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PM Tells Us That He’s Not Responsible For More Than A Handful of RATs…

Of course, it’s easy to pick on governments. After all, they’re the ones doing the heavy lifting. Well, usually…

Just a few days ago, the PM was talking about “personal responsibility”, but now he’s a bit concerned that too many of us thought that it was our personal responsibility to get a PCR test, so now we’re being told that a Rapid Antigen Test is enough. Or as the PM said, “… a RAT test”, which means we should rely on a Rapid Antigen Test Test.

And, of course, it’s not up to the Federal Government to source these tests. They have a few million or so for their areas of responsibility. No, no, the states should be sourcing their own. “How good is NSW and Victoria…” Ok, he never said that last bit, but I think we all got the vibe.

Yes, it’s all about who’s responsible and he certainly isn’t responsible for anything it seems. Unless it’s one of the following: Cricket victories, good economic news, fine weather and helping to keep government out of our lives… That final one is only true when it suits him because he has no trouble allowing Stuart Robert to veto certain research grants on the grounds that the process they went through didn’t allow for the minister to tell them that he doesn’t like people researching things unless they result in more money going into marginal electorates or the bank accounts of Liberal donors.

While there’s been a bit of chatter on social media about the PM being absent during the past few days, I feel that it’s a little unfair. Being PM is a hard job and it’s only right that he should be able to take the odd week off every couple of days. And at Christmas time, Scott Morrison should be able to spend time with his loved ones, just as soon as he’s done those obligatory photos with Jen and the girls…

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I’m not suggesting that Morrison is having an affair. I’m merely picking up on the rumour that he was in Aspen with Murdoch… Not that I believe to be true, but I just thought it was a good line and isn’t that what politics is all about these days? If you come up with the right slogan or line, you don’t have to do any more about it. We’ve committed to net zero and we’re going to do it with technology not taxes.

No, Morrison isn’t the federal minister having an affair…

I’m just wondering if that leaves me open to legal action. I mean, could any federal minister having an affair sue me over that, or could I just argue that it could be any of them? And when I say it could be any of them, I’m not suggesting that they all are… I’m just suggesting that there’s a rumour that at least one federal minister is happily married and not having an affair.

Of course, the whole issue about politicians having the right to keep their personal lives secret can be tricky for journalists. For example, if someone who has a strong family values stance in their campaigns, is it not in the public interest to know that they regularly hold drunken orgies in their offices? (Now I’m not suggesting that any politician actually does that before any politician reading this wonders how I knew and attempt to sue me!) While I’m sure people will have different opinions on that, what if the politician’s partner is an actress that he’s paid for the past few years and his children are robots? Does the public then have a right to know? And, if the actress playing the role of the wife is replaced like Darren was in “Bewitched”, should the press then challenge it or should they just go along with the charade?

I mean we’ve all witnessed Scott Morrison parading his religion and his curries and Jenandagirls, so at what point can he say, “Look, that’s off limits, you have no right to ask if that’s Jen eating the curry in the photo, just because she has her back turned and she appears to have much larger shoulders than she normally has… It’s none of your business whether she eats it or not. I told you that it was her favourite so that’s all you need to know!” And, if pressed, would he simply call in Phil Gaetjens to do an investigation into whether or not Jen has ever actually eaten a curry that he’s made.

And then we had Greg Hunt telling us all that his kid had suggested that this was his last chance to be a proper father… Now, I hope that he checked with the kid before broadcasting his views. Certainly, he would find it inappropriate for a journalist to follow up with questions like: “So, do you think he’s been a better Health Minister or a better father?” or “When you said it was his last chance, did you mean for you and your sister or were you suggesting that he should have another sibling before he got too old to do it right?” Well, he was the one who brought fatherhood into his resignation speech, so I guess he must have considered how this would play out amongst his offspring’s peers…

Whatever the situation with some of the politicians, we can rest assured that the new Covid rules mean that they can no longer be considered close contacts with anyone in the Parliament, giving how infrequently it sits. Apparently, you now have to either be living in the same place as a Covid positive case or have had unprotected sex with them for an extended period of time.

As I write this, Mr Morrison has just finished his press conference where he talked about close contacts… at least that’s what I presume he meant even if sounded like something that his government does on a regular basis. Now we need to be personally responsible for finding our own RATs unless we fit a number of criteria and we certainly won’t be getting them for free. Giving people free RATs would encourage them to test themselves and that could lead to a surge in the numbers, so it’s really better if we keep the numbers to the sort of level that suggests it’s under control. After all, the long queues in NSW and Victoria must have prevented at least a couple of thousand positive cases from being tested!

There’s a lot of things that we can criticise Morrison for, but certainly it’s hard to criticise him for anything that he’s actually done.


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  1. GL

    They can’t possibly use any of the magically found $16billion they’ve got stashed away. That’s only for getting votes and much pork barrelling in marginal federal seats. How dare someone even suggest they could use some it for a good and immediate purpose.

  2. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh. Hilarious/horrible.

    It might backfire on him, though. All those people wanting tests who haven’t been able to get them! some of them might be swinging voters – as opposed to Swinging …

  3. Gus

    RAT’s explains it all; Lab Rats!

  4. Michael Taylor

    There’s a lot of things that we can criticise Morrison for, but certainly it’s hard to criticise him for anything that he’s actually done.

    I can’t tell you how much I love that sentence. 😂

  5. Phil Pryor

    Scott Fraud-Fistjob cannot lead, is a debilitated follower of donor’s requirements, neocon nastiness, selfish shitspraying and anything self-focussed for egoknobrubbingcareeradvancement. Never have we had such sub-base surly slobbery.

  6. Harry Lime

    The criminally incompetent and screamingly fake slob is staring a record drubbing in the face,and I suspect he knows it.The one thing he has managed to achieve since he weasled his way into the top job, is that he has become progressively worse,demonstating conclusively that he is totally unfit for purpose.The prayer meetings are falling on deaf ears,and the advice he’s getting is not worth shit, which is hardly surprising when you look at the brainless acolytes he’s installed around him.We can look forward to the new year with justifiable optimism,but not before a desperate cretin unveils his final tranche of straw clutching.Happy fucking New Year ,Scuzzball…International embarrassment of the year.And to all those Newscorpse propagandists…fuck you. nd

  7. New England Cocky

    Rossleigh once again you have nailed it!

    @Harry Lime: ”The criminally incompetent and screamingly fake slob is staring a record drubbing in the face” is a popular sentiment across Australia, however, the money spent on legal false political advertising combined with the national political memory span of about 5 nanoseconds can change too many election results for the worse.

    At Bendemeer NSW there is a highway sign shouting ”You cannot trust the National$” which is the truest political statement ever made ….. sponsored by the Palmer UAP politicians.

  8. Kaye Lee

    The Liar from the Shire has been caught out again. Yesterday he said RAT tests wouldn’t be free because of concerns from the suppliers. Today the suppliers say that’s crap. Turns out, the government just doesn’t want to pay for them.

    They could throw billions of dollars at profitable businesses but they won’t spend money to keep us healthy – they want us to assume personal responsibility and pay ten times what it would cost them to buy the tests wholesale.

    Meanwhile, we have $248 billion sitting in Peter Costello’s Future Funds.

  9. Kate Ahearne

    Kaye, you’re right to mention the Future Fund. This is our rainy day. The future is now.

  10. Kaye Lee

    I agree Kate. Particularly since over $40 billion of it is just sitting there as cash.

    We’ve got over $15 billion sitting in the DisabailityCare fund as they cut funding to thousands and make others jump through impossible hoops to get the care they need.

    Perhaps they could use some of the $22.1 billion in the Medical Research fund to provide Rapid Tests for free – having thousands in hospital is not a great way to spend resources.

  11. Henry Bateman

    But Ross there is a couple of things our Scotty dog has done, like pissing on the legs of the French and the Chinese. Now that the fella from done under is unacceptable in polite society (said with tongue firmly in cheek) he is starting to spray all over the place. Jen should really start to work on getting him house trained.

  12. Kate Ahearne


    The money for all those car parks has got to come from somewhere, and who are the least able to stick up for themselves than disabled, elderly, unemployed etcetera people?

    P.S., I hope your nephie is OK now. We’ve had to isolate here because one of our Christmas visitors returned a positive result late on Christmas Day – 3 days after he was tested in NSW and given the OK to travel. Another one of our family tested positive a couple of days later. Luckily, there is enough separate accom. here for people to isolate. My sister, BIL and myself are all in our seventies, and the other so-far-negative testing person is a four year old. It makes me sick to think that money is being withheld for testing and RATs, so that the numbers of people being infected is so far higher than it should be. And that’s not to mention the difficulties, in our particular case, of feeding so many people when you live 20 k from the nearest town. And what do you do about a 4 yo who wants to be with her infected Mum and Dad?

    Gimme strength! The good news is that the rest of us have now had 2 negative tests, and we are allowed to do ‘essentials’ like shopping for food and doctor visits.

  13. GL

    He’s also saying that stores have the “…“certainty” the government would not be providing them free to “anybody and everybody. “They are not going to go and order quantities to have on their shelves if they fear the risk of that occurring,” Mr Morrison said on Thursday.
    “What I’m being very clear about to them today is the governments of Australia, commonwealth, state and federal are not going to do that.”

    This is sheer effing madness from the Pustule Maximus Scummo! What’s next a national prayer day for dog to keep us all safe? I’d rather have a national summon Satan day to come and take the LNP and shove them into a room of boiling magma and then chain the doors shut for eternity.

  14. Harry Lime

    Cocky, with government by brainfart re paying for RATs, we could add meaner than catshit (but nowhere near as attractive),dumber than dogshit and egregiously stupid.There appears to no bar too low for this outrageous fool,he has learned absolutely nothing.The sooner he is dragged away by his heels, the better off the entire country will be.
    Henry,maybe Jen should start by training him to stop shitting in his own nest,which just happens to be shared by the rest of us.

  15. leefe


    ” Yesterday he said RAT tests wouldn’t be free because of concerns from the suppliers. Today the suppliers say that’s crap. Turns out, the government just doesn’t want to pay for them.”

    I’ve heard from a number of sources that it’s actually a certain large pharmacy retail chain (whose initials may oo may not involve the letters C and W) who were whingeing about the potential loss of opportunity for rank profiteering from the pandemic.

  16. Bensy

    The whole LNP, should go down like RATs on a sinking shit.

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