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How Tony Won Me Back! He’s Become A Socialist!!

Image compliments of http://www.okayteaproductions.com

“We will socialise decisions before we finalise them and that way we’re more likely to take the people with us!” says Tony Abbott after winning the motion against the spill in a landslide.

Actually, I’m not a socialist. I’m planning to become ridiculously wealthy by exploiting the poor…

Mm, maybe I’d be better to exploit the rich. They have more money. Unfortunately, they’re less reluctant to part with it. Even when confronted with the good cause of making me richer than Rupert Murdoch so I can buy up his company and sack him!

Anyway, I’ve decided to support Tony after all that he said today, because I feel that he’s given me a clear idea of what he intends to do.

What specifically?

Um…

Well, I already know that he has a plan. Even if he’s kept it from most of Australia… And, apparently most of the Liberal MPs, too.

But his plan is a thing of the past. And as he said, “Good Government starts today…”

Or was it tomorrow on “Back To Work, Tuesday”?

I prefer to look for positives, because I’ve decided to get behind Tony for the good of the country because the last thing we need is the sort of division that comes from the sort of people who are leaners, rather than learners and Tony tells us that he’s certainly learned from the last few weeks. Or was it months? We shouldn’t judge a first term PM too harshly, because after all he’s still learning.

So what exactly are the positives?

Um…

Ah…

Well, he did say that they hadn’t become the Labor Party. Surely that’s a positive. I mean, any Liberal Party that doesn’t become the Labor Party is still the Liberal Party, even though Tony may have socialised decisions instead of privatising them like any decent Liberal would.

“I can understand people’s anxieties, but the point that I’ve been making to my colleagues is that I am a fighter.”

 

Gee, I thought that the Liberals were all about getting all warm and cuddly and not fighting any more. But clearly, Tony knows best.

Perhaps, he should just forget about all this spill nonsense and offer to go five rounds in the ring with anyone prepared to challenge him.

 

 

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12 comments

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  1. Mike

    Good one Ross now I’m dizzy, but yep spot on again

  2. Rossleigh

    Thanks, Mike…
    I suspect that may be because Tony has turned everyone’s head in ways nobody expected…
    Still, apparently he knows what he’s doing.

    Now.
    He’s learned from his time in office.
    Unlike the Labor Party who never seemed to learn that he was the best peron to be PM.

  3. Kerri

    He’s turned my head like Blair in The Exorcist!
    But seriously! Tony is a Leopard!
    Always has been! Always will be!

  4. paul walter

    Yes, his time in office has “learned” him, good and hard.

  5. Graham Houghton

    His performance in parliament today shows he has learned precisely nothing; but that’s not surprising, is it? It was the same old gargoyle – the plan, whatever that is; Labor’s fault – what, the last sixteen months? Attack, Attack, Attack! Nothing of any substance; no calm considered expalanation of ‘the plan’; no rhetoric, just vicious and vacuous snide remarks and blaming others. Nothing has changed and it never will. Just the leader of the opposition on the government benches all over again. He is incapable of change. Abbott, we are not stupid and what’s more we can read your body language instinctively: we know when we are looking at a liar and a bully. As a kid I came across you in the schoolyard so many times and not once did the bully ever achieve anything worthwhile. Many ended up doing time for one thing or another – threatening behaviour – you know punching walls, that sort of thing; vandalism, for which, naturally, you don’t have a recorded conviction; sexual assault (of course you are not guilty of that, god forbid a good catholic like you), it was all there. But what about your citizenship, son? Are you lying about that, too? Because that’s six months banged-up and there are some far tougher bastards than you in there. Grow up,resign, and let decency, rationality, humanity and intelligence restore this nation to what it was before you destroyed it.

  6. Annie B

    Good article again Ross … ta muchly.

    And well done – Graham Houghton. You have nailed many observations, in a nutshell.

    This fool will never learn, because he simply does not WANT to … all too hard. He knows best ( bhaahaahah ) …. going 5 rounds with anyone who challenges him – I might pay a dollar or two to see that !!!

    A bully of the first order, who – after having 40% of his own party turn their back on him, STILL cannot get his stupid head around not repeating crap from the previous 521 days of his non-productive tenure.

    Immediately launched back into : ” We are not Labor ” – and associated crapola.

    Guess we can be thankful for small mercies ….. that he and his cronies are indeed, NOT Labor. !! 🙂

  7. patsy

    wow graham Houghton….what a brilliant observation of tony abbott…..the man who would be king…..well you are spot on when you said the people are not stupid but it looks like his team are……why did they just all stand up and be countered instead of a secret ballot…..they hid behind it….frightened for themselves not for the country !!!!!!!!

  8. Awabakal

    Tony Abbott has a maze brain and if you try to follow his thoughts and explanations you are going to follow one of the paths in his head and eventually you will come to a hide, the secret place that leads onto another trail of thought and eventually another hide and around and around you go. It is the definition of Loopy.

  9. stephentardrew

    Just fish into the grab bag of trite one liners and randomly connect together to suit the occasion. Fill in the gaps with stutters and pregnant pauses while trying to find some marginally coherent link between them. You can see his brain (oxymoron) searching out excuses regardless of the facts. Facts, after all, are rubbery malleable things suited to our narcissistic self-interests.

  10. Aortic

    Has he learned? You bet you are.

  11. diannaart

    I am simply amazed that the mighty god, Neocon, didn’t stab Abbott with a bolt of lightening when he uttered the word “socialise”, amazed Abbott even knew how to pronounce it a well as a vague idea of what it meant apart from “run for your lives, reds under the beds”.

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