Day to Day Politics: Will someone please fix…

Thursday 25 May 2017 Those of you who follow my daily political mutterings…

Your Say: the 1967 Referendum

From Gary Pead It should be remembered in Referendum Week ​that in 1967…

Day to Day Politics: After-Budget Hangover.

Wednesday 24 May 2017 I’m having one of those days where I’m going…

At least I never said "Adani"...

Someone asked me how my wife feels about having our conversations repeated…

Day to Day Politics: Three cases of…

Tuesday 22 May 2017 1 I have for some time now been calling…

“Baa, baa, black sheep …”

By freef'all852 (Warning: This article contains words and language that may offend the…

No, the banks aren’t really scared

By Ross Hamilton A lot of Australians are fed up with the big…

Finding the pathway to humanity

A few weeks ago, an international peace conference was held in Cairo…

«
»
Facebook

Trump awards himself Medal of Honor

In breaking satirical news the White House announced this morning that Trump has decided to award himself the highest medal for bravery in action against an enemy force – the Medal of Honor.

Appearing briefly in the Rose Garden at the White House, Trump announced that after careful consideration, he had decided that there is nobody more deserving than himself to receive this award.

In a short speech, Trump said: “No commander-in- chief of the US army and navy has ever come under such relentless fire from the greatest enemy of the American people – the fake news media.

And no commander-in-chief before me has ever had to fight such injustice and done so with such courage. To recognise these tremendous acts of valour, I have today awarded myself the highest military decoration – the Medal of Honor”.

When asked what had led to this award, Trump replied: “No politician in history has ever been treated worse or more unfairly than I have. Everybody thinks so. While former politicians throughout history have been locked up for years, tortured, beheaded and even hung, drawn and quartered – none of them has ever had to endure the lies of CNN, the taunts of Stephen Colbert or the terrible acting of Alec Baldwin on SNL.”

Trump continued: “In my time as President I have had to withstand slings, arrows and even the threat of being burned at the stake by the ridiculous fake news media. But I endure it all for my people – the people who voted for me – and I know that they would want me to have this Medal.”

The White House confirmed that they are having a special Medal made up for Trump. It will be made of pure gold and be twice as big as the standard Medal of Honor.

Trump is expected to hold a special ceremony to award himself the Medal when he returns from his overseas trip. Fox News and the Russian media will be the only press allowed at this event.

The ceremony will be followed by a brief celebration where Trump is expected to be served three scoops of ice cream and an extra large glass of coke with his cake.

This satirical article was first published on ProgressiveConversation

Help Support The AIMN

Please consider making a donation to support The AIMN and independent journalism.

Regular Donation
Frequency Amount

Your donation will be processed securely through PayPal.
One-off Donation
Amount

Your donation will be processed securely through PayPal.


18 comments

  1. Jagger

    The Australian contingent will consist of golfing great Greg Norman and Trump’s Australian Prime Minister Brian Trumble.

  2. wam

    In recognition of his personality it will have two faces both blank.

  3. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    If the medal is double the size of the normal Medal of Honour, where will Humpty Dumpty wear it?

    His neck is already heavily laden down with his big head, so I suggest the medal should be worn as a belt around his big, fleshy paunch.

  4. Matters Not

    The above article may not be satire but a reasonable ‘guess’ as to the future. And the day to day ‘history’ provides a mountain of ‘evidence’.

  5. Michael Taylor

    Jagger, you can add Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts. Big, big fans.

  6. Kate M

    MN: As I was writing it, I did think I’d better hurry up and publish it before it morphed from satirical humour into horrifying fact…..

  7. Michael Taylor

    Won’t be long before his more highly decorated than Forrest Gump (his IQ is about the same).

    President Gump has a certain ring to it.

  8. Kate M

    President Gump would do a better job 🙂

  9. darrel nay

    sometimes satire is hilarious, but sometimes it’s merely a bitter joke!

    Cheers

  10. Johno

    Unfortunately, so very believable.

  11. Max Gross

    No, seriously, I reckon Orange Man really is a couple of cans short of a six-pack…

  12. Michael Taylor

    Only a couple, Max? You are far too generous.

  13. diannaart

    @Kate M

    Kate M May 20, 2017 at 1:41 am

    MN: As I was writing it, I did think I’d better hurry up and publish it before it morphed from satirical humour into horrifying fact…..

    As I was reading your article, I thought, now these words are out there…. it will happen…

    Spooky times

  14. Kate M

    Yep. Spooky

  15. Kyran

    Spooky? It’s terrifying. His first o/s trip is to the country that sponsored 9/11. Notwithstanding his business interests there. His next stop is Israel. Notwithstanding his business interests there. He’s better off over there. Apparently, his own supporters are asking questions.
    Thank you for the postscript that this is satirical. It’s hard to tell these days.
    Thank you Ms M and commenters. Take care

  16. Rossleigh

    Actually, I’m expecting something from Trump where he tells us that he’s been doing satire for years, but nothing he does has disqualified him from being President…
    After all, he did demand equal time on Saturday Night Live after he was elected and Alec Baldwin did that piece on him!
    Surely a serious political figure wouldn’t want to appear on a show like that…

  17. Kyran

    “Actually, I’m expecting something from Trump …”
    That’s where you lost me, Mr Brisbane.
    I’m expecting nothing. Nothing. Another fizza. You light them up, the old penny bunger, and all you get is fizz. And then nothing, … nothing. We seem to spend a lot of time trying to work out the difference between ‘news’ and ‘fake news’. All of the time, we lose sight of what is important, and what is not.
    When satire has to be declared, and news doesn’t, eh, Houston, we have a problem.
    Take care.

  18. Kronomex

    Donald said of Donald that Donald is well deserving of the medal that Donald is going to present to Donald. In other news, a duck was dragged quacking insanely that he was Donald to an asylum that is now bursting at the seams with dozens of fake Donalds.

Leave a Reply

Return to home page
Scroll Up
%d bloggers like this: