What interesting times!
Just last night, I was thinking how Barnaby had stuffed up by not actually checking that he was a dinky di Aussie through and through. All right, I know that being born here normally qualifies you, but when you’re not a third generation on both sides of the family tree then merely listening to “Australia All Over” with Macca on Sundays may not be enough to ensure that you’re qualified to sit in Parliament in these troubled days. And, even though Bananaby has never shown any inclination to barrack for the All Blacks – or even partial ones – he surely should have thought to check that he wasn’t actually a citizen of the Long White Cloud. I know that sounds harsh, but remember what Mr Joyce told us about those Green senators who suddenly discovered their dual citizenship:
“I think you just have got to do your homework and make sure you’re not a citizen of two countries when you stand for parliament. That’s basically it. Larissa said she believed that was not the case and I am sure that would be the outcome for Scott Ludlam. But unfortunately ignorance is not an excuse, you’re in strife!”
However, what I didn’t realise was that unlike all the things that Malcolm and his Menagerie stand ready to take the blame for, this one was nothing to do with the government. No, this time it was Labor’s fault.
Now you have to admit that this has been a government of no surprises and no excuses, just like Abbott promised before his lack of excuses led to his unsurprising axing, so if they are telling us that it’s Labor’s fault, well, we should certainly listen. I mean they’ve never tried to blame Labor before, so for those of you who haven’t been paying attention, it’s sort of like this:
Yes, Barnaby is a dual citizen but he didn’t know, so he shouldn’t be blamed. The Greens didn’t know either, but they should have known because they’re not as busy as Mr Joyce and should have taken the time to check. Because Mr Joyce didn’t know, Malcolm Turnbull has assured us that the High Court will rule that Section 44 is a silly section and we should just ignore it if the person says they didn’t know. And, it’s Labor’s fault because if they hadn’t committed treason by asking that shady organisation, the New Zealand Labour Party, to ask about it in their Parliament, nobody else would have known either and there wouldn’t be any threat to the Australian government and we wouldn’t have to ask Peter Dutton if there’s any way to get his new department to raid the Labor Party offices like they did when national security was breached by someone giving them access to the NBN data. Yes, as Julie Bishop told us, her government will find it hard to work with NZ Labour should they win the upcoming election because they actually asked a question which threatens to destabilise Malcolm Turnbull’s hold on power, and this could lead to an election before she’s had a chance to convince the party that she’s a better bet than Peter Dutton to lead the next campaign.
Someone did suggest that to blame Labor for this was akin to suggesting that you only lost your driver’s licence because of the person who conspired with the policeman so that he gave you a breath test. And that this was outrageous and nothing to do with the fact that you were driving erratically. That’s a silly analogy because Barnaby does most things erratically and I’m sure that his red face is just because he’s not used to the Australian sun.
And speaking of road rules, Kevin Andrews is apparently worried about them. Last night, while discussing marriage equality… It’s all right. I’m not from the ABC, I can use the phrase “marriage equality”… Kevin Andrews told Sky News last night that he not only had an affectionate relationship with Sam, one of the presenters, but that he also had an “affectionate relationship” with his “cycling mates” with whom he goes “cycling” on the weekend, but that the law had “no place in those sort of relationships”. However, my understanding is that these cycling people should not be riding more than two abreast according to the law, but Mr Andrews seems to be advocating a change to allow them to ride all over the road. Of course, he didn’t actually say it, but we know that he and his “cycling mates” try to keep to the right while the law – and political correctness – insists that they stay on the left side.
Anyway, my wife and I were planning a trip to New Zealand later this year, so I hope that the break in diplomatic relations won’t leave us stranded there. Or taken into custody as possible enemy agents when we return. I guess we could change our travel plans and go somewhere like Russia so that Malcolm, or whoever’s there by then, won’t use the legislation about travelling to a war zone to arrest us!