stops worrying about it because when anyone asks you can tell them that you have a plan and what’s more it’s got a name. Kroger has helped create the Enid Lyons Fighting Fund, which doesn’t plan on fighting Enid Lyons as the name suggests, but rather intends to help women get elected to Parliament by letting them shadow MPs and get mentored and all sorts of other swell stuff. It sounds really good and even if it hasn’t been given any funding, it is a plan and I’m sure that one day someone will be able to say that the only reason that they’re in Parliament is because of Enid Lyons Fighing Fund which as yet is only the Enid Lyons Fighting because as I mentioned has no fund attached.

And let’s not forget energy prices. Every time I see the ad on TV telling me how the Federal Government is working to reduce energy prices I feel a little warmer… which is good because I’m trying not to put the heater on. Exactly what they’re doing wasn’t clear from the ad, so I did what it suggested and went to the site where it told me that they were: “Holding energy retailers to account to ensure consumers are aware of the options they have to change energy plans.”

Awesome. That should work. But that’s not all. As well they are: “Increasing the scrutiny of the energy market with MORE FUNDING to the Australian Energy Regulator and the ACCC to ensure consumers and industry get a fair deal.”

You’ll notice, if you go to the Powering Forward website, the Government is using LOTS of CAPITAL LETTERS and BOLDFACE to show ExAcTLy HOW much they’re DOING.

 

 

9 comments

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  1. Josephus

    We seem to live in a madhouse. Get the hell rid of this lot but ensure first that Labor is not going to do similar antics , but how?

  2. Kaye Lee

    Dare Scott to call the sergeant-at-arms a politically correct snowflake. Will he tell the twittersphere to toughen up princess? Will he say offence can’t be given, only taken?

    Or will he learn the lesson that you can’t just say/tweet/rap what you want when you want without considering the rules let alone the offence that may be caused.

  3. 02tet

    As ludicrous as Hanson’s video on YouTube is, what I found most disturbing was the support shown to her in the ‘comments’ section. The vitriol leveled at a nine year old and her family was staggering. This is a reflection of Hanson’s voter base.
    I’m a little embarrassed to admit I know only 2 lines of our National Anthem, one of those only because of ‘girt’ being in it. But I have to wonder how many of these flag wrapping patriots could sing it chapter and verse. Perhaps Pauline could do a YouTube video of that, (without a TelePrompTer of course).

  4. helvityni

    “Every time I see the ad on TV telling me how the Federal Government is working to reduce energy prices I feel a little warmer… which is good because I’m trying not to put the heater on.”

    Unfortunately those Government’s Ads don’t work on hubby; he puts on an act of shivering as if he is just about to turn into an icicle…
    Instead of turning the heaters up, I kindly throw him a warm jumper and tell him to stop complaining….

    If the jumper is not enough; what about a spot of singing and praise-dancing…get moving,mate.

  5. pierre wilkinson

    …regrettably you are no longer a brilliant satirist but have become that even rarer gem, an honest journalist…
    Our current government must be in total denial about the oncoming election, the probable creation of a federal ICAC and the subsequent charges levelled against so many of them…. though i suppose the old “i do not recall”, “i can not remember” and the favourite “not to my recollection” will be given a generous airing.
    I wonder how Kathy Jackson is doing and whether Michaelia Cash will be asking for advice on how to defer criminal trials.
    Meanwhile Bonkaby is trolling for a promotion: if incompetence and inability are rewarded, then he should be a guarantee.

  6. Kaye Lee

    pierre,

    I would call Rossleigh more a political adviser. It doesn’t matter what ridiculosity he predicts, they do it. I swear they follow his every word.

    But I agree, he has an absolutely unique talent at pointing out the inconsistencies in the most uncomfortable way.

  7. New England Cocky

    hmmm …. and here’s me thinking that funding a political party or its supporters was inappropriate ….. except of course the you a Sunday mourning Christian happy clapper living the life of Riley on the Parliamentary Allowances Scheme.

    Bring on the 2018 Federal election so that Rossleigh is given better opportunities to demonstrate his unique skill of exposing the sordid underbelly of Liarbral ineptitude.

    In New England women supporting Adultery support National$ who support Adulterers.

  8. Kerri

    Has anyone asked Helen Kroger if the Enid Lyons Fighting Fund can be used by male candidates???
    Surely to allow only women is sexist? But then who wants to imitate Emily’s list or Affirmative Action?

  9. Ian

    I wish this ‘government’ would just get the hell off my lawn.

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