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What If Abbott Had Become A Bishop?

Ok, it’s been on the tip of my tongue. Or the back of my mind. And anyway is there a difference?

I suddenly worked out what was so troubling to me about Abbott’s response to Gillian Triggs’ report. And yeah, well, even that is not entirely correct because it is NOT Gillian Triggs’ report. It’s from The Human Rights Commission and as such, she doesn’t own the report, if one is going to attack the integrity of the report, one should be attacking such things as the way the information was gathered, not the person themselves.

To use a rather crude analogy, when Peta Credlin was facing the court for a drink driving charge, had the judge made the rather strange decision that as Peta Credlin was both driving and over the legal limit, then she should pay a fine or something, then just screaming that this judge was partisan and they never suspended any Chiefs-of-staff under Labor doesn’t really cut it. You should actually be complaining about the corruption of the police who took the reading. And if you can’t do that, then what’s the problem?

But that’s a bit too obscure for the point I actually want to make here. And before any of you accuse me of being anti-Catholic, I’d just like to point out that some of my best friends are Jewish, and I put down Waheed Ali as one of the three people I’d like to meet, so I’m more politically correct than Bob Brown and on first name terms with God.

Ok, in this little fantasy, where Abbott stuck with the priesthood and became a bishop… Should Bishop have a capital?

Anyway, let’s move forward…

“Bishop Abbott, there’s a report from a lawyer who says that priests are abusing children…”

“Are they one of us?”

“Um… by one of us, do you mean, are they Catholic, or are they another priest?”

“Just tell me who gave the report.”

“It was a lawyer named Gillian.”

“Gillian, that’s a funny name for a man.”

“Um… she’s apparently a woman.”

“Then not only, isn’t she one of us, she couldn’t even be one of us. The report is partisan. Tell her that she’ll burn in hell.”

“But it’s about a priest that’s admitted what he’s done.”

“That’s the power of witches. They can make perfectly good people forget who they are. Just look at that Julia woman who’s the PM. If only there was someone like me as Opposition Leader, I’ll bet she wouldn’t have won the 2013 election and then we wouldn’t have all these social service benefits that stop people realizing that the Church is the only place they can find true solace”

“What about the children?”

“Who cares?”



Aw, give me a break, I didn’t actually write the next two lines.

Peace and love,




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  1. David

    Ross are you certain you don’t need a break from all this writing? Said in the kindest way.

  2. Rossleigh

    Gee, thanks, David, perhaps I should. Perhaps you should take a break from making comments, and I mean that in the kindest possible way, too. Ok, I won’t write another post until the next time you make a comment.

  3. Blanik

    I was under the impression that that was precisely what they did to them.

    He would have been a good Bishop and followed Canon law to the letter

  4. DanDark

    Abbottor Abbott is better at following the IPA law to the letter now…

  5. Rossleigh

    I changed the line to “Who cares”, Blanik, after my colloquial use of a phrase meaning “Who cares?” was thought to be potentially offensive. Ok, now your comment doesn’t make quite as much sense as it did a few minutes ago, but hey I think it still reads ok.
    But David from the politically correct police has shut me down.
    Typical Labor Party!

  6. Rossleigh

    Thank God, they have Bill Shorten in charge instead of that Albo who referred to our nation as a grub in Parliament.

    Check out Albo in Parliament talking about the Tony Abbott/Monty Python skit about the 48 second mark.

  7. David

    Ross you didn’t wait

  8. Phi

    Rossleigh doesn’t need a break – but the nation does !! I really like Ross’s talent for looking at things from a different perspective. More of this lateral perspective please Ross’.

    I’m gobsmacked at the craven display by bigoted misogynists Abbott, Brandis, Macdonald et al. If this is what defines ‘Australian’ then the conservative side of this once decent nation needs to take a long break and have a bloody good gander into its inner self.

    I’m also keenly aware of the nature of constipation, natural and political. Both eventually ease with the turds blocking the system being ejected to the oblivion of the sewer – and good riddance to the lot.

  9. CMMC

    Sir Bishop Abbott, thats more like it.

    As for J.Bishop, she has no ambition for P.M., she has the best gig already.

  10. rossleighbrisbane

    Ok, David, I never said I wouldn’t make another comment. Just I wouldn’t post,so all bets are off.
    As fat as Albo, is concerned, check out the one where he attacks Tony Abbot as a Monty Python skit at the 48 second mark?

  11. rossleighbrisbane

    And by the way, I totally support him with the comment

  12. David

    Ross isnt “I never said I wouldn’t make another comment. Just I wouldn’t post” somewhat similar to Julia Bishops answer to a question in HOR question is to the Minister for Foreign Affairs representing the Attorney-General,…

    ‘and I refer to her earlier answer: what is the difference between a specific role and a job offer?

    Ms JULIE BISHOP (Curtin—Minister for Foreign Affairs) (14:42): There is a world of difference. It depends who raised the issue of the role, and no specific job offer was made.

  13. donwreford

    Those attracted to the frock are the people who having a deep sense of insecurity that cannot be controlled in any other way than to have power over those who do not get it, that the ruling authority are their to satisfy own insecurities, and are so often perverted.
    Abbott who has deep insecurities within is in a wonderful position to become a priest or politician, by sheer chance and having the will to take up any opportunity to distance himself and relieve himself from insecurities within taking his mind off his own anxieties as a failure of a politician but also as a man called for work of a higher calling.
    What he knows is having been associated with lower economic status himself, decided on those who are having a difficult time economically is punishing them for what he is himself.

  14. rossleighbrisbane

    Actually, David, not even remotely similar. However, if you want me to stop posting, I promise that I will, if you promise never to comment on anything ever again.

  15. Annie B


    You are always a good writer ……… but I have to disagree with one thing you’ve said this time.

    ( And the remainder of your article was a little difficult to come to grips with. )

    ….” And yeah, well, even that is not entirely correct because it NOT Gillian Triggs’ report. It’s from someone in a certain position and as such, she doesn’t own the report, if one is going to attack the integrity of the report, one should be attacking such things as the way the information was gathered.”

    If Gillian Triggs signed the report … then it is most definitely OWNED by her … despite the areas she obtained information from. The thing is – did she actually ‘sign it ‘ … or was it published simply under her name as President of the Australian HRC by someone else ??. A President, CEO, Chairperson – does NOT put his/her signature to a document unless they are utterly sure of same. If someone else wrote it, it would be gone over with a fine tooth comb – if not, the head sherang is not worth their salt. ….. and believe me, Gillian Triggs is worth more than her salt. …

    She is an academic of awesome proportions, and has been so long enough now, to know what to put her signature to – – or not.

    So – sorry Ross – she DOES own the report – and by owning the report, she has been vilely and critically attacked by a moron who wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to her knowledge, her accumen and her abilities.

    Simply cannot agree with you on this one. The ‘gathering of information’ forms the basis of reports – anywhere … in small business, large corporations, many Governments ( but not the current excuse for an Australian Government ) … in science, industry, and even in a neighbourhood. …

    And yes, sometimes the gathering of information is biased, or has been influenced incorrectly, or is simply, wrong. …. but hell – NOT in this case.

    I rather think the heading of that report ” The Forgotten Children” was what sparked the un-necessary outrage from a man who is under the hammer – in every way possible. …. And hey – she being woman – what better target could he have chosen.

    In fact, with that heading – Gillian Triggs confronted him and his excuse for a Party, and rightly so. She ALSO confronted the Labor Party, but Abbott conveniently overlooked that. … Took it upon himself to be outraged. … Called it ‘partisan’ when it most certainly was not. … Defended himself ( not his Party ) which is exactly what could be expected of a moronic self-appointed behemoth.

  16. David

    Ross I recall a learned Professor at Uni talking on double speak…rings true with you. However I will continue to post, I don’t have a problem with being criticised as I am sure Albo doesn’t, he cops his share. Carry on at will.

  17. rossleighbrisbane

    Um, I don’t have a problem with being criticised… I have a problem with people who suggest I should say nothing. But feel free to comment. 🙂

  18. stephentardrew

    Excellent Ross some people have no artistic insight or understanding.

    Just pure literary dills.

    Not everything has to be taken literally.

    You know that thing called a right to have an opinion.

    Reactive bullshit.

    David it was not said in the kindest way.

  19. DanDark

    Yes I can see your conundrum Rossleigh 🙂
    To say nothing and be criticized or to say nothing and not be criticized
    Or is my comment “double speak” I just luv the word conundrum, its when one is in a pickle as what to do
    which brings me to the word choice, what a word, so when you make a choice it is usually ones choice
    not someone elses choice that you should obey because at the end of the day,
    we all have a voice and its our choice when we should use it and not be silenced,
    constructive criticism is okay, what a word constructive, the opposite to destructive 🙂

  20. rossleighbrisbane

    Actually, I have no idea why David told me that I should take a break from writing. In spite of his numerous comments he never actually explained why he was trying to impersonate the Liberal Party by saying that those I object to, should not write reports. Perhaps he could enlighten us all.

    Or perhaps, his objections were very clear and I just missed them.

    As far as having Bill Shorten in charge, that was the sort of joke that most people miss. I’d rather Jason Clare, Mark Dreyfus, that woman who’s name I can’t spell but I think is something like Tanya Plibersek, and a whole range of people who aren’t even in Federal Parliarment

    Whoops – I may have spelt something else wrong there!

  21. DanDark

    I wont hold my breath waiting for that enlightenment Ross, life is to short for “professors” on silence
    If I want light I flick on a switch its that easy…… 🙂

  22. Rossleigh

    @Annie B
    When I said that it wasn’t Gillian Triggs report, I meant that in the sense that it’s no more her report than a parking inspector’s decision to book you for being parked in a no standing zone. He or she has booked you because that’s their job, you don’t suggest that Fred or Wilma has decided to book you because they don’t like people named Annie, unless you have pretty strong evidence…
    And even then, the fact that you were illegally parked means that just because someone else should have got a ticket too doesn’t mean that they’re doing something wrong – it doesn’t justify you demanding the resignation of the parking inspector…

  23. Annie B

    Rossleigh …

    Well – putting it that way I now see what you meant.

    It was a little obscure, but then the written word often can be. ( as I have found out many times after commenting here myself !! 😉 ) ….. my mother so often said ” Never put anything in writing ” … I thought she was being paranoid, but the wrong comma in the wrong place etc. can alter so much. ( not that you put any commas in the wrong place !! ).

    Definitely, Gillian Triggs should not have been approached to resign her position ( no matter how the subject was raised to her ) … just because she was doing her job.

    She did do the job excellently tho, didn’t she. … Got to Abbott big time.

  24. Hotspringer

    Je suis Gillian.

  25. wayne johnson

    when I last wrote in here tony abbot was a dickhead ive written again he still is a dickhead but when baird is booted out of office
    we will come for you tony we have had enough of this lying hypocrite lying to us all the time

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