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We Are In Total Agreement With The 43% Or Rather 43% Of Us Are…

Good morning, today we have a representative from the government-in-exile, Shadow Minister for Anything Starting With E, Senator Hamingburn, Good morning, Senator.

A pleasure to be here.

First up, your party is voting against the 43% reduction target. Why?

Because it’s just not necessary.

You don’t think that the target is necessary?

No, we don’t think that the legislation is necessary. Chris Bowen has said on a number of occasions, that they could have a target without legislation so, if it’s good enough for Mr Bowen, then…

So you think that the target is fine, but you have a problem with the legislation?

That’s right. If the legislation was necessary, I’d be voting for it like a shot, but because it’s not necessary, we’re voting against it.

But doesn’t that send a rather confusing message?

On the contrary, our message is quite clear. We’re quite prepared to do what’s necessary, but because the legislation isn’t necessary, we’re not prepared to mandate a target when all a target will do is give people something to aim at and we already agree that we’re aiming at winning the next election so we can put into place meaningful action rather than legislation which just takes up valuable time in parliament where we should doing what’s necessary instead of this divisive legislation which…

Hang on, but isn’t it only divisive because you won’t agree with it?

No, it’s divisive because it drives a wedge between us and the parties supporting it. and it’s their support which is causing that wedge.

But…

It’s simple really. If it wasn’t for the legislation, we’d have nothing to oppose because we agree with the target, just not the legislation.

Didn’t you go into the election saying that the target was too much and that it would lead to job losses and higher energy prices?

And we were right. Mr Morrison, Mr Frydenberg and a whole range of MPs lost their jobs because of the 43% target and now energy prices are skyrocketing.

You’re not suggesting it’s because of Labor that world-wide gas and fuel prices are going up, surely…

We said that they’d go up before the election and we were right. We knew they’d go up under Labor and…

Didn’t you only know that they’d go up because you were sitting on the report that told you?

I reject the suggestion that we were skiing on the reports. We were merely waiting for an appropriate time to release it.

Such as after the election?

Well, it was Labor who did that. It was Labor who released it after the election so you can’t blame us for that.

Mr Dutton is putting forward the idea of nuclear power. When all the studies show that nuclear power is a more expensive option, why would your party be suggesting this?

Look, I think you’ll find that the studies you’re talking about are old studies and not the ones that we intend to undertake which will show that a lot has changed.

How do you know what your study will show?

Because we know that a lot has changed.

If you think that nuclear is a good option, why didn’t you do something about it when you were in government?

Well, like I said, a lot has changed and that’s one of the things that’s changed. We’re not in government so we can suggest things without having to worry about implementing them.

But you didn’t worry about implementing them in government either.

You’re not meant to say that. You’re only meant to ask questions which I can ignore.

I’m not from the ABC. I don’t have to be balanced.

Obviously. If you were from the ABC, you’d be interviewing Hollow Hughes or Matt Coalavan. I think it’s a great example of their left wing agenda.

What do you mean?

Well, they just interview those two instead of some of our more intelligent MPs so that they can pretend to be balanced but they’re making us look silly by giving those two air time.

So who would you suggest they interview to show your intellectual depth.

Mm, I’ll get back to you.

Thank you, that’s all we have time for.

Thanks, A pleasure.

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5 comments

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  1. wam

    I know this is a dream, rossleigh, because it alludes to the dutton’s reading of the proposal.
    Remember the rabbott railing against a report and, in a spur of the moment lapse of protocol, the ABC woman said “have you read the report?”
    We all knew he, like many violent xstians’ is too frightened to read anything that may impinge on their faith and beliefs. They have ‘readers’ who filter and report usable sanitised information.
    Is Dutton different? Don’t think so, he has no interest in learning anything that may interfere with his resolve to never moving past ‘opposing’.

  2. Terence Mills

    It must be very confusing being in the coalition.

    As you have noted, Rossleigh, in the coalition you vote against all legislation emanating from a Labor government, even if you agree with the intent and principles behind the legislation.

    It’s the Abbott doctrine, never say yes to anything coming from Labor – no wonder Spud Dutton is looking so confused these days.

  3. Terence Mills

    Incidentally, I see that, following the granting of permanent settlement visas to the Biloela Tamil family, a spokesperson (Karen Andrews) for the Liberal party has said that there will be consequences for this reckless action on the part of the Albanese government.

    The Liberals will foghorn their hopes that many more asylum seekers will set sail from Sri Lanka and they are implying that the Labor government have put down a red carpet to encourage these voyagers – perhaps Spud will even penalise them if they don’t embark by the thousand.

    You can vote stupid people out of government but they are still stupid people.

  4. Harry Lime

    Well,All I can say is..that Senator Hamingbum is as full of shit as his near namesake is.Come to think of it,I reckon he’s reading from a script with the heading “How to remain out of government permanently”,and with Captain Dickwit Dutton at the helm, they’re highly likely to achieve it.

  5. Geoff Andrews

    Labor’s insistence on 43% and rejection of 50%, implies that their plans to reduce emissions have been calculated to an accuracy of plus or minus 1%. We/they are not that clever. There are too many variables. And just for the record, I believe that 50 angels can dance on the head of a pin and that those that believe that only 43 angels can dance must have only met fat angles. In 1943, The Liberals said they would end the war in April 1944 and Labor said they would do it in March. Labor won the election, of course. For the gods’ sakes, just maximise renewables or have a bloody good reason why a particular non-renewable energy source should be implemented or continued.

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