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Scott Morrison: The Man With A Plan But Not A Target!

A short fiction to begin:

Fred announces he’s decided to go to Paris next Christmas. Barney is not so sure.

“Paris? How much is that going to cost you?

“I’m not sure yet. I haven’t checked out flights or accommodation but I have decided that Paris is my preferred destination for my holiday.”

“What? You’re insane. That’s no way to organise a holiday.”

“No?”

“No. You just decide where you want to go and then work out the details after that. First you need a plan, and once you’ve worked out a plan, then you ask yourself will there be new technologies like instant transportation or spaceships, and when you’ve worked out your plan to the last detail, that’s when you work out where you’re going.”

“Really. I’ve always decided where I was going and then worked out the best way to get there.”

“No, that’s just irresponsible.”

“But how do I know where I’m going if I haven’t worked that out first?”

“You don’t. That’s why it’s essential to have a plan, because wherever you find yourself you can say that it’s where you planned to be.”

“What if I don’t like where I end up?” And how will I know if my plan’s successful if I don’t know where I’m going?”

“Look, you’re just being irresponsible and stupid. Paris is a long way off and you can’t just decide to go there and work out how you’re going to get there.”

“Well, what’s your plan for next Christmas then.”

“Oh, I’ve going to board an old steamship and shovel in some coal and when we run out of coal that’s where we meant to end up.”

Yeah, I think that about sums up my problem with the Labor Party being constantly asked how much net zero emissions is going to cost, when nobody ever seems to ask the Coalition for any details whenever they announce that they have a plan.

I mean, I’m sure you all remember their plan for jobs and growth. Or rather, I’m sure that you remember them telling you that they had a plan for jobs and growth. They were pretty short on the detail, and I do remember suggesting that it was like a plan for fixing a drought with rain. If you keep asserting that you have a plan, eventually it will rain and you can go: “See, I told you I had things under control!”

Unfortunately for the Liberals, the economy tanked just as they were about to fulfil their plan and the Budget was once again going to return to surplus. For some reason, I think of the apocryphal tale of the man who nearly proved that he could eventually feed his horse on nothing by cutting down a handful of feed a day, because what difference would a handful make; Just when he was about to prove his point, the horse unfortunately died.

Yes, as Scotty said in the election campaign. “We have delivered a surplus. Next year”, showing that his understanding of the past and present tense is even worse than his understanding of the difference between the truth and an outright lie.

Who could have predicted that there’d be some event that would slow down growth in the rest of the world which would, in turn, slow down Australia’s growth and put the precious surplus in jeopardy? For that matter, who could have predicted that the drought would continue? Who could have predicted that we’d have bushfires? Who could have predicted that the people who predicted droughts and bushfires would be worse in the future could possibly be right?

Anyway, it’s good to hear that the government is considering some form of a stimulus package. Nothing too extreme like the Rudd one. Before you go around saying that it worked, you have to remember that it was unnecessary because Australia didn’t go into recession so there was no need for all that stimulus. No, it wasn’t Labor following Ken Henry’s advice. Unlike the coronavirus, the GFC had no effect here. Scott and Just Joshing are looking at giving money to businesses so they can still pay people their wages. Or something like that. They haven’t worked out all the details but they certainly do have a plan even if they haven’t worked out exactly what it is. They always have a plan. And it’s always a good one even if it’s not one that can be explained in any more detail than, “We have planned for this, so don’t you worry about when and where and what we’re going to do, because we’re busy implementing our plan and I reject the premise of you suggesting that this caught us unaware.”

Yes, while it seems that the only way that the Budget surplus can be rescued seems to be shifting another few billion from the NDIS, we’ll still be hoping for trickle-down economics. The basic idea of trickle-down economics is that if you make the people who have plenty of money even richer then they’ll go out and buy a new Maserati and the car salesman will be so grateful that he’ll throw a few coins into the cup of the homeless people he passes. Or at the very least, speak to them and remind them that the best form of welfare is a job. Or if not a job, a subsidy to business so that they can avoid stealing from their employees.

Yes, as someone once said, trickle-down economics just means that those lower down are being pissed on!

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17 comments

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  1. Geoff Andrews

    Ah, but you forget it’s a CUNNING plan.

  2. Peter F

    @Geoff…A plan? I think it is a stunt.

  3. Pingback: Scott Morrison: The Man With A Plan But Not A Target! #newsoz.org #auspol - News Oz

  4. Phil Pryor

    A government of cunning stunts (hello, Geoff) led by a head Moron and backed up by the Great Convention of conservative Village Idiots is in charge and they have a plan to eventually have a plan, if indeed such an occurrence actually occurs. Unable to muster the necessary intellectual requirements, due to a gross shortage of qualified, honest, experienced, capable, talented members, the government will rely on its usual attempts at humour, exaggeration, guesswork and passing of time, with a little help from the Murdoch Media Maggots and Misfits. We are rooted.., er, to the spot in Australia with as bad a government as one could wish on one’s enemies.., but the enemies are here, in government ranks, with star turns like the rooting, rorting, raving, rinsed out ratbag from New England, the Heydrich impersonator from far north Queer-nsland, Fat George the Filipino fist fornicator and floundering fool, Mc Identikit-Blot from the River-ofstolenwater-rina, and a huge cast of happy robbers,(Stuart is one, Stuart Robber), gravy train insiders and assorted duds, deviates, dills, drongos. The nation needs planning, leadership, action and it has a pot of inert turds in office.

  5. Fergy Nell

    Scott Morrison is a man who lies even when the truth is harmless. He cannot help himself. He’s a disgusting piece of work.
    And most of Australia is happy wit his performance.
    G’delpus.

  6. Dave G.

    Oh there’s a plan alright,more welfare for the well off,ABC silenced,the unemployed & vulnerable kept to their begging status,non private schools stripped of funding,that’s just a few I can think of.The Liberal Party with the Agrairian Socialists have a plan alright but it doesn’t include the ordinary Punter like you & I.

  7. Kaye Lee

    They have a plan to keep coal and gas going for as long as they can. They don’t care where we end up.

  8. New England Cocky

    @Kaye Lee: A local update on the Narrabri CSG situation and NSW consequences of Queensland decisions.

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-02-27/gas-giants-misled-governments-accc-boss-rod-sims-says/12004254
    https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/mar/04/worlds-largest-insurance-broker-under-pressure-over-support-for-adani-and-other-coal-projects?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-05/santos-given-extended-gas-exploration-rights-qld-channel-country/12026070

  9. New England Cocky

    @Kaye Lee: A local update on the Narrabri CSG situation and the consequences of Queensland CSG exploration decisions.

    1) https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-02-27/gas-giants-misled-governments-accc-boss-rod-sims-says/12004254

    2) https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/mar/04/worlds-largest-insurance-broker-under-pressure-over-support-for-adani-and-other-coal-projects?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

    3) https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-05/santos-given-extended-gas-exploration-rights-qld-channel-country/12026070

  10. Stephengb

    Clearly the plan has been on place for 7 years, and that means the voters decided that the plan was the correct plan and voted for the plan to continue.

    Now let is understand the clear fact – this LNP is far clever than the ALP, they have planned and executed a massive corruption of the public purse for 7 years and guess what?

    There are still a hell of a lot of LNP supporters, who think this is acceptable

    Poor country this Australia!

  11. Bronte ALLAN

    And they ALWAYS blame the Labor mob if “something” does not go according to one their multitude of “plans”! This f#cking useless lying, flat Earth, happy clapper COALition could not win a chook in a chook raffle. They have neither the brains or the honesty or the forethought about anything except how to keep ALL their obscenely wealthy Industrialists, Pastoralists, Mining magnates, Property developers, Media owners etc. And we have to put up with more years of their bloody crap too!

  12. paul walter

    His plan is to undermine democracy to the point that he and his stringpullers can loot without censure.

  13. New Bruce

    The rwnj bastard party always have a plan. Blame Labor.
    They even went to the extent of having a blueprint (aka spreadsheet) to ensure their plan for winning the last election.
    @Bronte. They OWN the chook farm.
    They lie cheat steal rape and pillage their way across the country without thought or care, and yet We the Voter still give them a “Fair Go” every 3 years or so instead of taking them out the back of the local polling booth and removing them from the population.
    “I’m sorry officer, he’s wasting oxygen. That’s alright sir, carry on.”
    We complain loudly and often, on here and elsewhere about banarnaby jooce and angus tailspin et al, and laugh about their collective single digit IQ, but tell me, who really are the dumbest arses in Australia, because as far as I can tell, most of Us are skint.

    See you on the barricades.

  14. Jack Cade

    To paraphrase Katherine Murphy’s article in The Guardian (about the need for a federal ICAC):
    ‘The benchmark for (this government) is not the national interest, but what they can get away with.’
    Murphy has redeemed herself since her apparent hero Malcolm Turnbull was Morrisoned (we all thought he was being Duttoned). She always writes well, but since shallow Mal’s was assassinated she writes objective and quite fearless articles. In fact the Guardian has assembled a nice stable of excellent, mainly female, commentators.

  15. jim tougher

    bronte allan. they dont have to win a chook – they won the election. how many are now regretting that decision or won”t admit they voted for the worst government in years with a lying, cheating, cynical
    sneering, arrogant pig at the helm. why is more not made about the lie he told when he denied that he requested his spiritual guider accompany him to his meeting with donald trump!!

  16. 3poodles

    suck it up folks……..we made our bed ( you know the rest )

  17. Aortic

    Is a cunning stunt spoonerism?

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