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What’s Sauce For The Gander Is A Golden Egg For The Goose!

Good Morning, I have with me a spokesman for the Prime Minister, Dr Apollo Gist, Good morning Dr Gist.

Good morning

Now, you seem to be making some progress on the company tax cuts with Pauline Hanson’s party…

Yes, business leaders wrote to the senators and explained that if they got a tax cut, they’d invest in Australia and there’d be more jobs which, of course, would lead to wages growth, and Senator Hanson clapped her hands and said that it really, really helped.

But hasn’t your party been arguing that higher wages would stunt jobs growth?

Yes, but that was in a completely different argument so it’s of no relevance here.

Surely, you can’t have it both ways?

Well that’s the sort of socialist thinking we’ve come from the ABC. In capitalist system there’s no reason why a person has to restrict himself to one way and it’s always been our philosophy that people should be allowed to have as many ways as they want…

Hang on, I’m not from the ABC. And we’re talking about advancing a contradictory position not how many “ways” a person is allowed. It’s hardly socialist to point out that you can’t argue one thing, one moment and then change it just because it suits you.

Why not? This is really typical of the political correctness that’s stopping free speech in this country. We should be allowed to say what we like. 

Unless, of course, you’re a public servant or someone who’s worked on Manus or Nauru.

Naturally. We can’t have people jeopadising our national security by wandering around blurting out classified information.

How does it jeopardise our national security? 

I can’t tell you that, it’s classified.

Speaking of contradictions, given the outrage from the PM and others about the loss of income from Labor’s proposed removal of the cash back for franking credits when people have no taxable income…

With good reason, some of these people have incomes of less than $18,000 a year and Bill Shorten is proposing double taxation. 

Hang on, it’s there taxable income that’s less than $18,000, but that’s only because income from Superannuation isn’t taxed if you’re over sixty.

Yes, but why should they be taxed anything. They’ve spent all their working lives putting money into Superannuation so that they could avoid tax and now just because some of them are lucky enough to be earning a tad more than you or I, those socialists in the Labor Party want to rob them with this double taxation!

How is it double taxation?

Well, the company’s already paid the tax and now Shorten wants them to pay it again. 

No, the way it works is the company pays the tax, then the government gives people who can’t claim the rebate because they don’t earn enough taxable income a cash payment which means that not only isn’t it doubly taxed, it’s not taxed at all.

You must be confused…And I think that I can do just that by using the few examples where it is unfair and using words like dividend imputations and franking credits and…

Anyway, the point I was going to make is that while the government is raising so much fuss about these people losing money, aren’t they concerned about how these people will react to the company tax cuts?

What’s that got to do with this?

Well, the franking credits are based on the company tax rate. If it goes down, then they’ll lose five percent of their cash back.

So? They’ve got plenty of money. 

But weren’t you just saying how much they needed it? 

Like I said before, that was a completely different argument. You’re just trying to take me out of context… Besides, when companies get a tax cut, while they may lose out in terms of higher dividends.

But haven’t businesses told Pauline Hanson that they’ll use the cut to pay higher wages, how can they do both? I mean, it’s not a magic pudding, is it?

If you’ll allow me to finish…

I wasn’t aware that I’d interrupted you.

I said, “If you’ll allow me to finish…”

Yes?

That’s it! I want to be allowed to finish and not have to answer any more of your silly questions. 

Oh, ok. Thank you.

No, thank you. 

 


9 comments

  1. David Bruce

    We had a meeting with the Australian Foreign Minister this morning, so with yesterday’s drama with the local Minister for Education and Training and the CEO agreeing to stop female rugby games in government schools, your article explains everything. Then I read this:
    Dear 1%ers, many of our fellow citizens are starting to believe that capitalism itself is the problem. I disagree, and I’m sure you do too. Capitalism, when well managed, is the greatest social technology ever invented to create prosperity in human societies. But capitalism left unchecked tends toward concentration and collapse. It can be managed either to benefit the few in the near term or the many in the long term. The work of democracies is to bend it to the latter. That is why investments in the middle class work. And tax breaks for rich people like us don’t. Balancing the power of workers and billionaires by raising the minimum wage isn’t bad for capitalism. It’s an indispensable tool smart capitalists use to make capitalism stable and sustainable. And no one has a bigger stake in that than zillionaires like us.
    The oldest and most important conflict in human societies is the battle over the concentration of wealth and power. The folks like us at the top have always told those at the bottom that our respective positions are righteous and good for all. Historically, we called that divine right. Today we have trickle-down economics.
    What nonsense this is. Am I really such a superior person? Do I belong at the center of the moral as well as economic universe? Do you?

  2. New England Cocky

    A sadly accurate representation of the present unthinking in the far right wing Fascist misgovernment of RAbbott, the Pommie refugee, Dutton, the former Queensland copper without empathy; Morriscum, sometime “Treasurer” and previously jailer of legal refugees who could not afford to fly in from PRC; and Turdball, the golden haired saviour of right wing parasitic capitalism and off-shore transfer of corporate profits.

  3. etnorb

    Great article Rossleigh! It sounds about right, although I do not think it would matter who the person being interviewed was, in the Liberal party or one of their “advisors” (sic!). they would all reply with the same sort of right wing, flat earth crap as each other! Not one of the party in power seems to have any brains, knowledge of anything–especially when it concerns the average person in the street, nor do they have any compassion for these same people. In reality, they are ALL just obscenely over-paid, so-called “politicians”, who lie, talk untruths & really all live in cloud cuckoo country! Cannot wait for the next election to say goodbye to all of them!

  4. ajogrady

    Here is an idea. If the intention of the gift of $65 billion to big business and small business is to stimulate the economy produce more profits and more jobs and therefore more taxes for the government. Then they should be gifting it to the people who actually own this money and are the drivers of profits for companies and the producers of jobs, the Australian people. As this is a tax lowering exercise it will impact every year therefore the people should get this every year and they unlike big business actually pay their taxes without the ability to even reduce them. Also when are the tariffs against China going to start. The L/NP government do not have any policies of their own and are in lock step with Trump so it would be a natural assumption.

  5. cjward2017

    Nice piece worthy of Clarke and Dawe. Like many skits, it bites home, bristling with accuracy.

  6. cartoonmick

    Yes, further evidence that politicians should be kept out of politics.

  7. cartoonmick

    I wonder how differently pollies would answer questions if they were on a TV quiz show?

  8. Rossleigh

    cartoonmick, yes, I can imagine Turnbull telling us that Bill Shorten was responsible after being asked, “What started the First World War?”

  9. Rossleigh

    Maybe I should have also pointed out the fact that it would be wrong of Mister Dutton to bring South African farmers here. After all this is a dangerous place where Victorians are too scared to go out at night!

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