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SmoKo’s Brisbane Line

The Brisbane Line was a controversial accusation from Labor’s Eddie Ward that the ruling United Australia Party under “Honest Joe” Lyons and “Pig Iron” Bob Menzies was prepared to surrender the northern part of Australia to the Japanese in WW2. Such accusation was never proven but it is incontrovertible that SmoKo Morrison is prepared to surrender Australia’s well-being to the interests of the voracious mining moguls. SmoKo’s Brisbane Line marks the point of no-return for our environment.

Menzies’ denialism was his insistence in 1938 on the sale of pig iron to the Japanese, despite all of the warnings. Scotty From Marketing‘s denialism has now predictably morphed into denial denialism and fatalist propaganda while mother nature is turning our vandalism back on us just as the Japanese would’ve turned our pig iron back on us as munitions. The spin merchant is in whirling dervish mode but he will heedlessly persist with surrendering our country to the eco-vandals and disaster capitalists while we “quiet Australians” “adapt and become more resilient”. It’s his version of turning Japanese (1).

The Brisbane Line analogy is somewhat ironic given it was voters from Queensland who got Scotty From Marketing across the line, it is Queensland that has already surrendered to the coal warlords and it is Queensland that produces an inordinate number of Tory hard core Luddites, weirdos and mining grifters.

The Tories are not just surrender monkeys they are active collaborators.

Clive Palmer, Queensland’s white-shod version of a yellowed Trump is a dishevelled bag of laundromat lost property. Clive is calling in the Lib’s $60M IOU as he targets the Galilee Basin for tax-payer funded rail links to his planned, subsidised coal mines and the consequent water theft that goes with it while the state is drying out and burning.

Georgie Porgy Christensen, that ten pin-shaped nudie bar consultant and ping-pong ball fieldsman saw his vote at the election actually increase. Apparently his climate denialism is more important to the finger painters in his Queensland electorate than was his regular cashing in of his frequent perver points in the shady Philippine neighbourhoods of cut-price bordellos, strip clubs and back alley knee trembles.

Poider from Security also had his vote increase at the last election. Parochial Queenslanders love nothing more than the prospect of Spud’s dark-uniformed goons tasering southern greenies. A heavily surveilled police state? Tojo didn’t quite make it as far as our pointy-ended state so its citizens now vote for Poider as an acceptable alternative. Poider was last seen publicly when at a Gold Coast Indonesian restaurant ordering take-away nazi goering.

Matt Canavan, climate criminal number 1 who in true Tory fashion is boostering the business interests of a family member via coal mining (2). This squinting, shifty-eyed Tony Abbott mini-me and his dodgy mate Black Angus Taylor can smell tax payer money through a concrete wall. These two despicable arseholes would happily club baby seals if they could hide the profits in the Cayman Islands.

Then of course there’s Pauline Hanson. A Ronald McDonald look-alike but with more credible clown credentials she continues to trigger coulrophobia across the land and drive down the national IQ average. The closest Pauline has come to nature conservation is deep-freezing her John Dory fillets and carving Peter Dutton images into the spuds as customer keepsakes. Pauline wants “this nonsense thrown out the window”. So do I, Pauline, so do I.

Queensland refugee, Barking Barmy Joyce, with his purple majesty tucked back into his dungarees for the moment, is never one to let an opportunity for graft or publicity go unanswered. Mouth aflap, revealing dentistry made from a discarded witchdoctor’s necklace, Barking has been throwing his deity under the environmental bus, accusing his maker of being behind the drought. If you want a do-nothing approach to planetary survival Barking is your man.

Susssan Ley, consonant abuser and Minister for the Environment (who says Tories don’t have a dark sense of humour?) has taken time out from incinerating koalas and destroying their habitats to visit a home for flambéd wildlife as an opportunistic self-promotion. Upon discovering that real koalas were much larger than the souvenir versions on her aroma therapy bracelet she took fright and passed the time poking wombats with a stick.

* * * * *

In the past I have accused the Tories of being lazy as well as incompetent. I will revise that. Their work ethic has resulted not only in the extinction of species but also their ongoing work towards the extinction of affordable health care, progressive taxation, public ownership of resources, adequate funding of public schools, open courts, the right to dissent, an independent public service, transparent government, support for science and the arts, world class comms, TAFE, manufacturing, the right to organise, affordable housing, liveable wages and freedom from religious bigotry.

Winston Churchill said, ‘Truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but, in the end, there it is.” The truth of climate change has caught the Tories out with their climate lies, their denialism, their distortions and their corruption. They’re now busily re-writing history, yet they will not change their underlying objectives – unconditional surrender to the coal magnates’ empire of a reddening sun. Australia’s future under the Tories is a treeless, sun-blasted quarry populated by compliant serfs and the charred corpses of whatever’s left of our wildlife.


(1) You Boomers may recall the suggestive lyrics of The Vapors 1980 hit Turning Japanese. The underlying inference is more than appropriate for the wankers we have in this farce we call a government.

(2) Canavan’s brother John Canavan is Managing Director of Winfield Energy, a private coal company with a significant interest in Australia’s second largest coal mine (Rolleston) and financier of a export coal terminal (WICET). He’s also a former executive of Peabody Energy.

This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. pierre wilkinson

    one day you will really say what you want to say Grumpy, and i look forward to that day

  2. Grumpy Geezer

    You’ll be amongst the first to get a copy, pierre.

  3. Roswell

    Advance copies are selling fast.

    Make your cheques payable to Roswell.

  4. Grumpy Geezer

    I’ve gained an agent. Woooo!

  5. Kaye Lee

    Less than an hour ago, failed furniture salesman and Scotty from Marketing’s captain’s pick, Craig ‘thick as a brick’ Kelly posted this on facebook


    Climate Alarmists have been busy claiming that increasing Co2 levels (0.03% to 0.04%) is causing more bushfires – ask any brainwashed climate cultist and that claim is part of their belief system.

    But THE SCIENCE says the exact opposite.

    In a peer-reviewed paper published in Quaternary Science Review in January 2011, titled, ‘Late Quaternary Fire Regimes of Australasia’ Mooney et al. conclude;

    ‘’All of the regions show REDUCED fire during the last 50 years, and this is despite the widespread use of prescribed burning as a means of fire control in much of Australia.’’

    NB : Yet again, the truth is the exact opposite of the Alarmist narrative peddled in the media and swallowed, hook line & sinker by the naive and gullible.”

    He then links to this abstract which doesn’t contain the quote he used (it may be in the full paper but he doesn’t link to that). What it does say is that “On orbital time scales, fire in Australasia predominantly reflects climate, with colder periods characterized by less and warmer intervals by more biomass burning.”

    Someone feeds Kelly this stuff.

  6. Matters Not

    KL – yes it’s obvious he’s being ‘fed’ – drip by drip. Or should that be drop by drop (to use the political insiders’ language)? But never mind, under the current arrangements his electors will have another opportunity to make another decision in approximately three years. But at that time, it’s likely they will think they are voting on whatever distraction has been recently manufactured. Perhaps, going to another war? Or maybe bringing the troops home from …

    Ain’t the current arrangement just wonderful. Be thankful we live in a democracy where the citizens get to decide the really important stuff.

  7. Kaye Lee

    The preselectors might beat the electors to it. Eight months after the election and they are already calling for preselections in Victoria in seats held by Liberals.

    I doubt the local Liberals in Hughes will be happy to be overriden a third time in order to keep a belligerent idiot.

    Mind you, my political predictions rarely come true.

  8. Matters Not

    Why should the citizens have to wait another few (very long) years to express buyer’s remorse? We have the technology to make real change just a few keystrokes away. Perhaps the citizens can’t be trusted? And if so, then why have a democracy? Because things aren’t going too well at the moment are they?

    PS, I’m of the view that Craig didn’t win. Rather his opponent lost. And for reasons that can be universalised to so many other seats. And to government as a whole.

  9. Matters Not

    That such a (relatively) small number of Liberal Party members get to decide who will effectively become the Member for (whatever) is a sad indictment of the current arrangements. That an even smaller number (particular faction members) can decide who will be that member is of farcical proportions.

    One wonders why there’s no mood for real change?

    But I’m told spelling standards are on the .. And copperplate writing is making a comeback.

  10. paul walter

    This is wonderful, wonderful writing- one of the best state of plays I’ve had the pleasure of reading for a while.

    We even got a break from Bridget McKenzie and GG, you deserve a medal for that alone. I can’t comment further, too much of the last few weeks has induced a sort of nausea when it comes to discussing the LNP, its stringpullers and lackeys.

    Let’s hope GG does his next lot on the WA cabal, surely one of most destructive formations to undermine Australia since Poider promoted himself to dictator in waiting.

  11. New England Cocky

    Damn it GG, you have a unique gift for accurately representing our political culture!! Much enjoyed.

    Menzies was a self serving politician who never went to WWI.

    Uhm … small historical note …. The Brisbane Line was a strategic reality in WWII. Curtain’s Cowboys, 300 country men who knew horses and could ride, patrolled Australia north of the Tropic of Capricorn with a radio, a pack horse and accompanied by an Aboriginal tracker, lived off the land while seeking intelligence of any Japanese landings. The campaign lasted about three years.

  12. josephus

    GG I will send this text to friend here and overseas.with a few notes for the latter.
    Righteous anger sometimes imagined to be the prerogative of an imagined super male deity. But no, humans can display the fury and despair felt by anyone who proceeded beyond special school.

  13. Grumpy Geezer


    A Royal Commission was held to investigate the accusation but couldn’t nail the bastards but i have not much trouble thinking it’s true. Just judging by their current behaviour.

    General MacArthur apparently believed it.

  14. Goran Krivokapic

    Excellent job GG! My favourite was “”take-away nazi goering” 🙂

  15. Harry Lime

    Grumpy,laughed my arse off,should be compulsory curriculum reading for all schoolies over the age of 12.Go do that voodoo that you do so well.
    NEC, did any of those country men come back married?

  16. Henry Rodrigues

    You’ve nailed it , again GG The chicanery and corruption that these bastards practice, and worse still, get way with, is beyond anything that might be acceptable in any poor struggling prehistoric or feudal society. The sympathetic media which protects them and the non- visible governor general who blithely ignores this, are just as complicit.

    May they all rot in the own excrement.

  17. wam

    did anyone see the front page of yesterday’s nt news?????
    god is stirring the pot and smirko will hear the song. Craig, unless he recants, will be delisted when it is safe to do so

  18. Phil Pryor

    You have a list of conservative politicians and the dags attached to them by greed and ambition, and what a pot of huge reeking turds are there for all to see, thieves, liars, rorters, abusers and Fat George the Filipino Fat Fondler. What a country, re-electing manifestations of shit in human imagery.

  19. Phil Pryor

    Further, it was well known in 1941, from army and other services conferences and leaked communications, that Australia could only defend itself in three ways, A. at a distance with allies in strength (Singapore’s collapse ruined that) B. at the borders and periphery, (quite unrealistic) and C. by a line roughly north of Brisbane to north of Adelaide, whereby 7/9 of the population resided in a defendable 1/7 of the nation. Thus many Australians were horrified to feel a sense of being abandoned by an anus of a P M posing and scheming for too long in Britain. Menzies’ own colleagues dumped him and he should have remained out and gone, for the nation’s sake.

  20. Alan Nosworthy

    Yes Queensland has more than our share of high profile coprolites, largely effluvium from Joh Bjielkes reign.
    But Barmys 14 years in Queensland doesn’t imply state responsibility, more that he had shat his bed and needed to go back where he came from.
    I have failed to find any link between suss An Ley and Queensland.
    The political and social expendability of any Australians living north of Brisbane, not just in our pointy state, has long been realised and resented by us living in the north. The politicisation of N.A.I.F. as an idealogically directed slush fund only rubbed salt into ulcered wounds. The cutting of services has hit hardest those who had little service to begin with.
    Unfortunately, the north couldn’t give a f@#$ about giving a f@#$ anymore and so is easy prey for bullartists like fat Clive, Murdoch, and the rest.
    Apathy, disillusion, and disgust are a greater problem than stupidity and greed which are present in statistically average amounts.

  21. New England Cocky

    @GG: Paul Burns wrote a book (Penguin) describing the Brisbane Line politics. He was studying at UNE when he wrote it. (I will seek out the title, but Her Indoors has moved the books around on the shelves).

  22. Grumpy Geezer


    Susssan is not a Queenslander, true, but she’s a visitor (at our expense) to her Qld property portfolio.


    Interested in the book title for sure. (Forgive any typos – She Who Must Be Obeyed* has left a Post It note of jobs to do around the house on my computer screen and i couldn’t be arsed removing it.)

    *I loved Minder and Rumpole Of The Bailey.

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