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Do We Really Need A Day To Celebrate Bloody Boat People Coming Here Without An Invitation!

They came here on boats. They had no permissions or passports. What’s more, many of them were guilty of crimes in their country of origin – that’s why they had to leave. Yes, I know that some of the bleeding hearts will say that their crimes were not that serious, but the fact remains, they broke the law of the country where they previously lived, and they had no intention of trying to adopt the values of Australia. They insisted that they had a right to be here, and many of them were aggressive and unwilling to behave in a friendly manner.

So why some people seem so intent on insisting that we celebrate Australian Day on the anniversary of their landing is totally beyond me. Particularly when we treat recent boat arrivals so harshly. January 26th – some people tell us that we should celebrate on that date because that was the date that a group of convicts and soldiers arrived, hoisted a flag and said, “This is Australia”. Except that they didn’t have any concept that they were starting up a country. This was just a British outpost and good for nothing except getting rid of human baggage. There was no pride in their new “country” and the flag that they raised was the British flag. You know, the same one that the ANZACs fought and died under.

I guess some people will think that I shouldn’t say these things. After all, countries depend on their myths, not the truth. Once one starts telling the truth, then one is an unpatriotic scoundrel. It’s like pointing out that, in some places, you’d be fighting for God and justice on the other side of the border were it not for the fact that they drew the line a few kilometres to the left in order not to make it too wobbly.

I’ve always said that we should celebrate the Rum Rebellion on January 26th. Coincidently, that’s the day it occurred. And who could object to people rising up and getting rid of a leader with Bligh in his name. Certainly not Malcolm Turnbull. Although his middle name is “Bligh”, nobody has called him a leader… Ok, Malcolm himself called himself “a strong leader”, but that’s like me looking in the mirror and saying “I am one gorgeous man”. Not only does it not make it true, it doesn’t make it any less pathetic just because one says it twice and nods.

Speaking of pathetic, has anyone else grown concerned about Australia turning into Cuba? And by anyone else, I don’t mean that I’ve grown concerned. I just mean anyone about from Liberal, Dan Tehan who backed up Matty Cormann’s concerns that if Bill Shorten gets elected Australia will turn into some sort of socialist state where people get taxed on the basis of their capacity to pay. At this point, I remember a line from some comedian who told us that everyone knew why Robin Hood only robbed from the rich: the poor didn’t have anything worth stealing.

Anyway, Mr Tehan told us:

“I‘ve also seen it in Cuba when I was a diplomat, we’ve seen socialism there and people called it socialism in the sun.

“They’d praise what they were doing with doctors and how they were exporting doctors, but when you went to hospital there you had to take your own bed linen, you had to take your own toilet roll, you had to take your own light bulb.”

Now, apart from the fact that this seems totally consistent with the Liberals “user pays” philosophy, one has to wonder what these terrible policies that’ll turn us all into Stalinists… Or were Cuba Trotskyites? Whatever, they weren’t capitalists and they have the sort of government that wants to interfere with your private life. You know, things like restricting who you marry and demanding that you pledge allegiance to national days…

Basically, the thing that you need to be concerned about are:

  1. You won’t be able to use your family trust any more.
  2. You won’t be able to negative gear any existing houses, unless you’ve already begun an arrangement like this.
  3. Your business won’t get the tax cut of a couple of percent.
  4. The bit of your income over $180,000 will be subject to an extra two percent tax. While it was the Liberals that brought this in, they only did it as a temporary measure until we’d all forgotten that they promised to bring the Budget back into surplus. Now that they’ve given up all hope of ever doing this, there’s no need to impose extra tax on those earning a paltry $180,000… Ok, it’s only being imposed on those earning MORE than $180,000 and surely we shouldn’t tax people like that, or else nobody will have an incentive to take on a job like the one at Australia Post that paid several million a year.
  5. Shorten is vowing to do something about inequality, but if people were meant to be equal, God wouldn’t have created people who vote for One Nation.

You know, come election day, I don’t see Shorten having a lot of potential votes in the people likely to be upset by anything on that list. This attack from the Liberals makes about as much sense as suggesting that if the Labor Party takes a particular course of action then none of the Murdoch editors will run an editorial telling us to vote for Shorten. Let’s be real, even if it was Labor policy to deify Rupert, they’d be unlikely to get a favourable response from the Daily Telegraph. Besides Rupert may see that as insulting because he already considers himself a god.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, to sum up. Forget the controversy about citizenship ceremonies and Australia Day. Next January 26th, grab yourself a rum and parade the streets chanting, “Hey, hey, hi, hi, let’s get get of old man Bligh, ha, ha, he’s now gone, so up his bum, let’s all drink the bloody rum!” I promise you that you won’t be the most ridiculous looking person on that date!


20 comments

  1. Kate M

    Brilliant. Just brilliant:)

  2. Johno

    Nice one cobber.

  3. Peter F

    why have you given up satire?

  4. Rossleigh

    Peter F, because Barnaby Joyce and Malcolm Roberts do it so much better that I don’t feel that I can compete!

  5. Phil

    Great read Rossleigh – satire really does hit hard. So many contradictions in this idiotic Turnbull/Abbott/Dutton conservatism – all tied up in knots and no-one on the radical right with the nous to untie them.

  6. babyjewels10

    Hahahaha! I love this. All this fake pride in – what?? All the hoo haa. People need to do something decent themselves to feel any pride. Bah!

  7. Rossleigh

    Coming soon, the dangers of having a President who can’t spell in charge of the Untied States!

  8. Peter F

    I look forward to being able to laugh with you, but this time I can’t.

  9. helvityni

    Malcolm Bligh Turnbull was not very nice to Lee on 7.30 :”You are only interested in politics , Lee”. He is not , he just wants to be our man from the Snowy River ,who fixes our electricity bills. Earlier on he wanted to show how good and strong he looked in his new leather jacket….wearing a leather jacket makes some men believe that they can fix things, but they can’t really, Abbott has one too…but he couldn’t either….fix things, I mean..

  10. Michael Taylor

    helvityni, he is a politician yet he doesn’t want to talk about politics. What is the point of the man?

  11. wam

    Boat load of real criminals are lauded whilst possinle refugees are reviled. That is the Australia of 2017???
    I loved the cuba hospital bit!!!
    In Aust, under ownership of chinese investment, the private hospital charges for those things, rather, if you get sick then the healthy pay(leaving plenty of cash for profit even after ‘insurance’ adverts in their hundreds every day)
    Fortunately if birth or ingrown toenails is not your illness there is a public hospital with nurses and doctors in attendance nearby

    ps what a silly question. The aimn sees no difference between the loonies, the ultimate loonie, cavanan, plus fringe dual-ers like joyce, shorten, slimy X, nash and xrist knows who else.

    Surely the judges will be able to see the difference and dump the overseas but declare that born in Australia over rules all except the twit cavanan. The overseas born and cavanan who defrauded the system should be billed for their salary but they were pollies so despite they will be let off to correct their mistake and be re-appointed.

  12. Max Gross

    The First Fleet did NOT arrive at Australia on 26 January 1788. It arrived at Botany Bay on 18 January 1788, later moving on to Sydney Cove. On the 25th. Luckily, most patriotic Aussies are utterly clueless regarding their history. Australia did not, in fact, exist as a nation until 7 September 1900 when Queen Victoria signed a proclamation declaring the six British colonies Down Under united as the Commonwealth of Australia. You want a genuine Australia Day, there you have it: 7 September!

  13. diannaart

    Rossleigh

    Leaving me in a state of bliss…

  14. Michael Fairweather

    Well the way to look at it is we are all boat people of some degree or other.

  15. ozibody

    … aaah Rossleigh

    …. the subtle difference between ” Refugees ” and ” Deportees ” … and … blend in…. another era ! ….. 😉

  16. jimhaz

    [Malcolm Turnbull was not very nice to Lee on 7.30]

    Nor should he have been. Like Tony Jones, Sales is pathetic when it comes to politics – all she wanted to do is talk about the gameplay of politics. Everyone should castigate her and others like her until we get some proper questioning about policies.

  17. helvityni

    jimhaz, I’m no fan of Leigh Sales, but for ONCE she wanted answers even from a LIBERAL politician.

    Mal was rude, and did not want to be questioned, he did not want to answer Leigh’s direct questions ; he just wanted to talk about the Snowy River scheme…something in the future…???

  18. Mark Needham

    “They’d praise what they were doing with doctors and how they were exporting doctors, but when you went to hospital there you had to take your own bed linen, you had to take your own toilet roll, you had to take your own light bulb.”

    This is typical of Liberal bullshite.
    Good article.

    The last scene of the movie, ‘Apocalypto”.

    The scariest scene, I have ever seen. A boat of bloody boat people, rowing ashore. Catholic Priests, standing, ready for action. It’s not the migrant people that are a worry or concern, but their bloody religion, like a “syphilitic chancre on the arse of Humanity”.

    10 million units of Kanamycin, for you,
    Mark Needham

  19. deanyz1

    Yes, a brilliant piece. I can’t drink rum, so I will have an IPA (India Pale Ale, not Institute of Public Affairs).

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