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Spinach or shit?

A friend recently sent me a classic Tweet:

‘Voting for Tony Abbott because you don’t like Julia Gillard is like eating shit because you hate spinach’.

Fine, some people don’t like Gillard (spinach). They don’t like her voice. They don’t like her hair. They don’t like her glasses. They don’t like her boyfriend. They don’t like her marriage status. They don’t like her lack of religion. They don’t like her gender. They don’t like her. Fine. Some people are unhappy with some of Labor’s policies. I get it. It’s absolutely understandable that you don’t like everything the Labor party does. Neither do I. I like most of it. And I like some of it very much. But not all of it. Big deal. The odd thing is, every time these shit-eaters are asked why they are eating shit, they just go on and on about hating spinach. It’s quite irrational.

Let me say first up, I quite like spinach, especially with feta, so this is an easy choice for me. But there do seem to be quite a few people in Australia who are absolutely hell bent on rejecting the healthy spinach option, and haven’t even considered the side effects of eating shit instead. Let’s have a closer look at the alternatives in a few important areas of political policy.

Climate policy

There has been a lot of fascination over the last few years in Gillard’s determination to bring in an ETS, and her supposed lie of bringing in a Carbon Price instead. Never mind that Gillard quite clearly is doing what she promised, and bringing in an ETS, with the Carbon Price used in the interim to compromise with the Greens to form a minority government. Either way, if you’re a shit-eater who hates the Carbon Price, have you ever had a look at the shit alternative?

Ever heard of Abbott’s Direct Action Policy? In this fantastic post on the Political Sword, Ad astra asks some very good questions about this shit policy. It’s probably not your fault that you know little about Direct Action, considering how pathetic the mainstream media’s scrutiny of this policy has been. But if you can’t be bothered seeking it out, and haven’t even thought about the alternative once the Carbon Price is ‘axed’, it’s important that you know you are not being offered zero action against climate change. What you are being offered by Abbott is a shit, no details policy that will cost tax-payers $1,300 per household, per year. Considering the bleating about larger electricity bills, you’d think $1,300 per household would raise some eyebrows. And even worse, no one has been able to confirm that this policy will even reduce emissions, when the Carbon Price is already effectively doing this. So Direct Action is expensive and possibly won’t work. It’s funding coal instead of research and development into sustainable energies. It’s bullshit. And Abbott hasn’t even explained how he will fund it. If you’re going to hate the Carbon Price, the least you can do is justify this hatred with a love for Direct Action instead. And if you can’t muster love, at least be informed. Rather than ranting about ‘Gillard lying’ as if this is some sort of critique of the Carbon Price, when deep down it’s clear you don’t believe in climate change and therefore can’t understand why action needs to be taken, at least give it five seconds thought. Have a think about how it will taste to eat shit.


Surely you can see how desperately embarrassed Malcolm Turnbull is of his party’s shit alternative to the Labor government’s National Broadband Network. If Turnbull can’t get excited about a crap alternative to a superior network, why on earth should you be excited about it? Labor’s NBN is going to cost $37.4 billion and will offer super-fast broadband to homes and businesses Australia wide. Turnbull and Abbott’s shit NBN will cost $29.5 billion, and will only supply not as fast broadband, to businesses in metro areas, and households who can afford up to $5,000 to connect. Murdoch is happy with this policy. It keeps his Foxtel TV subscriptions monopolizing the market for many years to come. It’s no wonder the Liberal’s launched their policy at Fox Studios, just to show Rupey how much they care. So you shit-eaters, when Telstra’s copper gives out and you’re left without any broadband, let alone the not so fast version that you paid through the nose to connect to, and when giant fridge units turn up on your pavement, will you at least do us spinach eaters the courtesy of admitting you’ve been eating shit?

Gonski Education Funding Reform

So you’re not happy about the Gonski school funding model? You don’t want extra money from the Federal Government for schools to provide a more equitable standard of education for all Australians, regardless of family wealth? Fine. So what do you think of the alternative? Christopher Pyne, the so called Shadow Education Minister, who wouldn’t recognise a good education if it was gifted to him, claims that:

“too much money has been wasted on reducing class sizes and that instead there should be more focus on the quality of teaching.”

Pyne also thinks the 5 – 15% of teachers, who he describes as ‘not up to scratch’ should be sacked. Apparently he thinks sacking teachers helps education quality. I guess the spinach eaters in this case would have to be those who value the benefits of a good education for all, whereas the shit-eaters just want to see the government cut, slash and burn spending with the selfish hope they’ll be left with a few extra dollars in their pocket each week through a tax break, and if that means larger classes, less teachers and lower quality education system, so be it. Sorry to tell you, those eating shit, that a short term tax decrease at the expense of quality education will just end up costing us all. Please think about this before picking up your spoon.

King of the Scandal

If you relied on the mainstream media for all your news, you might think the Labor party is the party of scandal and smear. You might think the most newsworthy political event in the last twelve months was a nasty misogynist blogger urging an incompetent, biased, idea-free press into beating up a story about the Prime Minister, surrounding unproven wrongdoing by her boyfriend 20 years ago. You might therefore have missed that Abbott was sued this week over his own little slush-fund affair, which he used to destroy the career of his right-wing rival, Pauline Hanson. It’s amazing how the mainstream media and their shit-eating cheer-squad change their tune about truth, public-interest and political scandal when it comes to Tony Abbott and the Liberal Party.

You might also think ex-Liberal Peter Slipper was the most corrupt in James Ashby’s sexual harassment case. Again, the mainstream media would have you believe this to be the case. The mainstream media don’t want you to know that the real rat is Ashby. And Abbott’s pre-selected friend Mal Brough. So while you’re complaining about the problems with spinach, think how silly you’ll look, when you realise just how badly you’ve been duped. Duped by the mainstream media. Duped by the rich vested interests of Gina Rinehart and Rupert Murdoch who have every reason to promote the eating of shit over spinach for their own self-interest.

So you hate Julia Gillard? Can you at least understand why I’m not just asking you to stop eating shit? I’m also asking you to stop forcing others into a shit-eating situation which is not of their own making. Don’t elect Abbott as Prime Minister. I don’t care if you don’t like spinach. Disliking spinach does not justify a vote for Abbott. Grow up and think of the alternative.

UPDATE: Original spinach or shit Tweet was by Geezlouise (@Turlow1)






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  1. JB

    It had to be said. Libs are hoping that their media baron mate has made people so blinded by hatred for Gillard, that they will eat shit without really thinking about it. The scariest comment I hear from people is, “Abbott hasn’t been given a chance yet”. For God’s sake, do some research and decide whether it’s SAFE to give him a chance.
    I’ve managed get some people thinking, and hopefully closer to the election people will start focusing on what’s best for the country instead of popularity contests. At this stage it’s easy for people to root for Libs as they haven’t put much on the table to be scrutinised. They can’t get away with it forever.

  2. Min

    Victoria, excellent post. To add to Christopher Pyne, he also cannot see anything wrong with large class sizes..which of course there will have to be given that his intention is to sack so many teachers.

  3. andyrob65

    Great piece Victoria.

    I see this very often. I have a friend down the local club that said, after a little bit of debate started, “I have voted labor all my life but I just can’t do with her so I won’t be this year”.

    Guess what he reads every day. Daily Telegraph. Yes he is eating shit and I am sure there are so many out there in the same (to stick with the food theme here, Gravy) boat. Worst part is, he doesn’t seem to want to listen. I might print this out (he doesn’t use the internet) and give it to him to have a read. It makes perfect sense to me.

  4. LittleLoudGuy

    Magnificent work Victoria. A metaphor that most will hopefully be able to understand.

  5. Tigs

    Fantastic work Victoria. You are the essence of clarity amongst a sea of heavily biased MSM drivel!

  6. J.Fraser

    A good article pointing out the sins of the “Slick” Abbott cheer squad.

    The only way to fight it is to keep pushing truckloads of “shit” at those who do not know any better.

    “Slick” Abbott’s “Operation Barbarossa” hit communications problems with his Broadband plan and the fuhrer of communications (Mr. 70%) here in Australia is apparently not happy and may have to return to an Australia in the grip of winter and confer an in field promotion on “Slick’ Abbott in a effort to build him up even more.

    Rabid Pyne has been advised to stay in the trenches because the general population has a sneaking suspicion that anything that has the scent of Prime Minister Julia Gillard on it he will utterly destroy …. his hatred of P.M. Gillard knows no bounds.

    Greg Hunt has been advised to get into as little debate as possible on “Direct Action” while at the same time hammering the economy.

    Joe Hockey has been advised to get into as little debate as possible and to keep hammering the economy as much as possible.

    See a pattern emerging here.

    Asking “how”, “when” (this is a tricky one because the “economy” has become the litmus test and Mr. 70% has vilified it even more than boat arrivals) and “why”, leaves most people looking around for the condiments to put on their truckload of “shit”.

    “Has Murdoch made up your mind who to vote for”

    Only for those who think the election is a forgone conclusion and don’t know why they should have to bother turning up to vote.

    Look at how “Operation Barbarossa” turned out.

  7. Michael Taylor

    I have a friend down the local club that said, after a little bit of debate started, “I have voted labor all my life but I just can’t do with her so I won’t be this year”.

    Andy, reveal the traitor! 😉

  8. Ricky (Tory Torcher)

    Most definitely shit…….

    Spinach is delicious, healthy, palatable, good for everyone, gentle on the stomach, green, non offensive, underrated, understated, has a dependable reputation, Is not hyped, Is of this earth, a wise choice, balanced, not highly processed, not synthetically manufactured, contains no artificial additives, is not toxic, Is proven over time, is not genetically modified, is simple and effective, has an impecable reputation, what you see is what you get, works the same for everyone and most importantly does not give you the shits every time you are exposed to it.

    Shit on the other hand is….well

  9. Michael Taylor

    Classic, Ricky.

  10. cuppa

    Abbott would put Australia in the shit.

  11. Dave Hunt

    If only The Daily Telegraph and The Sydney Morning Herald would allow an opinion (read…fact) piece like this to be printed as a balance to Piers Akerman, Miranda Devine, Peter Hartcher, Paul Sheehan…

    Not only would the sensibilities of Abbott’s boot lickers be offended, I wager that a significant number would stop and re-assess their positions.

  12. LOVO

    If MSMLNP’ers eat shit..doesn’t that make them cannibals 😕

  13. lmrh5

    Reblogged this on lmrh5.

  14. Bob Evans

    +1 Victoria and Ricky, that was pretty funny. 😯 😆

  15. Victoria Rollison

    Apologies to anyone who was offended by the image on this post. I had the option of either a shit, or Abbott’s face and I chose the least offensive of the two.

  16. Michael Taylor

    I think you chose wisely, Vic. 😉

  17. andyrob65

    Ricky, excellent…..

    Victoria, right choice I believe!

  18. silkworm

    If MSMLNP’ers eat shit… doesn’t that make them cannibals?


  19. Ricky (Tory Torcher)

    Reminds me of that old cheech and chong skit… hey whats that?, looks like shit, yeah smells like shit , yeah tastes like shit…lucky we didn’t step in it / vote for it

  20. Roberta

    This fantastic of truthfullness should be read by every Aussie otherwise we will be in the shit absolutely!!

  21. Bob Evans

    Abbott’s whole front bench seem to have shit eating grins to me.

  22. kate ahearne

    Lovely stuff, Victoria. I hope you don’t mind, but I ‘borrowed’ David’s wonderful quip for our Quotable Quotes Page.

  23. LOVO

    You are what you eat……so they say 😛

  24. NoPilfer

    Not david ewarts quip – he stole it! check @Turlow1 26 Feb.

  25. J.Fraser

    I posted this earlier :

    “Rabid Pyne has been advised to stay in the trenches because the general population has a sneaking suspicion that anything that has the scent of Prime Minister Julia Gillard on it he will utterly destroy …. his hatred of P.M. Gillard knows no bounds.”

    And today, Sunday, “Slick” Abbott is being reported as saying there is no need for the Gonski reforms because school funding is ok, so “Slick” Abbott’s government will axe it.

    “Slick” Abbott is too “Slick” for Australia.

  26. kate ahearne

    Thanks, NoPilfer. I’ve made the correction on Fair Media Alliance.

  27. Peter

    An Abbott government would be worse than this Gillard govt. But gIving Gillard your first preference vote is to reward a right-wing Labor Government controlled by its right-wing faction and to approve of some terrible policies.

    I do not intend to reward Gillard for:

    – a shameful asylum seeker policy
    – her vile cosying to Christian fundamentalists giving them excemptions to discriminate against gays and lesbians in anti-discrimination legislation
    – Gillard’s opposition to marriage equality (and her internal ALP campaign against it)
    – treatment of single mothers on welfare – and the obscene rhetoric around “ALP’s tough love”
    – reduction in higher education funding
    – awful rhetoric against “foreigners” and its nationalistic strain
    – Gillards advocacy of a ‘no’ vote against Palestine’s observer status at the UN

    I will not give the ALP a first preference vote, I will not give them an opportunity to say Gillard’s socially conservative government has my support.

    I will vote for all progressive parties ahead of the ALP, and only then, will they get my lower preference vote, ahead of the Libs and other conservative parties.

    The only way the ALP will pay attention, is if enough people direct their first preference vote to progressive parties before voting for the ALP.

    By voting for a progressive alternative, you achieve *two* things – telling the ALP you do not approve of their drift to the right, while ensuring your vote continues to keep Abbott at bay.

  28. LOVO

    Peter, So is that an’ around the long’ of saying vote Greens or is there another party(ies) you have in mind??

  29. LOVO

    😳 ‘long WAY’

  30. Michael Taylor

    Love it, Mo.

  31. Möbius Ecko

    Trying to chase up the source Migs but there is some social chatter going around about Abbott having talks with the Liberal States over the GST. We already know the Liberal States want to increase it and it takes all the States and Commonwealth to agree to have that done so it might be on the cards.

    He will have his phony Audit Commission and blame having to increase the GST on Gillard and the ALP.

  32. Möbius Ecko

    Also Newman said the other day after the next Federal election he will sit down with the government and rewrite the Federation. He wouldn’t be saying that if he knew it was the ALP in government so he must have a heads up of changes from Abbott.

  33. Peter

    @Lovo. Too often, any criticism of the ALP is seen as support for the Libs. As though the Australian polity is a binary choice – it isn’t. There are always smaller parties, independents etc that are worth voting for.

    I wanted to highlight that the ALP have also done some awful things. Perhaps people do need to think about their vote – and just voting ALP to keep out the Libs is also pretty mindless, especially if you want to move the ALP into a more progressive direction. Rewarding them with a first preference vote, is unlikely to curb their swing to the right, don’t you think?

  34. Möbius Ecko

    What about those of us who vote local Peter?

    I’ve always voted for my local member on their merit and that’s seen me vote for most parties and several Indies, including the Dems twice, but probably the Libs slightly more than the others as there was one outstanding Liberal member where I lived for a long while.

    Couldn’t do that now knowing it will help Abbott but the Lib member has moved pissed off with Abbott and her replacement is not much chop.

  35. Möbius Ecko

    Well where is all the media outrage over this, especially about their going on about Gillard reducing tertiary funding for four years to help pay for Gonski?

    “Tony Abbott says he won’t enact Gonski reforms, but will still take uni budget cut savings.”

  36. J.Fraser

    So not “rewarding” a Gillard Labor government sees “Slick” Abbott as Prime Minister.

    How does that help anyone but Gina, Murdoch and the rest of the extreme religious right ?

    “Has Murdoch made up your mind who to vote for”.

    Some people have better sit down and give some serious thought as to who they want running Australia.

  37. LOVO

    Peter,…thanks for the reply 😉 ….. ever since Peter Garrett got dudded back in the 80’s, I too have voted independents, mostly…. (Lib’s once, Greens once, Labor once)… and like Mo, have based my deceicion on merit…. well as far as I could discern merit 🙄 …..but this election, this opposition, this LOTO, this MSM….. blind freddy can see that ‘the playing field’ has been laid bare…..lines have been crossed 😡 ……. there is a ‘feel’ of Nth v’s Sth,.about ‘things’…… an unfairness has crept in….. Aussie is being pitted against Aussie….. upstairs v’s downstairs and non-politicised v’s politicised……. and as far as I can, humbly, ascertain…. the line has been crossed by the MSMLNP and their backers…… this has pushed me to the view point that my Father has ‘always’ admonished me with …”A vote for any party other than Labor, is a vote for the LNP”
    ….profound words in these unpresidented times…… if one were to do an Risk Assessment on the outcome ALP v’s LNP…. surely anyone can/could/should see that Abbott and his MSMLNP puppets are not worth the risk……as this post suggests..which would we rather…..

  38. Pingback: So you’re thinking of voting for Tony Abbott? Think again! | The Australian Independent Media Network

  39. Ken McKinlay

    Last night I had the unsettling experience of ‘discussing’ PM Gillard vs the Rodent with a 20 year old. Never met the kid before, didn’t know his background, an acquaintance of a young work colleague. I have to admit I am despondent and resigned to what I believe is inevitable, the LNP is going to win in September.
    Articles like this, whilst exceedingly amusing, will do little to change the outcome of the election. We are the converted, we don’t need to be convinced. I try, whenever possible, to enlighten & educate, so much so that I am viewed as ‘kind of a nutter’ at work. To no avail.
    Can anyone give me any pointers?

  40. kate ahearne

    ‘I have to admit I am despondent and resigned to what I believe is inevitable, the LNP is going to win in September.’

    My dear Ken, you don’t have to admit any such thing. Where’s your gumption? How do you think Hitler was defeated? Did a whole lot of people sit down and say, ‘I’m defeated’?

    This attitude is starting to make me really cranky. Are you a troll? You’re certainly behaving like one. If you’re not, we have no need of trolls – we’re perfectly capable of ‘trolling’ ourselves.

    Didn’t you even look at the post-Budget polls? Didn’t you even notice, for example, the Nielsen Poll? Or did you just ingest, by some osmotic process, the headlines? And who provided you with those?

    Are you part of the solution, Ken? Or are your attitudes the biggest problem that we are facing – we, who are truly frightened by the prospect of a democracy, our democracy, THE democracy that might be in danger of losing the good fight.

    Declare yourself, Ken.

    We all lose heart from time to time, but your way of doing it is so public and so destructive.

    Actually, you have inspired me to use your remarks for a new article which will appear on the Fair Media Alliance site in the next couple of days.

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