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The high achievers of the Abbott Government who should keep their Ministries!

Below is a short list of Ministers – the high achievers – who should keep their positions after the reshuffle.

Minister for Women. OK, let’s start with Mr Abbott himself. As Minister for Women he’s responsible for a number of achievements:

  • His signature paid parental leave scheme which was so good that we couldn’t afford it.
  • As he reminded us, removing the carbon tax enabled the women of Australia to use electricity for their ironing instead of warming it on the stove.
  • Stopping the boats which was good for everyone, even women.
  • Commenting on the popularity of women when they were working surrounded by men.
  • Encouraging them to take scholarships in fashion courses.

Minister for Education: Christopher Pyne has also been a high achiever. Recently he announced changes to the Australian Curriculum which promise a greater emphasis on phonics, as well as a greater emphasis on the benefits of Western civilization and Anzac Day. I’m shore u’ll awl agree that fonnix helps stewdents to spel evareethink crektly. Wuns thay spell werds as they sownd, then nowun will complain about bad spelling eny moor. But Pyne has been an achiever from the moment he took over the portfolio proudly boasting that he hadn’t read the Gonski report, giving confidence to all those students who attempt essays without reading their English texts.

The Attorney General:  George Brandis, the quiet underachiever. George may have ignored tradition in this portfolio by failing to defend the court system when those “vigilantes” held up a coal mine by resorting to the unfair tactic of using the existing law, but that’s not the only thing he hasn’t done. The list is quite long and, honestly, you’d have more hope of getting through the books in his library, which is another reason to keep him  in his current position. Moving his bookshelves again could jeopardise the Budget which is on a path to sustainable surplus sometime after the return of Halley’s comet.

Minister For Employment: He’s hardly been a quiet achiever, not only has he been busy with his portfolio, but he’s had an opinion on same sex marriage and the links between breast cancer and abortions. Of course, you all know that I’m talking about the erudite Eric Abetz. OK, he may be a bit left wing for his uncle Otto and Andrew Bolt but, in case you’ve forgotten, among his achievements are this change to “red tape”:

After streamlining, employers will no longer have to report on:

  • CEO remuneration

  • remuneration of casual managers

  • components of total remuneration

  • numbers of job applications and interviews, and

  •  requests and approvals for extended parental leave.

And, of course, last but not leased … and certainly not for sale, the man who professed his loyalty to Abbott right to the very end, we have

Treasurer: Joe Hockey has put us on a path to sustainable surplus. Or so the Liberals keep telling us. Considering we were a basket case just two years ago, Joe’s measures have put us back on track in extraordinarily quick time. Particularly when those nasty senators wouldn’t even allow a number of his vital Budget measures. How can a miracle worker like that be dumped?

Apart from that, I suggest that Mr Turnbull should spill all other positions and draw names out of a hat for ministry positions.

Let’s face it, he couldn’t do much worse than Abbott’s attempts at choosing a ministry.

 

18 comments

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  1. keerti

    I suspect the egomaniacle wanker will outdo abut (has anyone heard of him in the last day or so?) and make himself minister for everything.

  2. stephentardrew

    It amazes me that Labor will not take the bullies by the horn any simply state the budget can never be balanced because it would choke off the money supply. The big bad debt is a myth. Abbott rode the debt to the last election and Labor need a counter attack that challenges orthodoxy. You have to lead not follow. Sustainable surplus rot.

    As for Turnbull a weak compromised sellout. He has doomed himself from the start. NBN will come back to bite. Labor should make a lot more of our small Debt to GDP ratio to prove what and absolute lie the L-NP government is. Forget the fear shit about Turnbull just strike out headlong with the facts. Turnbull will only get kudos as a, so called, intelligent conservative if the left, the Labor party and media let him get away with it. It amazes me this fear of Turnbull when he is so vulnerable at so many levels. Give a fool respect and you undermine your position. Damn Labor is full of a lot of unimaginative fools.

    Just watch how he oozes with doubt and a lack of confidence while the face plays the authoritative mask of control. He has sold his values out on so many issue he is actually totally vulnerable. Damn the labor party seem to have a complete lack of psychological insight into the motivations and weaknesses of their enemy. If Shorten does not attack hard and consistently now he is lost. Twelve months is not long to set a cohesive well articulated agenda.

  3. Neil of Sydney

    Labor should make a lot more of our small Debt to GDP ratio

    Well it is not that small. Australia is a Federation. Federal, State and local govt debt is approx 30% of GDP and could easily double.

    Would be really nice if the ALP could pay off some debt for once but i have never seen it Our Federal govt debt is still relatively low because Howard/Costello ran surplus budgets. Our Federal debt would be at 60% of GDP and exploding if Keating had won the 1996 election.

  4. stephentardrew

    Same old mantra Neil have look at the international comparisons or do I have to do that for you.

  5. paul walter

    What a sad tale the list tells..what a despicable group of individuals.

    Canning teaches us, no bad deed goes unrewarded.

  6. rossleighbrisbane

    Gee, Neil, still talking about Labor and not praising the Liberals for their strong, stable government. Is it that you realise that nobody could support Joe Hockey as Treasurer because of the enormous debts he’s running up?

  7. Peter F

    Neil; You admit that “Our Federal govt debt is still relatively low because Howard/Costello ran surplus budgets” but ignore the fact that it has climbed since Hockey became treasurer. How long would you wait before admitting that Hockey was a failure

  8. Terry2

    Not to mention Peter Dutton – whoops sorry about that !

    He must have had some naughty photos of Abbott to explain his appointment and disastrous term as Health Minister, quickly followed with an equally disastrous term as Immigration Minister.

    A seven percent swing against the Liberals is a great result in Canning, evidently, and candidate Hastie is going to pursue his campaign against the spread of Ice in WA : perhaps he thinks he has been elected to state parliament.

    “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
    “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
    “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
    “You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
    ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

  9. Kaye Lee

    Apparently Mal Brough wants health. All is to be forgotten about Ashbygate it seems.

  10. gangey1959

    Obviously neil (tonyabigbutt) of Sydney is bitter sitting on the backbench when it is obvious he still wants to be king.
    When the swap portfolios like the shearers in “The Shearer’s Dream” anyway, “draughting them round like sheep” anyway, why not pull names from a hat. To which address do I send mine ? I’ve got some expertise in a number of areas, and I’m not doing anything productive. I’d be perfect. And I promise not to rort the system.

    As long as I don’t have to sit next to ta, or pduddy, or erica, or………

    PS Congrats to the people of Canning for the swing against the lnp. It was always going to be tough to oust the lnp. Some leadership and direction from Canberra would have helped.

  11. Kaye Lee

    The ex de facto PM and self-proclaimed highest achiever has decreed she “did the best job in the world and has no regrets”.

    After 16 years behind the scenes in federal politics, I think it is time to find my own voice,” she said.

    “I gave my all to win from opposition by a vote of the Australian people, the honourable way, rather than a ‘Game of Thrones’ attack,” she said.

    http://www.theshovel.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/gillard-dirt-file-2.png

  12. Kate M

    Great video Kaye 🙂

  13. Terry2

    “Ms Credlin told News Corp she is proud of the work she did while in parliament and has no bitterness towards her critics”

    So, is Peta saying that she is leaving politics – do we need a bi-election ?

    Wait a minute, which seat does she hold ?

  14. Kaye Lee

    Kate,

    I so hate the holier-than-thou crap. “I did it the honourable way” my ass.

    Terry,

    The pretention of the woman astounds.

    http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/1/3/a/x/f/n/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.13ai2g.png/1424748917915.jpg

  15. Möbius Ecko

    The MSM at it again, most of all the ABC. Without fail they are reporting the 2PP swing to Labour as 6%, most making that margin as being insignificant and expected because of the death of a sitting member.

    First the swing is 6.9%, so why round it nearly a point down?

    Second why don’t they mention that nearly 7% is double the average for a swing for a by-election on the death of a sitting member?

    Lastly why not mention the primary vote swing to Labor?

  16. Jexpat

    The ABC has become astonishingly untrustworthy (count the times Antony Green has gotten it off the deep end wrong) -to the point of overt liberal bias over the past several elections.

    I’ll never forget the time six months ago, when ABC and its commentators were crowing 52% 48% LINP Queensland at 6:00 pm on election day!

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