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Some Liberals May Be Insane Fornicators!

Someone texted a talkback show to suggest that there was nothing wrong with calling someone a “witch” as it meant either a Wiccan or a practitioner of magic, neither of which were offensive.

However, I tend to think that language is contextual. For example, to describe Julie Bishop as a “woman” is accurate, while to suggest to her that she wouldn’t understand because she’s a woman does leave oneself open to charges of sexism. And, of course, to call George Brandis or Christopher Pyne “a woman” is an attempt to insult them.

So when the Education Minister, Simon Birmingham suggested that what Peter Dutton had done by coming forward was worthy of our admiration, I couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy.

“(He) of course has come out and publicly acknowledged that it was him, to avoid there being a witch-hunt or blame being pointed in other directions,”

A witch-hunt? Mm, you mean we need to hunt for the witches now? Surely with our surveillance laws and keeping all that meta-data we should know where all those witches are.

Of course, the focus on the word “witch” is part of the problem. Let’s not forget that it was proceeded by two adjectives: “Mad” and “f*cking”. Before the talk-back caller tells me that “mad” may mean “insane” or “angry” and neither of those things are offensive, and that “f*cking” is a perfectly acceptable and pleasant pastime, I feel compelled to suggest that when you combine all three in the one sentence, it’s hardly the sort of thing I’d say to someone interviewing me for a job.

“What experience do you have for the role, Mr Brisbane?”

“Plenty, you mad, f*cking witch.”

No, I can’t see me getting the job no matter how well I interviewed after that. Even if I apologised because I actually meant to say it to the person beside her, and I just got confused and we all had a jolly good laugh about it.

Yes, like Peter Dutton, I too use some “robust” language from time to time but to me that’s not the issue. Whether the text said, “Mad f*cking witch” or “Insane, fornicating practitioner of black magic” the issue remains the same for me.

Actually, when I come to think of it there are one or two members of the current Liberal government who could be described as “insane, fornicating practitioners of black magic”, but making their names public would be wrong. I think I’ll just text it to a few friends with a picture of them and hope that someone passes it on to “The Australian” so that they can publish it with their faces pixelated but the clothes they were wearing clearly visible. And by someone, I’d like to assure everyone it wasn’t me or Jamie Briggs or Peter Dutton who sent it on. In fact, I have it on good authority that the person who sent the Briggs’ photo on to the newspaper wasn’t Dutton making a mistake with his phone.

Yes, pixelating her face and giving out details of her position in Hong Kong was about as good an attempt to protect her identity as when the press told us that an “eighty year-old bearded Australian wobble-board player living in Britain was being investigated for sex offences but we’re suppressing his name.”

While Birmingham and others have attempted to downplay the inappropriateness of Dutton’s text and the tone of their defence makes me feel as though it’s a shame that we’ve abolished knighthoods because he’d surely be up for one after his prompt action in telling it was he who sent the text, I can’t help but wonder what Samantha Maiden did to deserve being called “mad” or “f*cking”, let alone a witch.

Ok, she did say, “”Mr Dutton is a good minister, he’s a hard worker, he’s made a strong contribution to the government,” which could qualify her as having a limited grasp on reality, but that was after Dutton’s text, so I really don’t think he was referring to that.

No, it gets down to the simple fact that for some people simply disagreeing with them or criticising them makes one insane or evil. So when Maiden dared to write an article which reflected negatively on Briggs, Dutton felt compelled to reassure him that he needn’t listen to what that nasty person was saying about him because she was a girl and we won’t let her in our treehouse, and we can have a jolly good time at the next meeting of the “Monkey pod” dancing on tables.

Remember Dutton’s response to Sarah Hanson-Young’s accusation that she was being spied on while she was in Nauru. He attacked her credibility. Remember his apology when it was discovered that she, in fact, had been spied on? No, neither do I.

Yep, Dutton certainly seems to be a member of that club that thinks that the only people who deserve answers are those who aren’t questioning them.

Insane, fornicating warlocks!


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  1. Margot

    Witch’ – the Liberal Party Sledge That Won’t Die

    In a move that has caused many to say “Wait? That really happened?” Peter Dutton mistakenly sent a text to a reporter calling her a “mad f**king witch”. Comedian Deirdre Fidge writes about how this gendered insult keeps coming up, possibly because it’s a ‘one letter off’ alternative to another, much worse word.
    By Deirdre Fidge

  2. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    The strain is showing on Dutton. He can’t handle the pressure of government office. Retire him to the paddock.

  3. kerri

    Good article Rossleigh!!! Dutton must go! Will Turncoat have “the ticker”? I seriously doubt it!!

  4. JeffJL

    Rossleigh. I can feel your anger coming out in this piece. I am sure somebody will have negative comments about the typos in the article but to me it emphasises the anger and disdain you hold for the subjects of the article.

    Nice piece.

  5. Klaus

    Beautiful and accurate post. A minister in such a powerful position has to be able to
    * Accurately inform
    * Be on top of his portfolio
    * Respect all Australians, even the ones that didn’t vote for him
    * Be trustworthy
    * Has a considerate intellect

    He fails on all. He is just a common Dumb Ass. Imagine people who we trust behave like this? Thank god, he is only a politician. They are vastly overestimated in their abilities.

    I would be more than upset if I caught my doctor to laugh to other colleagues about my predicament (if I had some).

    Well done, keep it up.

  6. silkworm

    The word “witch” is a pejorative used by some Christians who actually believe in the existence of demonic, satanic and occult influences.

  7. helvityni

    Updike called one of his books ‘Witches of Eastwick’, , .the later sequel to ‘Witches’ was titled ‘Widows of Eastwick’.

  8. Deanna Jones

    Witch is an historically charged up term to throw around given the several consecutive centuries of men with power, like Dutton, burning non-compliant women to death. It directly represents gendercide and is utterly offensive and indefensible. Sack his sorry arse now.

  9. Stephen

    The questions would seem to be

    Did he come out about his behavior because he realized what he had done or because of what he did?
    If the text had not gone to her would he still have come out about sending that sort of things to his loutish mates?
    Does he do this sort of thing and attitude often?
    Did he call her before she mentioned it in passing on Radio I believe it was?
    Is this sort of attitude prevalent in the parliament?

    Some men are never boyish louts and seem mature from young age. Some are but mature. Others never do and never seem to realize the need to.
    They apology for the behavior and seem repentant until time passes and then start doing it again.

    This is the genius who does not have the brains or foresight to keep his pathetic humor in check when microphones are around.
    Just a matter of time until the next one.

    Like Abbott he is one of those who thinks he is smart witty and funny and never accepts that other think him pathetic the smart people like this learn the dumber ones never do.


  10. bobrafto

    Ditch the witch! a referral to JG now we got a Mad f*cking witch!, Hmmm, mad f*cking? I’ll leave that one to one’s imagination. And I have termed julie Bishop as the Witch from the West with an accompanying illustration https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10204032511785598&set=gm.785138741559421&type=3&theater

    Mr Birmingham has assured us that there will be no more witch hunts which leads me to ask is witch hunting a common practice that it has to be stopped?.

    Just like it is a common practice in WA for people to withdraw cash from their bras and jocks to pay for goods, true, it was on the ABC website and that adds a whole new meaning to an ATM.

    I like to conclude with decency.

    Matthias Cormann and others have labelled Briggs a decent man, perhaps he hasn’t consulted the dictionary to get the words meaning.

    Groping a female against her wishes could hardly be called decent and it should be called ‘indecent behaviour’ and Mr Briggs should be brought to the dock to face charges which carries a 2 year jail term. But it won’t happen while the LNP are in power.

  11. stephengb2014

    I share your anger Rossliegh – I cannot get over the unbelievable hubris displayed by this man in particular but all of them in the government ministery.

    If Turnbull does not sack this man he will show himself to be a weak fool.

  12. Stephen

    I wonder how long it will be before someone tries to ride a anti PC campaign like Donald Trump. Following his example. We usually end up following the U.S. in it’s downward spiral.

    It is not as though we haven’t been down the road before just not as extreme as his.

    Good old Barnaby seems to oppose PC I wonder if this applies to things he cares about or just the rabble.


  13. Glenn K

    and I thought we would be missing the extraordinary stupid and offensive things Abbott kept on doing week in week out. Apparently not – the entire band of them are just as mad effing stupid and dangerous as he is. Can they seriously win another election? is the Australian voting public that stupid too???

  14. Stephen


  15. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    Yes Sen Nearly Ile,

    somebody aged who is close to me, also said something unpolitically correct about a young girl who had been gang raped coz she was out late without parental supervision.

    Don’t allow old ladies’ perceptions to dictate your line of vision. They speak from the perspective of self-preservation for their time, and fair enough of course.

    We in 2016, speak from the perspective of expectation for society’s evolution, law-makers’ law reforms, and law-enforcers’ commitment to undertaking delivery of what is best for women and men in our society by protecting women and girls properly.

  16. paul walter

    No doubt the pic effort was pathetic and pitiful.

    The sad thing is, Dutton avoided being dealt with as well and Miranda Devine who actually DOES suit the description Dutton offered of her, gets an image boost.

    Worse still, worse crimes have avoided detection, this case involving Sussan Ley:http://www.mamamia.com.au/medicare-pap-smears-not-free/

  17. paul walter

    Btw, enjoyed the pic of George Brandis to lead off the article.

  18. Backyard Bob


    The sad thing is, Dutton avoided being dealt with as well and Miranda Devine who actually DOES suit the description Dutton offered of her, gets an image boost.

    That’s a shame on two counts – it was Samantha Maiden not Miranda Devine and you just justified Dutton’s text. Ooops.

  19. diannaart

    Awesomely spotted, BB

  20. Deanna Jones

    Paul walter you just did exactly what Dutton did; referred to a woman as a mad f*cking witch.
    That was a shit thing to say.

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