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It was all a con

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The Liberals Have A Plan!

Ok, here’s a brief summary of the Liberal position over the past seven years.

2013: Debt and deficit disaster. It’s only by having a surplus that we get economic growth. We have a PLAN for JOBS AND GROWTH and to bring your energy prices down. IT’S ONLY BY HAVING GROWTH THAT YOU HAVE JOBS. NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!

2014: We’re fixing Labor’s debt and we’ll have a surplus soon. We’re implementing our PLAN for JOBS AND GROWTH.

2015: We’re on track for a Budget Surplus and Jobs and Growth, we just need a change of leadership to help sell our message.

2016: We’ll have a Budget Surplus after the election thanks to the JOBS and Growth.

2017: We’re going really well, and we’re now including a plan for bringing down your energy prices as well as a JOBS, JOBS, JOBS plan which is thanks to the growth in the economy.

2018: National energy guarantee. We intend to develop a plan to get power prices under control and to make power more reliable and we’re going to do this by replacing our leader so we can have an even better plan.

2019 (pre-election): We will deliver jobs and growth after the election when we’ve kept our promise of delivering the FIRST SURPLUS this century. We are such good economic managers and once we’ve been re-elected we’ll give you our plan for getting energy prices down, down, down and making supply more reliable.

2019 (post election): Jobs are our number one priority and we’ll announce our energy policy as soon as we’ve worked out what to do with the promises we made when we thought that Labor would be the government. But, hey, JOBS will follow our tax cuts in a few years, so that will lead to growth. And we’re still on track for that surplus.

2020: PANDEMIC! All bets and the budget is off. Forget the surplus, forget growth. Now it’s JOBS, JOBS, JOBS. Jobs are our priority and we intend to be pragmatic and to forget all about the idea of a surplus because an economy in this much trouble needs a lot of stimulus so we won’t have a surplus until we’ve got jobs, jobs, jobs which will give us growth but until then forget the surplus we intend to have a bigger deficit this year than Labor left in terms of total debt.

But hey, JOBS, JOBS, JOBS.

And growth?

Look we’ve always said that it’s only by having jobs that you have growth, so that’s why we’re giving concessions to business in the hope that they start employing people they don’t need in order to create growth.

People have suggested doing something about climate change or putting more funding into childcare…

Don’t be ridiculous. Where would the money come from?

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  1. Charles Oliver

    I’m still waiting for the job bonanza and the trickle down effect after 7 years of diminishing living standards. The LNP are all talk with no action – the biggest conmen ever.

  2. ajogrady

    As far as con artists go they never give a sucker an even break and believe that there is a sucker born every minute. The con artists and shysters of the L/NP must feel like they are living in a fools paradise the way the Australian voter votes against their own best interests. A fool and his money is easily parted. In Australia a voter is easily
    fooled and their vote is easily parted..

  3. wam

    Are you sure?? Have you checked? Scummo is in queensland talking about jobs jobs jobs I wonder if they are jobs from penalty rate cuts?? Perhaps they are returning from campbell’s cockups? or from adani?
    Nah just lnp bullshit to go with car rego xmas gift of $300 What a come done from the rabbott’s gift from the carbon price abolition too the women who do the ironing?????
    Shit even the thickest of qldlanders could smell that poop, eh? Anna will bolt in

  4. Gangey1959

    You aksed the question at the top “What has changed?”

    A : Only the ever enlarging deficit (for negative result) every time a howard lite government has been elected, the amount of rorting and consequent bullshit fed to We the Voter by both those in power and the voldemurdoch press, and the ever widening gap between reality and liberal politicians.

    When, in the run-up to the 2019 election, scottyfromadvertising was spouting off about a “fair go for those who have a go” he was obviously talking about himself in his role as the “newest” pm. He was having a go, and therefore needed a fair go.
    His workmates all jumped on the wagon and decided that what is fair for one is free-for-all, and look where that got everything.
    Oh. Nothing in the papers and on the telly about water rorts, sports rorts, trips to hawaii, indue card? Goddam, I must have been dreaming.
    Now that’s a fair go.
    The ruby princess and a few hundred old people dying in private aged care facilities. Nothing to see here. Not my problem
    “Look over there, bloody dictator Dan is closing down Australia’s economy, stopping you all going to work and killing my jobsandgrowth mantra. Bastard.”
    Now our beloved dealer has had to delve into the magic carpet beg and pull out some instant cash (Don’t rub it too hard, the ink is still wet) in order to kickstart everyones’ interest in risking our health and lives by attempting employment. Don’t worry, fellow Aussies, scotty has it covered, because the aforementioned cash will be distributed via our employers through a few well camouflaged lnp coffer filling schemes called Jobmaker, Jobkeeper, Dividend Topperupperer, Three for One trainee Creator (short term and fast turnover guaranteed) to name a few.
    Apparently coal is still the fuel of the future, but gas is the new bridge sideways because of the wind and sun not always being there, or being to hot/from the north/strong/wrong direction/just plain windy or sunny to be worth throwing any of that new cash at, beside, the press stopped, or the printer bloke got sick, or there was a terrible flood, or the price of electricity/gas was too high to keep it running long enough to print some more, Blame Labor. I don’t know, the newspapers never tell the right story.
    Our national treasure(er) mibrane hertz (Grumpy Geezer came up with that one. 5 Stars) is sure that all of the above will stimulate some activity somewhere, but has neglected 90% of the workforce in his calculations, including the entire Arts industry and anyone older than 35 who as far as I can figure might be termed “Skilled”. Everyone who is comfortably well of gets a big tax cut, with those who are even more comfortable getting a bigger one in another little while. I’m sure the math’s stacks up somehow. I don’t know, I print T Shirts and drive forklifts, but as some measure of their strength the finance minister and senate strongarm enforcer herr bagelwurstmann has quit. AKA “Take my money and run” or “Get out while the gettings good”

    Right now, scottyfromadvertising is in Queensland trying to short sell the labor government there pre election.
    Going to be some interesting headlines in the papers coming up, methinks.
    It’s all Dan Andrews’ fault anyway. He didn’t stop the boat.

  5. Robin Alexander

    PM in Queensland trying to sell his “outstanding personality & notional promises to those Qld voters? Believes voters all bit dumb fall for his salesman banter unknown by him difference between truth & lies! They will fall for my smiling so called gifts cannot resist me my smile”? that’s his view of himself all things to all people! Rather like the devil himself pulling mat from under us all except wealthy! real confidence trickster is what he is!lets hope Queensland voters kick LNP right out QLD ! always remember Labor alone look after workers only party to ever introduce carry through infrastructure building in this country? We must let Labor do what is best for us & our country! LNP are destroying both!

  6. Frank Smith

    Gangey, but this week “It is all Anastacia’s fault. With Jeanette Young’s assistance, she did stop those infected southerners coming up here”. And now I see the flashy white Prime Ministerial limo has just received a new paint job whilst the super salesman was discarding his fluoro tradies jacket and donning a white medical uniform so that he could attach his smirk to the UQ vaccine candidate. Looks like a skilled job for a spray painter coming up in SE Qld for anyone interested – perhaps an apprentice position to go with it too!

  7. Terence Mills


    The $300 off your car rego is gaining traction in my neck of the Queensland woods !

    Sure it’s pure pork barreling but the pensioners are on to it as are the students both groups find car rego (between $600 and $1000 a year) a considerable impost.

    It’s cynical but very clever marketing to say that **you haven’t been able to use your car during COVID so we are going to give back some of you hard earned and we are helping to kickstart the state economy ! **

    It ticks all the boxes.

    The downside is that you end up with Deb Freckles as Premier until the backroom boys decide to flip her.

  8. Frank Smith

    And Scummo is “rescued” at UQ by a Police paddy wagon! Most un-Prime Ministerial, but perhaps in keeping with his confected “Daggy Dad” image. The Courier Mail and the rest of the Murdoch Press are going to have a field day.

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