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Treachery From Bill Shorten While Kevin Andrews Admits Affection For His Cycling Mates!

What interesting times!

Just last night, I was thinking how Barnaby had stuffed up by not actually checking that he was a dinky di Aussie through and through. All right, I know that being born here normally qualifies you, but when you’re not a third generation on both sides of the family tree then merely listening to “Australia All Over” with Macca on Sundays may not be enough to ensure that you’re qualified to sit in Parliament in these troubled days. And, even though Bananaby has never shown any inclination to barrack for the All Blacks – or even partial ones – he surely should have thought to check that he wasn’t actually a citizen of the Long White Cloud. I know that sounds harsh, but remember what Mr Joyce told us about those Green senators who suddenly discovered their dual citizenship:

“I think you just have got to do your homework and make sure you’re not a citizen of two countries when you stand for parliament. That’s basically it. Larissa said she believed that was not the case and I am sure that would be the outcome for Scott Ludlam. But unfortunately ignorance is not an excuse, you’re in strife!”

However, what I didn’t realise was that unlike all the things that Malcolm and his Menagerie stand ready to take the blame for, this one was nothing to do with the government. No, this time it was Labor’s fault.

Now you have to admit that this has been a government of no surprises and no excuses, just like Abbott promised before his lack of excuses led to his unsurprising axing, so if they are telling us that it’s Labor’s fault, well, we should certainly listen. I mean they’ve never tried to blame Labor before, so for those of you who haven’t been paying attention, it’s sort of like this:

Yes, Barnaby is a dual citizen but he didn’t know, so he shouldn’t be blamed. The Greens didn’t know either, but they should have known because they’re not as busy as Mr Joyce and should have taken the time to check. Because Mr Joyce didn’t know, Malcolm Turnbull has assured us that the High Court will rule that Section 44 is a silly section and we should just ignore it if the person says they didn’t know. And, it’s Labor’s fault because if they hadn’t committed treason by asking that shady organisation, the New Zealand Labour Party, to ask about it in their Parliament, nobody else would have known either and there wouldn’t be any threat to the Australian government and we wouldn’t have to ask Peter Dutton if there’s any way to get his new department to raid the Labor Party offices like they did when national security was breached by someone giving them access to the NBN data. Yes, as Julie Bishop told us, her government will find it hard to work with NZ Labour should they win the upcoming election because they actually asked a question which threatens to destabilise Malcolm Turnbull’s hold on power, and this could lead to an election before she’s had a chance to convince the party that she’s a better bet than Peter Dutton to lead the next campaign.

Someone did suggest that to blame Labor for this was akin to suggesting that you only lost your driver’s licence because of the person who conspired with the policeman so that he gave you a breath test. And that this was outrageous and nothing to do with the fact that you were driving erratically. That’s a silly analogy because Barnaby does most things erratically and I’m sure that his red face is just because he’s not used to the Australian sun.

And speaking of road rules, Kevin Andrews is apparently worried about them. Last night, while discussing marriage equality… It’s all right. I’m not from the ABC, I can use the phrase “marriage equality”… Kevin Andrews told Sky News last night that he not only had an affectionate relationship with Sam, one of the presenters, but that he also had an “affectionate relationship” with his “cycling mates” with whom he goes “cycling” on the weekend, but that the law had “no place in those sort of relationships”. However, my understanding is that these cycling people should not be riding more than two abreast according to the law, but Mr Andrews seems to be advocating a change to allow them to ride all over the road. Of course, he didn’t actually say it, but we know that he and his “cycling mates” try to keep to the right while the law – and political correctness – insists that they stay on the left side.

Anyway, my wife and I were planning a trip to New Zealand later this year, so I hope that the break in diplomatic relations won’t leave us stranded there. Or taken into custody as possible enemy agents when we return. I guess we could change our travel plans and go somewhere like Russia so that Malcolm, or whoever’s there by then, won’t use the legislation about travelling to a war zone to arrest us!

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  1. Matters Not

    had an affectionate relationship with Sam, one of the presenters

    Would that be Samantha Louise Maiden who:

    … police saw the Hyundai suddenly swerve left and move back to the right over double marked lines, travelling on the wrong side of the road around a left hand bend.

    Police caught up with the car, still travelling in the wrong lane, flashing a left-hand indicator.

    Possibly the only time she showed any indication of going left.

    Ms Huntsman gave Maiden a 12-month section-nine good-behaviour bond for the mid-range drink-driving charge and disqualified her from driving for seven months. She also fined her two separate amounts of $500 for charges of not obeying the direction of police.

    So Kevin Andrews has an affectionate relationship with someone who is a convicted over-imbiber. I think his marriage might be in trouble. Anyone know a good counsellor?

  2. Kaye Lee

    Of course it’s Labor’s fault. Just like Malcolm Roberts’ problems are the ABC’s fault. Treacherous treasonous bastards think they can just go about asking questions instead of being “fair and balanced” like One Nation is.

  3. Peter F

    Poor Bananaby: Perhaps he should have stayed in Queensland. They like New Zealand-related politicians. Don’t you worry about that!

  4. Rossleigh

    Matters Not, I did know that it was Sam “Mad F*cking Witch” Maiden, but I thought that mentioning her maiden status may just confuse things… I mean you have a man who’s admitted affection for her and his cycling mates but didn’t talk about any affection for his wife when she mentioned that he was married.

  5. Rossleigh

    Oh, whoops, did I send that to everyone. It was meant to be for you alone.
    Ah well, I’ll send a sorry to Sam and we’ll have a good laugh and I’ll be in charge of a SuperMinistry before you know it!

  6. Rossleigh

    And Kaye Lee, they want the ABC to be “Fair And Balanced” like Fox News. I know that they are because it’s their slogan!

  7. David1

    So it is Kiwis under the bed now, I reached the stage where nothing this unruly, shambolic, lying Govt do or say surprises me some time ago. However the hypocrisy over Labors ‘treason’, as the fools cast aside their involvement in the Slipper Affair, as if it never happened, is another low in their gutter existence

  8. Matters Not

    admitted affection for her and his cycling mates

    So he’s a bisexual? Does Tony know? What about the wife? Is Sam aware that she will have to share?

    Re Fair and Balanced – one wonders whether the PHONYs realise that slogan is now a running joke?

    Does Peter Dutton realise that while he might still be the driver of the political bus, there is a new female conductor. And a new bus boy in the form of Roberts?

    It’s now an ongoing daily soapie.

  9. Keith

    Julie Bishop has the nerve to talk about ethics.

    Bishop made outrageous/vile comments in relation to marriage equality. Mean, hateful comments hardly reflect ethics.
    She has peddled a conspiracy theory in relation to Joyce’s New Zealand citizenship.

    Bishop obviously has sniffed the wind and realises that the LNP is well and truly on the nose of voters and is not coping.

    Should Labour win in New Zealand, and Bishop carries out her childish threat about how she will handle the new government, it is a further clear indication that she is not fit for the job of Foreign Minister.

  10. Roscoe

    isn’t funny that Abbott was the first to bring out a dubious form saying he had renounced his citizenship then all this happens? something makes me wonder how much of a hand has good old Tones had in all this

  11. Matters Not

    Yes, Dutton and Sam have form. Like to get down and dirty. Talk rough and all that.

    (An aside but a true story: Lecturer (Lou) returning to a staff room, and in high dudgeon blurting:. She called me a f*cking idiot.

    A colleague responded: Lou, why did she say f*cking ?)

  12. paul walter

    If one politician above all has disgraced herself today, it must be Bishop, with her despicable attempt at emotional blackmail.

  13. Zathras

    So the Joyce matter is a sinister Labor Conspiracy?
    The Coalition would NEVER do anything like that if they got the chance, especially in a hung Parliament like Gillard’s.

    Never mind that they provided free legal representation to (now alleged to be corrupt) Kathy Jackson to get Craig Thomson or likewise to James Ashby when it came to Peter Slipper.

    Involving the Victoria Police Commissioner to perform a televised arrest stunt during (heavily botoxed) Tony Abbott’s Press Conference for the former or arranging the theft of a private diary for the latter are just some of the things existing and former Liberal MPs were involved in.

    The difference is that Joyce’s predicament is all his own doing. There has been no photoshopped fakery on the front pages of newspapers or other contrived “evidence” needed.

    The hypocrisy here is staggering – but now typical.

  14. Kaye Lee

    Let’s not forget now Senator James McGrath’s dirt files.

    In 2010, Brian Loughnane suggested McGrath for the job of running the LNP’s federal campaign in Queensland.

    In 2011 the then 38 year old campaign director was revealed as the architect behind a scheme to pay disgruntled former Labor staffer and candidate Robert Hough for dirt on government MPs.

    The LNP dirt file detailed a minister’s epilepsy and childhood adoption, claims about some politicians’ sexuality, sex lives, drinking habits and health matters, and included details of the schools of the children of government MPs.

    McGrath was “strongly reprimanded” after the story hit the press….and then given preselection for a Senate the 2013 election.

    Hell, they spent tens of millions trying to dig up dirt on Gillard and Shorten at the TURC. A phone call to ask about citizenship laws is pale by comparison.

  15. Michael Taylor

    Speaking of dirt files, Kaye … before the 2007 election our department was told to get as much dirt as we could on Kevin Rudd’s wife. (Our department dealt with her a lot because of the job search agencies she owned). You’ll be pleased to know that we disobeyed the ‘order’.

  16. Shogan

    “Treachery from Bill Shorten”?

    All I can say is people in the government & especially Julie Bishop mustn’t read the SMH or they would have known where the info on “Bananaby” come from via this article in the SMH published on Monday August 14…

    Now that NZ Internal Affairs Minister Peter Dunne has confirmed that the Australian media inquiries were the instigator of this issue and has described connections of the New Zealand Labour Party to this issue as “utter nonsense” I think Julie Bishop will have a big problem getting all that egg of her face…

  17. Rossleigh

    While we’re going off topic, did anyone else notice that Pauline Hanson’s One Notion Party is asking for the legislation that insists that the ABC adopts the Fox News slogan of “Fair and Balanced”?
    I’m still trying to work out whether this is because of ignorance or a deliberate ploy to make it easier to transfer funds to Rupert when he sues the ABC for copyright over the use of HIS slogan in their charter.
    And, while I’m on the subject will the requirement to disclose salaries extend to Michelle Guthrie and other Liberal Party appointees to the ABC?

  18. David1

    I listened to the AG Brandis in the Senate this morning moving a censure motion against Penny Wong and holding her responsible for all manner of foul deeds regarding the NZ Labour Party and its ‘involvement’ in the Barnaby Joyce shambles along side Penny’s COS with her knowledge and agreement. i could not believe my ears as Ms Wong had been on television and radio openly and completely denying the assertion.

    This Govt is panic stricken it could lose its 1 seat majority at any time, because of the incompetence of its Deputy PM. Brandis has lied and mislead his way through the Senate on more occasions than I can recall. This accusation against Penny Wong is an attempt to defuse the heat that is on the Govt and Joyce and its majority. Brandis is an evil man and it bears repeating, the NZ Labour Party in Opposition has denied the Fairfax suggestion the it was penny Wong’s staffer who initiated the contact and they insist it was the Australian media. I do not know what game Fairfax is is playing but it is very dangerous.

    We have seen this type of attack from the Conservative Coalition many times before, most of it behind the protection of the immunity of
    the HOR and the Senate. I was disgusted and upset by this latest smearing of one of its opponents, Their time is fast coming when Lady Karma does her stuff.
    Shame on you Brandis and Turnbull and the rest of your rabble, SHAME!!!

  19. Florence nee Fedup

    Could the mateship Australian men are so proud of be a tendency towards being gay?

  20. Max Gross

    Australians cannot afford another TWO YEARS of this incompetent, self-entitled and malicious LNP rabble! How the hell can we force a new election NOW?

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