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Perhaps The Liberals Should Have Asked Cory Bernardi For A Pre-nuptial Agreement!

Well, the big news is that Cory Bernardi has started his own party. At last count, I understand it had precisely one member, which means that he’s got one more than me, unless I decide to start a party some time in the next twenty four hours.

That’s a political party, of course. If you were the only one at your birthday party, for example, you wouldn’t consider that a party; you’d consider that evidence that you were a social misfit. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a misfit… Just ask Cory why he left the Liberals!

It was apparently, in part, a response to the rise of Pauline Hanson. Of course when I say “rise” I mean that the media seem to find her candidates more worthy of interviewing than people who aren’t living proof of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Let’s be honest here: Some of Pauline’s party are the least suitable senators since Caligula made his horse one. Actually, all the horse did was shit in the wrong place so he may have been less damaging than the One Notion mob.

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh. Just a few days ago, Pauline came up with the great idea of compulsory pre-nuptial agreements for couples. Mm, I can picture some couples saying: “We’re never going to fall out of love and we don’t plan to breed, so can have everything and custody because we’ll never have any!

Consistent with this idea of pre-nups, she suggested that her candidates should have a $250,000 bond which they’d forfeit if they left the party after being elected. Of course, this overlooks the technicality that one could be elected, not leave the party, but consistently bag Pauline and frequently refuse to vote along party lines. How would it work when Pauline herself tosses you out? Actually this sounds rather like Rod Culleton… Come to think of it, it was the modus operandi of many One Notion politicians, which sort of explains why they imploded last time…

Anyway, to help the conservative side of politics fight the drift to minor parties, Senator Bernardi has started another minor party, and this has upset a lot of people who seem to think that the fact he stood as a Liberal just last year and with no obvious change in the party’s position on anything, apart from the change from “jobs and growth” to “jobs and bread and butter issues” because growth was negative last quarter, Cory’s jumped ship.

Perhaps, they’ll come out in the next couple of days and suggest that Pauline was onto something with her idea of pre-nuptial agreements for politicians to prevent them doing a Bernardi.

Is “pre-nuptial” the right word in the case of politicians? I probably should look up exactly what “nuptial” means. I shouldn’t be bandying words about with no understanding their meaning like I’m the President of the United States.

Let’s see,

 

Definition of nuptial
1
: of or relating to marriage or the marriage ceremony
2
: characteristic of or occurring in the breeding season

 

Right, well, pre-nuptial is the wrong word, because there’s no marriage between Bernardi and his party. And clearly, he wouldn’t approve of breeding with them… Although, he certainly has done his best to f*ck Turnbull.

Ah, Turnbull!

It’s always interesting how people have perceived him over the years. The suggestion that now Bernardi’s gone, it gives him a chance to be the “real” Malcolm. He doesn’t have to worry any more. This conveniently overlooks that he hasn’t had to worry since the election because there’s no way they can dump him easily because all it takes is one or two Liberals jumping ship or resigning and suddenly they’re a minority government. The idea that Malcolm is hamstrung because if he upsets the conservatives, they could toss him out as leader overlooks that this could easily bring down the entire government. At the very least, it’d going a long way to making them completely unelectable at the 2019 election. Malcolm has never taken a stand that wasn’t arguably populist. His support – luke warm as it’s been – for marriage equality, the environment, the Republic, you name it, has all been backed by what the majority think. The idea that somehow Turnbull would be different if he just had a little bit more power… Gee, he’s Prime Minister! At what point does he actually start acting on his supposed real beliefs?

That’s right! He stood up to Trump and said that a deal was a deal and that’s why Trump got annoyed. Of course, he did this behind closed doors because you don’t criticise other governments in public. Yet somehow we’re being told what happened in that phone call and how he’s the only man who’s standing up to Trump. But he’s doing it on the phone and he’s not going to say anything in public. In public, Turnbull is a lamb, but let’s just background the media that in private he’s a lion.

I guess that’s why when George “I like posing with my whip” Christensen warned Turnbull today that he needed to be more conservative, Turnbull chose not to comment in public. In private, he’ll be telling George to pull his head in and not to make threats… I’m sure.

Just as I’m sure that Tony Abbott won’t be calling for a spill. No, I promise you. He won’t.

Not this week!

P.S. Someone pointed out that I incorrectly referred to Pauline Hanson’s party as “One Notion”! My apologies, I clearly meant to write: “No Notion”!

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9 comments

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  1. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh. A right giggle.

    I love Pauline’s ‘notion’ of a get-rich-quick scheme. At $250,000 a pop for debunking members, she’d be on Easy Street.

  2. Kronomex

    Bernardi’s Australian Conservatives should be treated like jam except for a few minor changes; salt instead of sugar, hydrochloric acid instead of citric acid then sealed in a big glass jar and dumped in a steel furnace to cook.

    Trunnbulb will keep moving his jaw up and down like the a ventriloquists dummy he has become to keep his fantasy of being leader afloat. Fatboy George is going to become the Australian Bannon and our “glorious” leader will dance when he says to dance.

  3. Harquebus

    Harradine lives. Exorcise Bernardi now.

  4. paulwalter

    And yet people keep voting for them.

    Anyone watch QA this week?

  5. Gangey1959gangey1959

    Thanks Rossleigh.
    That has cleared up the confusion from this morning quite nicely.
    Young Coreheburnsarsies must be feeling a lot more sure of his decision now that our mining magnatess has joined him for drinks.
    (Suck on that one trumbles, even if you have discovered clean coal)
    If cory does go down red’s path and decide that splitters from his lot have to pay him a shitload, he’ll have to change states, because as far as my schoolyard biology book goes, tyeing the knot with ones self is a tasmanian thing and he is from the mainland, but then he is deeply religious after all and they do have a lot of easy outs in that effing book of theirs.
    Anyway, I’m off to beddybyes, cos I have a job interview manana. Wish me luck. ”If at first you don’t succede, get on the blower to your local mp and find out how much cash is being wasted by DES#3 and offer to do it for half and no Centerlink.” I tried that one today. The poor dear on the phone fair near shit when I made her the offer, but 3 sets of DES are wasting a f*ckload of all your lots’ money, and I can’t afford to declare any income if I happen to fluke a job anyway, so this will be better for us all.

  6. 245179

    February 8, 2017 at 1:24 am

    And yet people keep voting for them.”

    “them” being canberra……..we are presented with absolute rubbish, that’s what canberra attracts, rubbish. And “we” have to cast our vote. The sooner canberra hits rock bottom, then just maybe there will be a united “enough is enough”. We are being played for fools and folks are getting that message.
    The more the rorts, the overseas postings,it’s within the guidelines,the lies,the smugness………..the better, it’s fuelling the growing hate of canberra.

  7. Möbius Ecko

    Yet somehow we’re being told what happened in that phone call and how he’s the only man who’s standing up to Trump.

    Well that seems to be a complete crock of shit. If that is the case then why did they send Lieutenant General Angus Campbell to America last year to negotiate the refugee deal because our government thought Trump would can it when he became president?

    Seems to me that Turnbull might have known the outcome of that phone call on the refugee subject before the call was made. Or are we led to believe Angus Campbell failed but Turnbull didn’t? In that case why is Campbell being touted as such a great diplomat and the next Defence Force Chief.

  8. nurses1968

    It seems therre are plenty willing to hand over a decent ammount of $ to listen to Senator Cory Bernardi, George Christensen MP and an array of misfits $150 A TICKET and SOLD OUT

    In Defence of Freedom of Speech – Sydney
    Join Kirralie Smith, Debbie Robinson and fellow freedom fighters Angry Anderson, Ross Cameron, Gabrielle Lord, Larry Pickering and Paul Zanetti for an evening of good food, good company and free expression of opinions. More special guests to be announced. This is an excellent opportunity to mingle with outspoken advocates for Liberty and Western values and show your support for this important cause.

    The ticket price of $150/person
    “THE EVENT IS SOLD OUT AND TICKET SALES HAS ENDED. PLEASE CONSIDER A DONATION TO SUPPORT THE LEGAL DEFENCE FUND”
    In Defence of Freedom of Speech

    Friday, 10 February 2016 in Melbourne start 7:00pm
    THE EVENT IS SOLD OUT AND TICKET SALES HAS ENDED. PLEASE CONSIDER A DONATION TO SUPPORT THE LEGAL DEFENCE FUND

    https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/in-defence-of-freedom-of-speech-melbourne-tickets-29368307398

  9. helvityni

    Kronomex, talking about jaws, I see few of them on this page… Is having a firm large jaw a requisite when joining the Liberal Party…?

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