While some were shocked at Alan Jones’ interview of Louise Herron over her insistence that the Opera House sails aren’t just some giant billboard. Some have even accused Jones of bullying because he said that she should be sacked for refusing to allow the Everest…
Oh, point of clarification, when I say the Everest, I am refering to a horse race, not the mountain. It’s the richest race in the world apparently, so it’s far more important than some pissy in the Himalayas.
Anyway, Jones told Herron she should be sacked for refusing to allow the horse colours, jockeys and a replica of the Everest trophy to be displayed on the Opera House. People who are accusing Jones of bullying fail to understand that yelling abuse at people is never bullying when you’re right and/or when you’re a privileged white male. Bullying only occurs when people do things that are politically correct and tell people not to say racist or sexist or untrue things. This is a violation of their freedom of speech and politically correct people shouldn’t be allowed to speak.
All’s well that ends well, of course. The Premier of NSW, Glad Todowhateverjonessez, quickly sprung into action and said that there would be a compromise and the Opera House would be displaying everything that the racing club wanted but that Louise Herron wouldn’t be thrown in front of the galloping horses.
The Premier was backed today by our interim PM, Scott Morrison who suggested that people were being precious. “This is one of the biggest events of the year. Why not put it on the biggest billboard Sydney has?” Mr Morrison explained, for the benefit of those who were under the misapprehension that the Opera House was a cultural icon. By adding, “I come from a tourism background, these events generate massive opportunities for the state, for the city,” Mr Morrison reminded us that he was the guy behind the highly successful, Where the Bloody Hell Are You campaign which frightened off more people than his Stop The Boats follow-up.
Yes, so there you have it. Sydney Opera House is a billboard. Now that people understand that only precious snowflakes would think that using it to promote a horse race was tacky, we can start thinking creatively about ways to promote all sorts of things.
Ok, obviously advertising the Everest at the top of Mt Everest would be appropriate. However, as so few people make it to the top it seems like a waste of resources even if we could get signage up there.
But there are plenty of other things we could take advantage of. I mean, all that dead space on Uluru. Yes, the traditional owners might find it insulting, but we could just tell them if we’re prepared to use the Opera House, then who are they to be so picky just because it has some sort of sacred significance?
And let’s think creatively about Parliament House. Now that they’ve fenced off the lawn area, we could spray paint ads on the grass, thereby making great inroads into the deficit. If we get rid of those silly regulations about props, then MPs could wear billboards in the House, announcing which major corporation was sponsoring them.
In fact, each session of Parliament could be sponsored. The Speaker could announce:
“Today’s Question Time is being brought to you by Codral. Soldier On With Codral. I now call upon the Member for Warringah…”
Yes, we’re really missing out on a lot of revenue. We need to do something. I’m going to write to the man in charge suggesting it.
Anyone got Alan Jones’ address?