Now I’ve decided that there comes a time when one needs to put cynicism aside and get behind the leader. No, not to stab him in the back like they so often do in politics. Scott Morrison is proposing a JobMaker program and I think that’s something we should all be celebrating. Unlike JobSeeker where people look for jobs that don’t exist or JobKeeper where people keep jobs that don’t exist, JobMaker is all about creating jobs that don’t exist YET but will exist once unions agree to stop getting in the way by demanding that people are actually paid their award wage. As we have seen recently, this places an impossible demand on business people who aren’t capable of following an award or filling out a form correctly.
So we now have JobMaker. I have it on good authority that it was going to be called Jobsandgrowther until someone pointed out that it might remind people of Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey and the current government hopes that nobody realises that they were actually part of that catastrophe because the leadership team has changed so much and the ones who were still there from that time have managed to disguise themselves in ways that makes them virtually unrecognisable. Scott the “I stopped the boats” became Scottie the daggy dad who lets in cruise ships, while Peter Dutton found a Lord Voldemort costume which makes people forget that he was voted the Worst Health Minister in history. Although to be fair, only his colleagues voted on that. It was decided that Dutton should be given a ministry which would enable him to simply say that he couldn’t commit because of security concerns. Unfortunately, Dutton has grown tired of simply repeating himself and has decided to make comments on a whole range of things outside his portfolio.
But let’s not got bogged down in the detail. The most important thing is that the government has made an announcement and once the government makes an announcement, the problem is usually fixed. Or at least, fixed enough that nobody much mentions it any more, and if some “politics as usual” journalist should be rude enough to bring it up at a press conference, they can be put in their place with a simple: “We’ve dealt with this already and it’s time to move on to the issue at hand which is more important than what the Canberra bubble cares about.”
Yes, as the PM told us, we’ve succeeded on the health front, so we can forget all about that and move on to the economic crisis that we can fix by this process of bringing bosses and workers together and getting them to find areas of agreement, which I hasten to add isn’t like the old Accord that Labor worked out in the eighties. No, it’s not an “Accord” which is a formal agreement. This is a lot more relaxed and more like people getting together to determine is there a better way to ensure that those who have a go, get a go and how good is that? The big difference, of course, is that under Hawke everybody had to agree before there could be an “accord” because it wouldn’t be an agreement unless they did, whereas under our current leader, we’re just ambitious for an agreement but if there isn’t one, we already know that things have to change and we already know what the changes need to be, so it’s really just being polite by giving the unions a chance to agree before we introduce the legislation to compel them to. Sort of like when you give the person a chance to resign before they’re sacked…
So, I think it’s about time before we all got behind Scottie’s plan. He’s ambitious for it, but not in the way that he was ambitious for Malcolm Turnbull just before Malcolm decided that politics was getting in the way of his literary career. No, he has high hopes that if we can fix up the training system and get people to develop skills then JobMaker will have done it’s work in much the same way as we can get it to rain by hiring a special RainMaker who can create rain. It doesn’t happen as soon as said RainMaker goes into action, but you can be sure that after the appropriate moves, we’ll all be ready for rain when it happens.
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