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Tag Archives: Star Wars

Why Tony Abbott Isn’t Darth Vader … Although Christopher Pyne May Be R2-D2!

Another Star Wars movie.

Little did I know when I saw that first one way back in the seventies that I was watching something that would have such staying power.

Of course, it’s obvious in retrospect because it has all the ingredients of a modern myth. Good versus evil. The Force. The Dark Side. The young apprentice learning from the wise Yoda. (I realise that some of the younger readers won’t actually realise this but we used to have apprentices in Australia once.)

And, of course, it’s all about sex. You have that final climax where Luke and the others fly down a long tunnel and shoot their tiny little objects in the hope of hitting that small target. If that’s not a metaphor for sperm hitting the egg, I don’t know what is… I’m not going to make any comment on “Hands Solo” and his big hairy wooky. Or did I spell that wrong? Impossible, phonics means that nobody would ever be illiterate ever again.

Anyway, I was just reflecting on the Liberals and the strange disconnect between gladly welcoming refugees from a camp overseas, while demonising those who came by sea “our boundless plains to share”.

But it’s this capacity to divide things into good and evil that has me thinking. Once someone is defined as evil – in the eyes of many of the Liberal frontbencher – then all rights are forfeit. It’s not a case of I just made a simple mistake. No, you don’t deserve a trial. You deserve incarceration or deportation.

Good people, on the other hand, should always be given the benefit of the doubt. Even after there’s no doubt. That’s why Arthur Sinidinos is back in the ministry and Craig Thom(P)son was a tainted vote.

Of course, the ascension of Turnbull has left all sides of politics a little confused. Parts of the left are breathing a sigh of relief that Abbott’s gone, while pointing out that Turnbull hasn’t actually changed very much. Well… He hasn’t actually changed anything of significance, but one has to impressed with that Cheshire cat grin and the fact that he actually he actually attempts to argue some sort of case rather than working on the assumption that we can all assume that anyone who disagrees with him has already gone over to the Dark Side and can just be ignored.

The Liberals, on the other hand, fall into two camps. Those who are just pleased that Abbott’s gone and Malcolm might actually win the next election and be PM for a long, long time, and those who are pleased that Malcolm might actually win the next election and then they can put Abbott back after they’ve got control of the Senate and they can pass laws which say that any votes against the government can be ignored under the sedition laws which say that it’s a criminal offence to try and bring down the government.

Of course, that sounds far-fetched to a lot of people.

And it is …

Then again, any suggestion that Abbott would reintroduce knights and dames and, not only that, suggest that Prince Phil should go down on one knee to get a tap from Lizzie would have been dismissed as the ramblings of someone with little grip on reality just a llttle over two years ago.

And it’s always interesting what people deny. If you saw this video clip last week, you’ll notice that it was reported Greg Sheridan denied telling people that Abbott is going around saying that second Abbott government will be better that the first!

However, you’ll notice that he’s denying what he allegedly said, not the part about Abbott going around saying that!

If this was Star Wars, what would they call it?

Abbott The Second Coming. (Nah, too religious.)

Abbott Strikes Back!

Return of The Shit!

Whoops, typo there.

Should be “Return of the Sith”.