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Satire has become impossible – there’s no way to make these men more ridiculous than they actually are!

Photo: news.com.au

Photo: news.com.au

“Somewhere there are still peoples and herds, but not with us, my brethren: here there are states.

A state? What is that? Well! open now your ears unto me, for now will I say unto you my word concerning the death of peoples.

A state, is called the coldest of all cold monsters. Coldly lieth it also; and this lie creepeth from its mouth: “I, the state, am the people.”

It is a lie! Creators were they who created peoples, and hung a faith and a love over them: thus they served life.

Destroyers, are they who lay snares for many, and call it the state: they hang a sword and a hundred cravings over them.

Where there is still a people, there the state is not understood, but hated as the evil eye, and as sin against laws and customs.

This sign I give unto you: every people speaketh its language of good and evil: this its neighbour understandeth not. Its language hath it devised for itself in laws and customs.

But the state lieth in all languages of good and evil; and whatever it saith it lieth; and whatever it hath it hath stolen.

False is everything in it; with stolen teeth it biteth, the biting one. False are even its bowels.

Confusion of language of good and evil; this sign I give unto you as the sign of the state. Verily, the will to death, indicateth this sign! Verily, it beckoneth unto the preachers of death!

Many too many are born: for the superfluous ones was the state devised!”

Thus Sprach Zarathustra

Frederich Nietzsche

Of course, the best place to stop asylum seekers is at the source.

Rather like the idea of a “pre-emptive strike”.

Or LLAP-Goch – the ancient art of self-defence where you use surprise – you attack your opponent even before he’s thought of attacking you. See Monty Python LLAP-Goch.

Of course, we deplore torture. But shit happens. It’s difficult. After all, some of those silly people on the left have even accused us of torture when all we do is lock people up indefinitely. And we don’t even run those detention centres. They’re privatised. So it’s really nothing to do with us.

And as for giving Sri Lanka two of our boats, well, it IS part of our foreign aid budget. Those lefties were appalled when we cut foreign aid, but when we give two boats to a government to help them rescue people trying to leave their country the usual suspects complain. These people are suggest that the Sri Lankan Government is bent, but then the same suggestions were made about that Sri Lankan off-spinner’s arm and tests showed that his delivery was legitimate, so I think everyone should take a cold shower, and just accept that we know best and that it’s the facts that count, which, of course, you don’t have access to, because we’re keeping them to ourselves, so you’re in no position to comment.

Really, it’s simple economics. These boats will save us money in the long run, because we don’t have to lock these people up when they get here. And remember, we do have a budget emergency. Why else would we need to borrow more money than Labor did and sell everything that isn’t nailed down?

John Howard – our next Governor-General – managed to stop the boats arriving, but we plan to stop the boats leaving. That’ll save on the costly business of having to process the people on them. If only we could get tanks to Syria: Shoot them down as they try and leave that country.

Then we could turn our attention to the problem of child abuse and how to stop all these people complaining about our good friend, Saint George Pell. After all, this Royal Commission was set up by Labor and therefore there must be something wrong with it.

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