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The FauxMo Road Show

FauxMo has now returned from his one man band tour to Washington. Invited by the orange PT Barnum (“there’s a sucker born every minute”) our be-spectacled, chubby PM No Friends was vaporous at the prospect of playing dress-ups with the richest kid in school. It’s rumoured that he even shat his pants with excitement.

Morrison flatters himself that he’s a master marketer, a puller-off (now, now) of miracles, so it will be interesting to see to what extent he’ll borrow from his new, orange BFF’s grab bag of grift and graft and sleight of hand trickery.

Morrison was too star-struck to realise that Trumplethinskin had jizzed all over his back simply to admire his own reflection … the Narcissist In Chief has no interest in Morrison other than as a compliant rent boy and stooge, someone with whom to taunt China, an urger to back-up the cowardly schoolyard bully’s bluster on Iran. Morrison was the ideal dupe for Trump’s flagrant schmooze, willingly jeopardising our relationship with our biggest trading partner and risking entanglement in another counter-productive Middle Eastern conflict in exchange for a photo op and a tickle behind the ear.

Despite his smug self-belief FauxMo is a lightweight; a vacuous phony, a fatuous, hollow vessel who seeks validation from prosperity gospelling hucksters. How did he imagine that his knee-bending to a malignant narcissist and sex predator would play out at home? Did he imagine that blowing The Donald would add some gravitas to his faked image? Why did he think that being cheered by a rabid rabble of slope-headed MAGAs at a cardboard box factory would be a good look?

Macca Dakka

And who in their right mind would schedule in for the 2019 FauxMo Bend-over Tour a photo-op of Skidmark in front of a MacDonald’s drive-through sign at a Chicago innovation hub?

Image from

The Engadine Maccas dak-shatting saga is a source of wide bemusement and there can be little doubt that the Americans’ intel on Skiddy includes his infamous brown-out at the southern suburbs junkfood emporium, so somewhere some anonymous jokester in the White House logistics team is having a bit of a laugh at our incontinent PM’s expense. How the actual fluck did this not raise a red flag with the self-styled master marketer?

It’s also noteworthy that the PM of the Liberal Party (the destroyers of a functional NBN and saboteurs of clean energy initiatives, the dig-it-up-and-ship-it-out Luddites) thinks that a junk food drive through menu represents worthwhile innovation. FMD!

FauxMo’s take-aways

Did Shatty think he’d look good in comparison to the gaga MAGA? Was there an element of playing up to Oz’s own happy clapping Armageddon-rich gravy-trainers, a reliable cohort of fraudsters whose talent for bilking the gormless, the dull-eyed, the callow and the just plain greedy is a template for our prime faecal-spreader’s behaviour?

Does the huge pool of religious Trumper whackos in the US offer a potential source of additonal funding for the god-botherer infested Lying Nasty Party? Morrison’s draft guest list for the shindig was said to have included a close mentor, wealth accumulation consultant and CEO of Mammonites For Jesus Inc. Why would that be? Lifting the profile of a god-for-profit shonk in the huge market that is land of the free and easily duped is my guess.

But what are the take-aways from the tour for FauxMo? Trump’s chutzpah with his constant and blatant lying must’ve impressed our Liar From The Shire who, while perfectly at ease with his own pork pies, has seen first hand that opportunity exists to ramp it up a few notches.

FauxMo’s “Canberra bubble” and “gossip” is a tad more nuanced than Trump’s “fake news” but I have bet a round of beers that FauxMo will test the waters by letting that term slip from his smirky lips real soonish.

What’s he up to?

The Liberal Party’s dirty tricks have included the wedge and dog-whistle since the dark days of John The Lying Rodent Howard as has the ideology of divide and conquor. Australia’s more enlightened compulsory turn-up-to-vote system means that our pollies do not need to encourage their ragged fringes to vote with some shameless appeals to bigotry … but yet that is the trajectory that the Libs are on. They’ll go the full Hanson should the nightmare of a Trump 2020 victory materialise.

Fear, uncertainty and doubt (the FUD factor) is another Tory tradition – it served FauxMo well in 2019 with a fall-over-the-line win. Will that close call motivate a further slide to the RWNJ practices of victimisation and ostracism of easy targets? Of course it will. The only issue is whether they will find inspiration in Trump’s megaphone tactics;

Trump’s MAGAs are FauxMo’s “quiet Australians” – querulous, easily frightened and hence easily manipulated. Slogans not policies; not vision, not action but a dulled, gulled “silent majority” – it works here (taxes) just as well as it does in the Land Of The Introspection-Free (guns).

With FUD comes authoritariansim. A fearful public is a compliant public and both the LNP and the GOP are ardent practitioners albeit in different ways. Here the Tories raid unions, journalists and the ABC whereas that could not happen in the U.S. But authoritarianism presents FauxMo with an image problem.

Our shape shifting pants shitter contrived an image for himself of a typical suburban goofy dad – gobbin’ pies and kneckin’ beers at the footie and mounting machinery at factories and farms. It fooled enough of the dupes and the stupid to get him over the line so does he keep up the charade and dispense with his moth-balled shouty hardman persona, the tough talking jailer, the demoniser of dusky hordes?

He’s got a Howardesque rat cunning – he signed off on the shivving of Malcolm Turnbull but made sure he had no fingerprints on the weapon nor blood stains on his shirt but how will he now further manipulate his image? ‘Bloated, dysfunctional, orange narcissist’ won’t make the short list I’m sure and Spud-Dutton has copyrighted the fascist dictator persona.

I’m thinking a paternalistic cross between Pig Iron Bob Menzies and Joh Bjelke-Petersen wrapped in some good ol’ Trumpian razza-matazz is a theme that would appeal to him. If it doesn’t come off and Spud goes in for the kill he can always get a job at Engadine Maccas as a bucket boy.

See also:

A closer look at Scott Morrison’s CV – Crikey

Engadine Macca’s rumour – KIIS

This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. Jack Cade

    For all my contempt for US politics, I can’t help wondering where the LNP would be if they hadn’t stashed the country’s entire infrastructure with ex-LNP staffers, MPs and failed candidates. No chance of a conscience-stricken whistle-blower here. And the US press has at least a fair few non-partisan, fearless news outlets. More than I realised before I started watching YouTube. The last federal election weaned me off The Insiders, which had been my usual Sunday breakfast entertainment but which i have watched only once since the election.

  2. Phil Pryor

    I have not seen or heard media rubbish like Insiders or the abc Monday night farce, ( is it Q and I?) because token nazis witrh set speeches on dogma turn up to pollute the public intellect, if there ever was one. The big show now is the Moronathon, a regular bowel cleansing lie fest from the liar from the shiar. Since public education began, the 1870’s, and on, electric printing produced the mass dogshit papers, thus the media barons, thus more political perversion than ever.The immoral swelling inflation into public awareness of advertising means that people are subjected to unwanted , distorted, irrelevant, lying images thousands of times per day. So, the promise of enlightenment, reason, honesty, purity, scientific analysis, purity of research, all these things have been corrupted beyond sense. And Corporate giganticism is behind it all. Power and money is the stud, the penis, the herd controller. None of the big egos of the world want it different, for each triumph in financial betterment by any means is great, they feel; get up, is getting it in, everywhere, first, dominating the theory of genes and permanency and eternity. Ordinary people are stuffed, literally, by the subliminal intrusion of the dominating, ruling, order giving, controlling classes. The Murdoch types spray it as they say it, we are the winners. But, fight against this conservative corporate control for our lives and our planet.

  3. Kaye Lee

    “FauxMo is a lightweight;”

    That’s why Trumplethinskin (love it) labelled Morrison “titanium” man.

    “Despite being as strong as steel, titanium is about 40 percent lighter in weight. Having a low modulus of elasticity means that titanium is not also very flexible, but returns to its original shape after bending.”

  4. Grumpy Geezer

    I’ve always thought of him in non-metallic terms Kaye; as may be apparent.

  5. wam

    It is difficult to disagree with your sentiments
    But these words
    Why did he think that being cheered by a rabid rabble of slope-headed MAGAs at a cardboard box factory would be a good look?
    form the saddest sentence I remember reading on this site.
    The extreme ming supporters of last century used slopes to vilify the vietnamese.for their appearance.
    Worse than the insults is these ‘rabid rabble’ are people who have just got jobs they are workers.

    Wage earners, ust like the qld coal workers that senile boobby and his rabble of pointy head loonies
    Yes narrownose got millions from the action but labor lost and the loonies are irrelevant in canberra,
    Adani has not been stopped, scummo has power by the two seats in queensland and the lnp still owns the greatest anti-labor slogan. ‘labor and the lunatics’

  6. paul walter

    Phil Pryor, It has hard tack copping the drone Paul Fletcher on QA, but he so antagonised the rest of that panel with his ridiculous, nasty lies, that the entire panel turned on him. Needless to say he is originally from an oxymoronically named “think tank? from the right, the CIS.

    As for Morrison, we know that Trump called him the “tin man”, lifeless and weak.

  7. Kaye Lee

    “Adani has not been stopped”

    Adani has not been started as far as I am aware. Today is the day when they are supposed to sign off on a royalties agreement – commercial-in-confidence of course – but in order to get a deferrment, they have to have a plan for others to use their railway.

    “The deferment framework is meant to be contingent on provision of multi-user infrastructure, and that needs to be regulated by QCA, They said they have not been contacted by anyone about this.”

    There is a real danger that we could end up subsidising a rail line that would ultimately be a foreign-owned, unregulated monopoly asset.

  8. Bronte ALLAN

    Another great article Grumpy Geezer! I wish I had your ability to “tell it like it is”. Sadly, SloMo & all of his lying, flat earth, climate change denying, obscenely wealthy, happy clapper rabble really do think they are born to rule. I fear for the future of our world IF fcking Trumpet gets in again in 2020, & & I fear for Australia, IF SloMo & his ilk get in again next election. BASTARDS the lot of them!

  9. Paul Davis

    Two excellent reads in two days, one by the inimitable Grumpy Geezer and the other by Greg Jericho in the Guardian. Both covering similar territory, one colourful with extraordinary imagery and humour but both factual, shooting straight from the hip and each hitting the bullseye.

    It is gratifying to know that there is a small corp of honest journalist and commentator ‘guerrillas’ willing to shout out against the tsunami of Orwellian ducktalk quacked by the MSM shills. And don’t get me started on those sellout whoring boys and girls from My ABysmal, may as well watch DarkSky.

    Thank you AIMN for providing another platform for the truth.

    So many keen observations from GG’s essay above, but this one really hits home:

    “Thumplethinskin….the Narcissist In Chief has no interest in Morrison other than as a compliant rent boy and stooge, someone with whom to taunt China, an urger to back-up the cowardly schoolyard bully’s bluster on Iran. Morrison was the ideal dupe for Trump’s flagrant schmooze, willingly jeopardising our relationship with our biggest trading partner and risking entanglement in another counter-productive Middle Eastern conflict in exchange for a photo op and a tickle behind the ear.”

  10. wam

    Those who argued with boobby, in Townsville, did so on the basis of 7250 direct and indirect jobs in Adani. These were the ‘voters’ who took labor’s two seats.
    I find it amazing that labor people, like Kaye, not only do not criticise the timing and route of the caravan but also ignore the success of his trip in two of the three aims.
    Kaye how effective was boobby’s loonies? Perhaps, you think adani wont start till the coal goes?
    Albo give the loonies a miss and go to the aid of the workers who support this cesspool by giving them the arguments against the shit slogans of the right. An occasional appearance on the real watched morning shows would help.

  11. Kaye Lee

    I am not a “Labor person” for starters. I do not share your hatred of the Greens which I find borders on obsession. I have no problem with people protesting about things with which they disagree. I find your name-calling puerile. I don;t care about politics, I care about policy, and I think you will find that the majority of the country agree that we should not open any new coal mines.

    I hope that clears up your confusion though somehow I doubt it because you seem too fixated with your own narrative.

  12. Josephus

    Soon enough the vile, bulimic mansions by the water will go under. How then to deal with thousands of climate refugees? We watch the sinister clowns, versions of the creepy McDonald effigy, glued to our screens while yet another iceberg crumbles to our south or north. No god to save us.

  13. paul walter

    silly wam!

    A few hundred jobs at most for a total of subsidies climbing to over $ 4 Billion.

    It is a corrupt Caymans scam and our bent politicians, you watch, are getting their palms greased.

    Stop looking for Magic Puddings and get real.

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